JJ Watt's "minimalist" log cabin

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"It's really minimalistic," he said. "There's no frills ... It's just an empty space and a log cabin and snow." You pictured a hovel on the taiga. A lean-to. Wind whistling between the rough-hewn and bark-clad logs. J.J. Watt waking, abundantly and ruggedly bearded, staggering outside in the predawn gloaming with a buffalo hide wrapped around his shoulders, chopping with numbed fingers wood to feed the fire keeping him alive

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That is a photo of J.J. Watt's offseason residence. It is not a photo of a minimalist log cabin.

We can bicker about the "log" part of "log cabin" all you like. This gigantic luxury home with a landscaped garden and circular driveway does, indeed, appear to be clad in a layer of wooden logs. It is not a cabin! It is not even a cottage. It might not even be a lodge! It is a friggin' log chalet. A log manse. A log compound. I've stayed in hotels humbler than that log alpine sex palace. That is a "minimalist" "log cabin" like Times Square is a "rustic" "crossroads."

J.J. Watt says his log manor lacks "frills." Let us look at some of the things J.J. Watt's log villa contains, and decide for ourselves whether they are minimalist amenities common to the rustic cabin experience, or frills.

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