- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Crazy things you Dad used to say. For the OT guys and gals.
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:59 am to MEANGREEN65
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:59 am to MEANGREEN65
Sitting in church when the old lady's get up to sing, "Oh look, its the Morbid Tabernacle Choir."
1
Posted on 7/22/15 at 9:04 am to TheDude
"why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free" was about his only dating advice.
He was big on working hard and would always say, "no one ever drown in their own sweat, it won't kill you". Not crazy, but stands out in my mind.
As I got older and he knew he would piss mom off, "better to ask forgiveness than permission".
He was big on working hard and would always say, "no one ever drown in their own sweat, it won't kill you". Not crazy, but stands out in my mind.
As I got older and he knew he would piss mom off, "better to ask forgiveness than permission".
Posted on 7/22/15 at 2:50 pm to Langston
Heard my dad talking to tech support from our local cable company about a prob with internet or wifi or something. My dad told the person " How about I hang up, go to college for a couple of years and call you back?"
Posted on 7/22/15 at 3:11 pm to BOSCEAUX
Me: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, nice to meet you.
Me: Dad, can you make me a sandwich?
Dad: Poof, you're a sandwich.
Dad about to get pulled over: Oh shite, he's coming after me. Here, hold my whiskey and don't say anything.
Me at 14: Dad, aren't you supposed to give me the sex talk by now?
Dad: Lower your standards and don't get her pregnant.
Dad after I came up short on a golf shot/putt: Nice shot. Does your husband play?
Dad: Hi hungry, nice to meet you.
Me: Dad, can you make me a sandwich?
Dad: Poof, you're a sandwich.
Dad about to get pulled over: Oh shite, he's coming after me. Here, hold my whiskey and don't say anything.
Me at 14: Dad, aren't you supposed to give me the sex talk by now?
Dad: Lower your standards and don't get her pregnant.
Dad after I came up short on a golf shot/putt: Nice shot. Does your husband play?
Posted on 7/22/15 at 3:14 pm to BOSCEAUX
Some of Dad's:
Mean as a four-balled tomcat
Lucky as a two-peckered skunk
In ref to Budweiser beer - that will make me shite over a 10-rail fence, or shite through as screen door
Mean as a four-balled tomcat
Lucky as a two-peckered skunk
In ref to Budweiser beer - that will make me shite over a 10-rail fence, or shite through as screen door
Posted on 7/22/15 at 3:48 pm to White Bear
Colder than welldiggers butt in Idaho
Hotter than baptist minister pecker with widow
You want a woman with peanut butter thighs.their creamy,delicious, and easy to spread
Boy you could break an avil with glass hammer
Hotter than baptist minister pecker with widow
You want a woman with peanut butter thighs.their creamy,delicious, and easy to spread
Boy you could break an avil with glass hammer
Posted on 7/22/15 at 3:53 pm to miamitiger
When teeing off my Dad always says "shoot low, they're riding shetlands today"
Posted on 7/22/15 at 4:38 pm to BOSCEAUX
quote:
For the OT guys and gals.
Transgenders triggered.
Posted on 7/22/15 at 5:04 pm to Hester Carries
His two favorite messages to me:
1. You don't know shite from shinola .
2, Boy, you're just shovelling shite into the sea.
1. You don't know shite from shinola .
2, Boy, you're just shovelling shite into the sea.
Posted on 7/22/15 at 5:08 pm to Hester Carries
When my Dad would spill or break somthing.
"Shite fire save the motherfricking matches!"
Then I would laugh and He would get pissed at me.
"Shite fire save the motherfricking matches!"
Then I would laugh and He would get pissed at me.
Posted on 7/22/15 at 5:10 pm to BOSCEAUX
son you were so drunk you were holding up both sides of the dining room
Posted on 7/22/15 at 5:56 pm to Birdie King
When speaking of women "Get one that can cook, cause they all can Fk"
Hot slutty women " she knows a d@ck ain't square" then will say " she won't look under your arm for it"
Something hard "was hard as a preachers d&ck"
Lastly. "If your going to be dumb, you better be tough"
Hot slutty women " she knows a d@ck ain't square" then will say " she won't look under your arm for it"
Something hard "was hard as a preachers d&ck"
Lastly. "If your going to be dumb, you better be tough"
Posted on 7/22/15 at 7:39 pm to LCboi
After my crazy ex called my parent's house freshman year to tell my mom I dumped her my dad dropped some great wisdom on me.
"son, I never ask any questions about your women. When your split tail gets in the way of my split tail, someone is getting their arse beat."
That's the last time even a serious girlfriend will have any of my parents contact info.
"son, I never ask any questions about your women. When your split tail gets in the way of my split tail, someone is getting their arse beat."
That's the last time even a serious girlfriend will have any of my parents contact info.
Posted on 7/22/15 at 7:51 pm to BOSCEAUX
Referencing something that deserves a lot of respect:
"That's strong as a garlic milkshake"
"That's strong as a garlic milkshake"
Posted on 7/22/15 at 7:57 pm to BOSCEAUX
Any time I asked what was for dinner he would respond, "Rat sh*t sandwiches and we are out of bread"
Whenever he came out of a public restroom, "That was some Chuck Norris toilet paper. Rough, tough, and don't take any sh*t of your *ss"
If any woman came around who looked like a slut:"That there is a porcupine girl. If as many dicks stuck out of her as been stuck in her, she would look like a porcupine."
Whenever he came out of a public restroom, "That was some Chuck Norris toilet paper. Rough, tough, and don't take any sh*t of your *ss"
If any woman came around who looked like a slut:"That there is a porcupine girl. If as many dicks stuck out of her as been stuck in her, she would look like a porcupine."
This post was edited on 7/22/15 at 7:58 pm
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:05 pm to BOSCEAUX
"I'd watch a monkey frick a football for free" whenever he was asked if he wanted something for free.
When I'd ask him what he was doing he would always respond "playing tennis" no matter what it was he was doing.
When I'd ask him what he was doing he would always respond "playing tennis" no matter what it was he was doing.
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:05 pm to LSUTigerDDS
"Sluts are just practice for the big game."
"I'm fricking this monkey you are just holding the head." Normally in reference if I was giving advice are talking about his driving.
"I'm fricking this monkey you are just holding the head." Normally in reference if I was giving advice are talking about his driving.
This post was edited on 7/22/15 at 8:07 pm
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:08 pm to terd ferguson
quote:
My dad says all kinds of crazy shite... but my friends dad said one of the funnier things I've heard. We were talking about how bad the school system was where my friend went to school and how some black kids were always trying to start fights.
Friend's dad: "I told him that black people are scared of 3 things - deep water, snakes, and crazy arse white people. I told him the next time they tried to start some shite that he should act crazy."
Me: "So did it work?"
Friend's dad: "Nah he got jumped by like 5 or 6 of 'em. I guess he should have brought a pool or some snakes with him."
My dad's friend was bitching once about the local private school letting a black kid go to school there...he said "you can take a 55 gallon drum of vanilla ice cream and the first scoop of shite you put in it will ruin the whole thing"
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:19 pm to deltaland
One time I brought home a less than stellar report card from school. My dad studied it for a minute and then quipped to my mom...
"Well Gloria, at least we know he's not cheating."
And when he caught sight of a really skinny girl, he'd say..."If that girl was a blue crab, I'd have to throw her back."
"Well Gloria, at least we know he's not cheating."
And when he caught sight of a really skinny girl, he'd say..."If that girl was a blue crab, I'd have to throw her back."
Posted on 7/22/15 at 8:25 pm to BOSCEAUX
When referring to a bad driver - "she couldn't drive a greased dick into a lard bucket with a sledge hammer"
On ANYTHING said to be "free"- "Ain't no such thing as a free lunch, boy"
Liked to refer to those he thought were dumbasses as "shite-toters and piss-chunkers"
And my favorite.... "An old woman can't show me nothing but the way a young woman went!"
On ANYTHING said to be "free"- "Ain't no such thing as a free lunch, boy"
Liked to refer to those he thought were dumbasses as "shite-toters and piss-chunkers"
And my favorite.... "An old woman can't show me nothing but the way a young woman went!"
Page 3 of 5
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News