PELS V 6ers: No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again

SONS,

THE PELS, FOR THE PAST FEW SEASONS, HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY arse frickED. BE IT ROSTER MANAGEMENT, INJURIES, OLD WHITE PLAYERS GETTING WORSE THEN BEING TOTAL BITCHHOLES ABOUT IT ON THEIR LITTLE PODCASTS (frick YOU JJ WE WILL NEVER LET YOUR bullshite SLIDE YOU frickING CHARMIN BITCH), THE PELS HAVE HAD OPPORTUNITIES TO SUCCEED AND HAVE ROYALLY SHAT THE BED.

BUT THIS SEASON IS TOTALLY frickING DIFFERENT FROM THE LAST FEW FOR A FEW VERY SIMPLE REASONS: WE GOT RID OF LONZO BALL'S STANK arse GAME, AND WE GOT A YOUNG PLAYERS COACH.

OH GODDAMMIT GRIFF JUST EXTENDED JV. frickING HELL I'M GOING TO BE DRINKING SO HEAVILY TONIGHT. LETS START WITH JV I GUESS.

JV-ABOVE AVERAGE IN SEVERAL AREAS, SHOULD BE AN IMMEDIATE IMPROVEMENT OVER ADAMS, AND I AM TOLD HE WILL BASICALLY BE A MIX OF JOKIC AND SHAQ TYPE FOR US BASED OFF THE EXTENSION JESUS frickING CHRIST GRIFF. OK OK I'M OVERREACTING.

BI- BABY KD. NEED YOU TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP, I HOPE WILLY HAS FOUND A WAY TO GET YOU EASY SHOTS AND DANK EDIBLES FOR HALFTIME. STILL WAITING ON THAT POPEYES SPONSORSHIP.

NAJI- YOU AINT EVEN SUPPOSE TO BE HERE.

NAW- HEY BRO YOU GOTTA REPLACE ERIC BLEDSOE'S PRODUCTION. BIG frickING SHOES LOLOLOLOLOLOL. HIGH HOPES FOR NAW (CALM DOWN BI I SAID HIGH HOPES).

GRAHAM- LOOK MAN, WE HAVENT HAD A TRUE PG SINCE WASHED RONDO, WE TRIED TO FORCE JRUE TO DO IT AND HE CANT, AND THE GUY YOU'RE REPLACING BASICALLY HAS YOUR NUMBERS WITHOUT THE BENEFIT OF PLAYING WITH BI OR Z. AND YOU DONT HAVE A SHITTY FACEBOOK REALITY SHOW SO YOU'RE ALREADY WAY AHEAD OF THE frickING CURVE FROM THE LAST GUY. DONT frick IT UP.

JOSH HART- SON I AM SO frickING HAPPY YOU ARE HERE EVEN IF IT REMINDS ME OF MY FIRST SEX BUDDY. SHE WAS JUST INTO IT UNTIL SOMETHING BETTER CAME ALONG AND HEY ITS ALL GOOD LETS JUST ENJOY THE TIME WE DO SPEND TOGETHER.

TREY MURPHY- BRO IF YOU COULD JUST BE KLAY FOR US THAT'D BE GREAT.

KIRA- HEY YOU frickING MOVED YOUR HAIR OUT OF YOUR FACE!

JAX HAYES-BRO I AM SO READY FOR YOU TO MAKE THE NBA SUCK YOUR DICK. JUST MAYBE DONT STAY IN L.A. WHEN WE GO ON THE WEST COAST SWING.

ZION-TBA. YOUR FIRST GAME BACK WE'RE HAVING WORDS IN THAT GAME THREAD.

WE PLAY THE frickING 6ERS TONIGHT, A TEAM WITH CHAMPIONSHIP ASPERATIONS THAT CANT GET THEIR STAR PG TO EVEN BUY IN. GOOD THING THE PELS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT RIGHT? RIGHT? HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHACRIESINTOASTIFFWHISKEYDRINK.

THIS IS ALL ABOUT EMBIID VS JV AND JAX. IF EITHER OF THEM CAN SLOW HIM DOWN THE PELS SHOULD frickING ROLL THESE frickS. I LIKE NAW NOT HAVING TO DEAL WITH BEN AND NO ONE ON THAT TEAM CAN GUARD B.I. IF BRANDON REALLY WANTS TO TAKE THIS TEAM TO THE NEXT LEVEL HE NEEDS TO START WITH A STRONG EFFORT TONIGHT. SHOW THE NEW GUYS ON THE TEAM THEY CAN TRUST HIM TO GET THEM A BUCKET.

I AM SO frickING EXCITED TO SEE A PELS TEAM WITHOUT LONZO BALL AND A RETREAD HEAD COACH. FOR THAT WE SHOULD ALL GIVE PIERRE THANKS.

AND AS frickING ALWAYS SONS

WE FLAP
THEY LOSE

POBOYS W
CHEESESTEAKS L