Dan Lebatard March Sadness tournament

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1- Doug Pederson looks like the only guest who swims in the local motel’s roadside pool

16- Colin Cowherd looks like the straw sun hat wearing beach goer, in a natural disaster movie, who mouths the words "oh cra-" and is then wiped away by a freak tsunami.

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2- Brett Gardner looks like the state trooper assigned to protect a college football coach during a game

15- Gregg Williams looks like your divorced uncle who brings a call girl to Thanksgiving

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3- Andy Reid looks like the small town sheriff that falls asleep while watching the prisoners, wakes up briefly to yell out “who’s there?!” to no one in particular, and immediately falls back asleep while the prisoners continue to carefully reach for the jail cell keys dangling from his belt.

14- Danny Ainge looks like a 6 AM tee time

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4- Colin Cowherd looks like the husband playing tennis with his wife in slow motion in a Cialis commercial.

13- Adam Silver looks like the guest bassoonist in the symphony that bows before the crowd just before he sits down to play Tchaikovsky's 4th

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5- Mark Schlereth looks like the guy who, when the waiter asks if he wants a side salad, scoffs and says “that’s the food my food eats” and orders a side of more steak.

12- Field Yates looks like the guy that really wants to get his college a cappella group back together.

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6- Andrew Luck looks like the guy standing silently at the whack-a-mole game after it has ended waiting for one more mole to pop up.

11- Gardner Minshew look like the guy at your local Subway that continuously tries to up sell you on the collectible NASCAR plastic cups that are only $1 more with the purchase of any cold cut combo or $5 footlong

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7- Dave Gettleman looks like he refers to the celery in his Bloody Mary as his "salad" for the day

10- Jake Arrieta looks like the guy who believes that if a dog weighs under 50 pounds, it's a cat, and cats are useless.

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8- Bill Plaschke looks like the over the top local car dealer reminding you that this Labor Day weekend he will be "Plashing" prices on all 2018 models!

9- Jeff Fisher looks like happy hour at Applebee's

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1-Gardner Minshew looks like Tampa’s leading cowboy-themed exotic dancer, Randy Rawhide, who can be booked for events big and small at 1-800-GetRandy

16- Adam Silver looks like a tee’d up golf ball

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2-Gardner Minshew sounds like the 14 seed that’s about to upset Georgetown in the first round of the NCAA tournament

15-Matt Patricia looks like the guy at the restaurant who orders the "Turf n' Turf"

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3-Dana Holgorsen looks like he eats other humans

14-Frank Reich looks like the guy riding a tandem bicycle with his significant other in an erectile dysfunction commercial

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4-Draymond Green looks like the biology student looking up from a microscope and smiling in a university brochure

13-Boomer Esiason looks like the concept art for the Simpsons

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5-Mike Leach looks like an unkempt wizard.

12-Pete Carroll looks like he keeps hugging long after the other person has let go

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6-Booger McFarland looks like the head of security at a run down casino west of the Mississippi

11-Jay Glazer looks like the ringmaster of a traveling, three-ring circus that is two weeks away from bankruptcy

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7-Jackie MacMullan looks like the elementary school librarian, who while reading the kindergarteners a story, licks the tip of her pointer finger before turning each page.

10-Ned Yost looks like the dad on Family Feud who gives the sexually-charged answer that has the audience in laughter and leaves his wife and children embarrassed.

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8-Bruce Pearl looks like he eats a baked potato like a taco.

9-Randy Johnson looks like he has a pool cue case made of snake skin.

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