re: DAT 4/16: Barves (Lopez) @ Astros (Brown) 7:10

Springer was called up 10 years ago today.

Man, what a time to be alive. Hard to believe that was 10 years ago

He was our #1 prospect for a while. 2019 #5 overall and #1 pitcher. Had a few injuries which prolonged his call-up

Sounds a lot like Forty Whitaker. Or Franklin Whatley. Francis Weekly?


Idk I've forgotten the name

White Sox fans are going through it

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Would love to see Yainer and Caratini with more time at 1B, but I know thats not happening. They can't be that much shittier defensively.

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Agreed, and I thought that was supposed to be part of Caratini's appeal. What's wild is that they brought Abreu in for Singleton as a defensive replacement

That's how worthless Singleton is. He serves no purpose on this roster. They'd be better off with retired Uncle Mike in his roster spot and I mean that literally.

Neither 1B serves any purpose honestly. One just earns exponentially more money than the other

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Astros called up Forrest Whitley

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Y'all can forget seeing him take the mound. I know EXACTLY how this plays out.

And, I mean, EXACTLY:

Farrish Wazlo will be on his way to Minute Maid Park in his 2015 Altima with the bangin sound system and faded & cracking Orange and Blue chrome wrap.

A 3-legged gerbil (coincidentally named Maldy), newly escaped from the grasp of a blind girl who is a resident at the "Brandon Backe Interdisciplinary School for Orphaned Orphans", will jump out in front of good ole Franklon Whastley making him swerve to the right where he will promptly pick up 2 thumbtacks that just fell off of an Amazon truck headed to Alex Bregman's house loaded down with freshly printed HEB posters featuring Alex in all of his favorite HEB commercials.

Forgot-his-name will pull over and attempt to change his flat. In the process of pulling his spare out of the trunk, a 15-pound barbell will fall out and hit him squarely on his little piggy on his left foot. In the process of squashing said piggy toe, his hopes of making the big leagues will also be squashed. Again.

I'm telling you, it will go down exactly like that.

Lol. Real talk I was sitting a few feet away from backe when the savannah bananas played at MMP in March. Dude looked like he could still play.

Half of Houston is wildcatters now. Ridiculous.

Who downvoted my synopsis of what will happen to ole Fivrest? Speak now -- do you not like Orphans, or are you against all that is sacred including Brandon Backe?