Wedding Planning - UPDATED

First time poster to the F&D Board. Recently engaged and starting to research venues and caterers. Knowing that weddings are a huge expense still doesn't help when you start pricing things out. Some details, then the question:

Details:
- We could invite up to 400 people; don't have to, but could
- Wedding will be early in the day: ~1:00-2:00pm on a Sat
- In my research so far, I've found several caterers that will provide food for about $30-$50 per person; booze for ~$20 per person.
- Venues in BR are $4,000-$6,000 for 3-4 hours average.

Questions:
- I know caterers work with custom menus and with an earlier reception should I still expect to pay $30-$50 for a "non-dinner" type reception (mostly food for picking and not the same as a ~7:00pm reception)?
- I've heard that, if pressed, a caterer will allow you to purchase your own booze and they just serve it for a "corking fee" or the sorts. Is this the norm, they just don't like doing it because they lose out on $20 per person? If I do $20 per person x ~200 people versus buying the booze myself and paying bartender(s), I save thousands.
- I'd like to be creative on the venue of the reception. I've checked out a lot of the "normal" places in BR. If the venue allows outside catering, then it's very expensive to rent. If the venue is cheap, they force you to use a specific caterer who is expensive. I feel like I'm in a vicious circle. Of course, size of the venue to accommodate possibly 400 people in January is tough. I'd like to not do an outside venue due to not trusting the weather to cooperate. Of course, we may reduce the number or invitees to make budget/venue work, but I'm in the early phase so haven't ruled out inviting the max. Any creative suggestions?

*Note: I've priced out the entire wedding and it ain't cheap - my estimate for everything is about $55k (all of the above, decorations, rehearsal dinner, church, licenses, etc...) for 400 people. However, I'd like to think we aren't pretentious brats and are putting together a classy but not even close to an over the top celebration. We'd like good food, good booze, good music, and a nice venue. These things don't have to be top dollar. We are dead set on having the wedding in BR, it just makes sense for our friends and family. We've also both lived here in BR for a very long time, so this is home.
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UPDATE:
I thought I was different....I thought I had enough experience to avoid the dramas of wedding planning. I am just like any dumb groom....

So the quick update is that we are spending way more money than anyone would imagine, despite finding many ways to host 350 people for well under $20k which included:
- Venue fee
- Band
- Food & Drink for 350ppl
- Decorations
- Transportation
- Etc...

BUT...bride and father did override my ideas and it is their money to spend.

For those looking, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on certain venues. But I will plug the Varsity. Brent was very accommodating and if you don't mind decorating, the Varsity is a great place to have a reception...or a party for that matter! Extremely reasonable prices and very flexible. AND Chimes only caters for events at the Varsity and they are extremely reasonable and flexible also.

All-in-all, I got overridden for the Varsity and we're going to another very nice venue. I'll keep that to myself so you crazies don't show up.