Cliff notes

Dating chick for about 2 years , we are both in 40's.

I'm out of town and about 11pm at night out of the blue I get a text from her. It's a picture of a pregnancy test. Now I'm mid 40's my kids are teenagers so been 15 years since I've seen preg test ... Solid line then a faint line you can barely see. Let me also add that I was sitting in a restaurant bar watching LSU baseball game and was 4-5 beers in. I respond thinking we dodged a bullet , she comes back saying please tell me I'm reading this wrong. So my boss is also a great friend of mine and female .... I send pic to her she confirms a positive.

I respond back to baby mama , hey it is what it , we will get thru this.

I get back to my hotel and text her that it's gonna be ok that I love her and it's gonna be ok.

Next day is when all hell breaks loose ... She's suppose to take another test to confirm. That morning I had to pack and take care of biz before an 11am function. About 1015 I'm finally settled so I hit her up again to check on her , see if she retested etc... Immediately she accuses me of purposely not calling her till almost time for meeting so I wouldn't have to talk to her!
Then she blew a gasket because I should my boss the preg test pic....

This led to a week of calling me every name I the book , and saying some really nasty stuff just to be spiteful.

It didn't stop there , she has kids from previous marriage , she has 50/50 so weeks she has them I'm not around her as much , while week she dosnt we pretty much live together.

Well she was constantly starting issues and drama right when it was her kid free week , which led to a week of us fighting , then By the time dust settles it was limited kid week ..
Every now and then we would survive and have decent week together but then on day her kids returned we would chit chat but at some point she would pull a " well I see you don't want to talk to me I'll leave you alone !" Or some bs one time I told her I was taking my kids to a football game in state but still road trip , we had casual convo all day , then she text me if I'm going to game and I joked with her that "No laundry won out that I was staying home to do laundry " she fires back I get the hint I will not contact you anymore !!

Holy hell !
This went on for months .... Now look I'm in my 40's with a 15 & 17 year old. Zero plans or wants for another child ! So I wasn't exactly jumping up and down throwing parties about the situation. I was stressing about putting 2 kids thru college and starting over with a baby. And her immediate going off the deep end hit me hard and had me thinking wow so do I want to marry this woman? This isn't a Side of her I had seen before.. I thought this reminds me of my failed marriage why go that doomed route again?!

There's a lot of other random crazy , it was like a snow ball that kept rolling down hill getting bigger and bigger Till finally I'm staring at a huge boulder bout to crush me!

Flood happens and I'm dealing with a flooded house and her, I'm working , then going to work on my house then getting to her house after she gets home from her mom duties usually 830-9 range sometimes later.

We have another talk and she thinks I'm avoiding her , because I didn't come over night before because I worked on flood stuff till 1130 and was just exhausted. So she starts with I'm avoiding her , we need more time to work on our relationship etc etc.. And I finally told her that I just didn't have the time with all of the work and flood stuff to give her what she was asking for...

This led to more fighting and eventually I told her point blank , we don't have to be together to take care of this child ! We can coparent and do what's best for baby. After every fight I'd leave her with " I'm here for my child in any and every way please let me know anything needed"

I told her that we needed to be friends again... Not to dump her or bolt but I did love her but I wanted us to build our best friend relationship back up make it solid then move back to our relationship , so we do some friend stuff have a good time , and hell one of the stipulations was NO SEX and it was tough but I went with it but it continued 2 good days 4 bad, etc etc

Finally she's 6 months pregnant she leaves me an emotional voice mail crying ...but telling me I've got 2 weeks to decide if I want her or not ...

Now when flood hit and att had its issues, my voice mail notifications disappeared and to this day I still don't get them, if I click on voicemail last one it says I got was on 8/16/16

So I didn't hear the voice mail for like a week ... I don't know what to do , I don't want to end up in another bad relationship that not only affected me but my kids and her kids who adore me.

But another week passes and guilt is eating me up because she is the mother of my child.

I reach out to her but now she's put up a wall, she's villiamized me like she didn't do any of the negative stuff and I just abandoned her.

She's losing weight, and on depression medicine and ask me to just leave her alone for health of baby for awhile , I agree but now I'm in guilt mode so I'm checking on her and trying to work things out , she begs on 8th month for me to just disappear for baby's health sake , so I do even though I still check on her once a week or so.

Bout week before due date I meet with her to discuss how she wants to handle when baby is born. To my surprise kinda what I thought was best and fair she did too. She thinks she's gonna pop before due date.... Now we didn't discuss birth and hospital deal... But at 3am she hits me up says on way to hospital

I take that as an all good welcome sign so I get my arse there ... It's just her mom and oldest son there. I'm there for everything , there were some complications to where she didn't get to see the baby right away , they took baby to transitioning bc of some breathing issues. Room went from packed with docters and nurses to empty and just her and me alone. She's upset and crying ... I hug her and hold her hand .... I stay with her for hour till her mom comes up then I go to check on baby , I stayed w her entire hospital stay ... Baby goes home I'm At house for couple hours during lunch and as late as I can every night ...

But didn't take long for issues to come around again .... Roller coaster from hell

Finally get her to agree to a custody deal , it starts then after 1st week with ZERO ISSUES.... She renigs on it! We had decided to keep lawyers and wasting money out of it but we were going to get our agreement legalized but hadn't at that point.

We both have crazy schedules with kids so I let her decide each week what days are best for her. First week goes well, second week I ask what days are best .. She tells me , I say no problem. She then says about an hour later we need to have agreement notarized, I agree.... 3 hours later she renigs on it all says I can't see my kid anymore. It's been 3 weeks now.

So yes I know I need to go lawyer route but wth dads get zero! Child support isn't the issue that's black & white .... But what she offered me for visitation custody was triple what lawyers say I will get right now for an infant plus she's breast fed.

Hell i just want to build a relationship and love my kid!

To me she drove me away with all of the negative from day 1 of pregnancy , but as a man , a dad .... Even despite all of that I feel like I abandoned her ... That I should've turned a blind eye to the negative ....

If anyone read this far or could follow that babble hats off to ya.... Not even sure if I'm looking for opinions mighta just needed to vent !

And save the grammar nazi or spelling bee champs because Its way too long so didn't even try to check or proof read lol