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A damn strong article about youth sports, child abuse, and how kids truly learn

Posted on 3/16/16 at 10:32 pm
Posted by KosmoCramer
Member since Dec 2007
76519 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 10:32 pm
LINK

quote:

My father used to beat the shite out of me.
I don’t say that to be shocking, or to get your attention. I say that because it’s just a simple fact. He would throw punches. Not like he was hitting a small child — but like he was in a bar fight with a grown man. Whenever some people hear the phrase “child abuse,” it’s very hard for them to think about what’s really happening. They imagine discipline that gets out of hand once in a while, because it’s easier that way.

How many times have you heard someone say this?

“My parents used to give me the belt, and I turned out OK.”

So let me be really clear about what happened to me. From the moment I got my first pair of hockey skates at five years old, I got the living shite kicked out of me every single day. Every day after hockey, no matter how many goals I scored, he would hit me. The man was 6-foot-2, 250 lbs. It would start as soon as we got in the car, and sometimes right out in the parking lot.






quote:

He thought he was the reason I made it to the NHL. The ends justified the means.

That’s absolutely ridiculous. You know why I made it to the NHL?

Because on the weekends, I’d get as far away from him as I could. I would stay out of the house all day by myself, with nothing but a hockey stick and a ball. Deking, deking, deking. Shooting, shooting, shooting. Over and over and over until the stick became an extension of my body.

That’s it. That’s why I made it.

Once you get to the pro level and you witness how fast the game moves, you finally realize that no amount of running or weight lifting or private lessons is going to change one simple question: Do you understand hockey? Do you really understand the game? Do you know where that puck is going next?

Either you have it or you don’t. Screaming at your kid in the car on the way to a hockey game isn’t going to get them to the next level. Having a 12-year-old kid run six miles after practice isn’t going to turn them into Jonathan Toews.

You know when you actually get good at sports? When you’re having fun and being creative. When you’re being a kid. When you don’t even realize you’re getting better, that’s when you’re getting better. If you’re not engaged in what you’re doing, it’s as helpful as taking the trash out. It’s just another chore.
This post was edited on 3/16/16 at 10:33 pm
Posted by sms151t
Polos, Porsches, Ponies..PROBATION
Member since Aug 2009
139841 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 10:35 pm to
The Sheldon Kennedy Interviews may be the most disgusting thing I had heard from a players past.

I sometimes want to make the kids I work with listen to it but know that subject is untouchable in public schools
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103085 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 10:43 pm to
Seems like the dad did indirectly spit the kid on to make the NHL if for no other reason to spite him.
Posted by KosmoCramer
Member since Dec 2007
76519 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 10:45 pm to
quote:

Seems like the dad did indirectly spit the kid on to make the NHL if for no other reason to spite him.


Really?
Posted by East Coast Band
Member since Nov 2010
62795 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 10:52 pm to
I wonder if he'll support monetarily anything for his dad.
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
110870 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 11:00 pm to
quote:

“My parents used to give me the belt, and I turned out OK.”
I get that most at predispositioned to love and protect their parents at all costs, but that line is so annoying and shortsighted.
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
84896 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 11:08 pm to
I could have sworn this was posted here when it came out, but I can't seem to find it. Regardless, I'm glad it has showed up again. Great piece.
Posted by KosmoCramer
Member since Dec 2007
76519 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 11:10 pm to


Just read it for the first time today, but didn't search.
Posted by LittleRockHog501
Member since Nov 2011
2480 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 11:13 pm to
Probably the wrong board to make this statement but I had corporal punishment that was never ever near the level of being punched and continuously hit for no reason.



Also as much as my dad loved sports, competition and wanted me to do well he knew it had to be fun for me. and fun it was
This post was edited on 3/16/16 at 11:18 pm
Posted by McCringleberryy
Member since Dec 2012
4306 posts
Posted on 3/16/16 at 11:17 pm to
The Players Tribune has had some really great articles recently. The CC Sabathia article was a good read.
Posted by Weagle25
THE Football State.
Member since Oct 2011
46191 posts
Posted on 3/17/16 at 1:55 am to
quote:

quote:
“My parents used to give me the belt, and I turned out OK.”
I get that most at predispositioned to love and protect their parents at all costs, but that line is so annoying and shortsighted.

I don't think that line is really used when talking about child abuse. It's more used when there's an argument about whether you should hit your kid at all. There is a distinct difference between hitting your kid and abusing your kid.

My dad would never hit me when he was mad. If I did something that pissed him off and deserved a whooping, he would sit me down and make me wait while he took time to cool off which also gave me time to build up in my mind how much the whooping was going to hurt.
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
110870 posts
Posted on 3/17/16 at 11:25 am to
quote:

I don't think that line is really used when talking about child abuse. It's more used when there's an argument about whether you should hit your kid at all. There is a distinct difference between hitting your kid and abusing your kid.
I'm guessing many that use that line were abused, but rationalize it away as just being spanked.

Posted by tigerfootball10
Member since Sep 2005
9495 posts
Posted on 3/17/16 at 11:36 am to
quote:

My dad would never hit me when he was mad. If I did something that pissed him off and deserved a whooping, he would sit me down and make me wait while he took time to cool off which also gave me time to build up in my mind how much the whooping was going to hurt.

This
Posted by RandySavage
Member since May 2012
30844 posts
Posted on 3/17/16 at 1:15 pm to
quote:

I get that most at predispositioned to love and protect their parents at all costs, but that line is so annoying and shortsighted.


Not really, not when there are morons out there who equate spanking to child abuse.
Posted by BigEdLSU
All around the south
Member since Sep 2010
20268 posts
Posted on 3/17/16 at 1:19 pm to
I had a similar story, but it only lasted a few years. Used to get checked out of school to practice aka get beat

I'm a sports lover, but have no interest in that one anymore
This post was edited on 3/17/16 at 1:21 pm
Posted by slackster
Houston
Member since Mar 2009
84896 posts
Posted on 3/17/16 at 1:34 pm to
quote:

I'm guessing many that use that line were abused, but rationalize it away as just being spanked.


Many is a little strong if it implies the majority, and I don't think that is the case.

You're larger point is a good one though - people were abused and didn't know it until they see it as adults, but to acknowledge it was abuse now means it was also abuse then, and that is not a path people want to go down with their parents.

However, I'm not trying to imply that a belt whipping is automatically abuse.
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