re: Movie quotes that make you laugh every time

"The Sheriff is near"

In Talladega Nights when Ricky just delivered the pizza to his dad on the bicycle, and he leaves.

"Nice bike you got there son, what is it, a Huffy?"

"I think he said the sheriff is near"

"Maybe you can put the ring in her arse and let her fart it out"

Del Preston:

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So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

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I found out this is where Hopalong Cassidy killed himself. Bow and arrow, very weird.

Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.

Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

You using the whole fist, Doc?

May I help you Doctor?
Oh, it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis.

He is actually six-five, with the afro, six-nine.

We're in kind of a gray area.
How gray?
Charcoal.

Do you own rubber gloves?
I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy.

Can I get you something?
Do you have the Beatles' White Album? Never mind, just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia while you're out there.

Ever seen a spleen that large?
No, not since breakfast.

I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich.

Aw, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course. It's all ball bearings nowadays.

John who?
John Cock... tos... ton.

Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
I don't know. I don't have any.
No children?
No elephant books.

What kind of a name is Poon?
Comanche Indian.

You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

What do you do for a living Mr. Fletch?
I'm a shepherd.
Why are you doing this, Mr. Fletch?
I like men. I like to be manhandled. I like you.

Christmas Vacation

Audrey: I hope no one I know passes and sees us out here in our pajamas.

Father in law: If they know your father they'll think nothing of it.

Just Friends when their in the bar at the beginning.
Amanda in back :Chris! Chris! Chris!
Chris: IM BUSY!!!
Amanda: IM BUSY, YOU STUPID DICK!

The scene in one of the Naked Gun movies when Priscilla Presley is up on the ladder in the library and Drebben is looking up her skirt and says:

Nice beaver!

She replies with, "Thanks, I just had it stuffed.", and hands him down a stuffed beaver.

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The scene in one of the Naked Gun movies

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That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar you moron, you killed five actors...good ones.