NFL Claims More Property

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After what was initially thought of as an attempt by the NFL to corner the local novelty and t-shirt market, the NFL has apparently set their ownership sights higher. Not satisfied with sending cease and desist letters to run out of business the Mom and Pop shops in a community that has suffered so much, including the supporting of the 43 years of a mostly losing NFL franchise, NFL Commissioner Roger Godohell has issued the NFL's newly formed policy regarding NFL property.

Said Godohell, “Yes, at first we wanted to own just the words Who and Dat, the colors black and gold and any symbol or drawing that resembles a Fleur de Lis. But once we realized we may actually get away with that, we knew we could have more. shite, we're greedy.”

With that in mind, the NFL is claiming ownership of not only the city of New Orleans, but the entire state of Louisiana and all contents held within. The paperwork has been sent into the federal trademark office which will rename the city to NFLorleans in the state of NFLiana. Parishes will now be known as Franchises and it doesn't stop there. Residents with the surnames of Hebert, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux have until February 6th to change their names. The usage of the colors black and gold have been banned permanently. Hewlett Packard is currently scrambling to re-ink their printer cartridges to abide by this change. Crawfish will now be known as Tasty NFL Bug Thingees. Gone are gumbo, pelicans, magnolia trees and the spelling “geaux”. Replacing them? Anything the NFL wants.

And for those that would circumvent these new ownership rules by creating new phrases and images, Godohell issued a warning.

“We know the people of NFLiana are creative, inventive and dedicated folks. We encourage – and hope – they spend their time, effort and hard work to come up with new catchy and profitable ideas. Because we will take them too.”

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