Aggie Jokes

How many aggies does it take to fix a flat?

One, unless its a blowout, then they all show up

How does an Aggie know when his sister is on the rag?


His dad's dick tastes like blood.

What's the difference between an Aggie and a Longhorn fan?



The only things that come out of Texas are steers and queers. Aggie fans like steers.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that's the last place you'll find a football player.

How many freshman aggies does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a sophomore course at A&M haha

A cowpoke in West Texas was herding longhorn cattle one day when he
heard faint music coming from nearby. After hunting about for a time, he
discovered the sound was loudest near one particular calf, and was
even louder near the calf's tail. Putting his head close to the calf's
hind end, he heard, "The eyes of Texas are upon you, all the live long day..."

Amazed, he tossed the longhorn calf over his horse's back, mounted
and rode quickly to his line shack 10 miles away. There he put the calf into
his truck and drove 74 miles to Ft. Stockton, where he took the animal to
a vet.

When the vet asked him what was going on, the cowpoke told him, and
the vet went around behind the calf and gave a listen, too. He agreed he
heard, "The eyes of Texas are upon you, you cannot get away..." but didn't seem
particularly excited.

"Man, how can you stand there and not be amazed?" the cowpoke asked.

The vet, a third generation Aggie, said, "Bud, I'm an Aggie, and I've
been listening to assholes sing the "Eyes of Texas" for years."

two texas a&m engineer students were given the assignment of measuring how tall the flag was at the top of kyle field. so, the both of them brought their tape measure to the top of the stadium to measure the flag. however, they kept sliding down the flag pole while trying to reach the top with the tape. Noticing this were two LSU students who yelled from the field "what the hell are you two idiots doing?" the aggies responded "trying to measure how tall the flag pole is". so the two lsu students said "why don't ya'll take it down, lay it on the ground, and measure it?" the aggies yelled "HE DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW HOW LONG IT IS DICKHEAD, HE WANTS TO KNOW HOW TALL IT IS". sheesh........

How do you get a Texas A&M Alumnus off of your porch?

You pay him for the pizza....

When Aggies marry:

The Aggies were playing Baylor. It was near the end of the game and Baylor was ahead by 4. Someone threw a firecracker and the Bears thought it was the gun and ran off the field celebrating.
Three plays later the Aggies scored and won!!