re: "Country" music artists with the cheesiest lyrics

Cartman lands on top of country charts with new bro country album..

Boys round here - Blake Shelton

That song is audio suicide

Chase Rice

Compare all that crap to Kris's song from 40 years ago. Sunday Morning Coming Down.

Well I woke up Sunday mornin', with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more, for dessert
Then I fumbled through my closet, for my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt
And I shaved my face and combed my hair and, stumbled down the stairs to meet the day

I'd smoked my brain the night before on, cigarettes and songs that I'd been pickin'
But I lit my first and watched a small kid cussin' at a can, that he was kickin'
Then I crossed the empty street and caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken
And it took me back to somethin', that I'd lost somehow somewhere along the way

On the Sunday morning sidewalks, wishin' Lord, that I was stoned
'Cause there's something in a Sunday, makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin', half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks, Sunday mornin' comin' down

In the park I saw a daddy, with a laughing little girl who he was swingin'
And I stopped beside a Sunday school and listened to the song that they were singin'
Then I headed back for home and somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'
And it echoed through the canyons like the disappearing dreams of yesterday

On the Sunday morning sidewalks, wishin' Lord, that I was stoned
'Cause there's something in a Sunday, makes a body feel alone
And there's nothin' short of dyin', half as lonesome as the sound
On the sleepin' city side walks, Sunday mornin' comin' down

quote:

---

Boys round here - Blake Shelton

---

"Chew tobacca, chew tobacca, chew tobacca, spit."

The chew tobacco spit part does not capture the total putridness of the song in its entirety. It is pure penguin shite from beginning to end:

quote:

---

Red red red red red red red red redneck

Well the boys 'round here don't listen to The Beatles
Run ole Bocephus through a jukebox needle
At a honky-tonk, where their boots stomp
All night; what? (That's right)
Yeah, and what they call work, digging in the dirt
Gotta get it in the ground 'fore the rain come down
To get paid, to get the girl
In your 4 wheel drive (A country boy can survive)

Yeah the boys 'round here
Drinking that ice cold beer
Talkin' 'bout girls, talkin' 'bout trucks
Runnin' them red dirt roads out, kicking up dust
The boys 'round here
Sending up a prayer to the man upstairs
Backwoods legit, don't take no shite
Chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit

Aw heck
Red red red red red red red red red red redneck

Well the boys 'round here, they're keeping it country
Ain't a damn one know how to do the dougie
(You don't do the dougie?) No, not in Kentucky
But these girls 'round here yep, they still love me
Yeah, the girls 'round here, they all deserve a whistle
Shakin' that sugar, sweet as Dixie crystal
They like that y'all and southern drawl
And just can't help it cause they just keep fallin'

For the boys 'round here
Drinking that ice cold beer
Talkin' 'bout girls, talkin' 'bout trucks
Runnin' them red dirt roads out, kicking up dust
The boys 'round here
Sending up a prayer to the man upstairs
Backwoods legit, don't take no shite
Chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit

Let me hear you say
(Ooh let's ride)
Through the country side
(Ooh let's ride)
Down to the river side

(Ooh let's ride…)
Hey now girl, hop inside
Me and you gonna take a little ride to the river
Let's ride (That's right)
Lay a blanket on the ground
Kissing and the crickets is the only sound
We out of town (Let's ride)
Have you ever got down with a…
Red red red red red red red red red red redneck?
And do you wanna get down with a…
Red red red red red red red red red red redneck?
Girl you gotta get down

With the boys 'round here
Drinking that ice cold beer
Talkin' 'bout girls, talkin' 'bout trucks
Runnin' them red dirt roads out, kicking up dust
The boys 'round here
Sending up a prayer to the man upstairs
Backwoods legit, don't take no shite
Chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit

(Ooh let's ride)
Red red red red red red red red redneck
(Ooh let's ride)
I'm one of them boys 'round here
(Ooh let's ride)
Red red red red red red red red redneck
(Ooh let's ride)

---

"Good time" by Alan Jackson is pretty bad.