re: Tommy just sold half a million brake pads

You know, a lot of people go to college for 7 years.

I know. They're called doctors.

Brothers don't shake hands....brothers gotta hug.


I had this on my first iphone as the sound when my brother texted me for like two years.

Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside.

Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?

[chuckles until he sees that Ted is not laughing]
Ted Nelson, Customer: [impatiently] What's your point?

Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers gotta hug!

Yeah. they're called doctors

Shut up richard

What are we serving today, chicken or...chicken?

I take you to the vet

quote:

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Housekeeping


I do this every time I knock on a hotel room door

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Hotel? Hell, I've done it when I've knocked on more than a few regular doors too.

Your brain is covered in a thin candy shell