What's the need for it?
If you don't truly see a value in a decentralized, inflation-free currency and a transaction network that allows you to exchange this currency nearly instantly, with low to no transaction fees, and with anonymity if you choose, then I don't know what to tell you.
The truth is that many people now see and will see great value in that.
I can't wrap my mind around how this shite just shows up out of nowhere after a "mining" session.
What don't you grasp? I will do my best to explain it to you.
If a bunch of made up currency showed up at my house, the US Secret Service would be knocking.
Alternate currencies are not illegal in general. They are only illegal if they seek to mimic the dollar or cause confusion in people in thinking that they are US dollars. Bitcoins could in no way be confused with US dollars. So why do you think that there would be secret service at your door?
Consider me crazy but I enjoy the fact that the central bank controls currency instead of a Pentium 3.
That's fine. I don't fault you for that. But many people think currency competition is a very good thing. The thing is, no one is forcing you or anyone else to use bitcoins. The option is available to you, though. What's wrong with that?