FML!!! I'm hurting. The pants are a little snug this morning.

I worked on Christmas Eve and left at lunch. I met a friend for for some sushi. I then went to Lafitte's to give some gifts to the bartenders and grab a Beam.

After cocktails, I went to the little lady's family's place for their annual Christmas Eve party. It's just her immediate family and involves a lot of drinking. I drank so much, I forgot what type of bourbon I was consuming. The food was delicious.

I brought a stuffed artichoke and artichoke balls. The artichoke was a little salty, and I let my grandmother know. She said she used a different type of cheese this time, and thought that may have been the difference since she doesn't add salt. I still love her.

I think I ate at least 20 balls over the past two days.

The ladies of the family meet a week before Christmas to make meatballs for their Italian meatball soup. It's similar to wedding soup. I throw a little parmesan on top and lick the bowl dry.

They had a nice looking ham, but I don't eat ham.

However, I did devour some macaroni and cheese and baked oysters.

My favorite thing I ate that night was this tomato and leek tart. My god, that thing made me feel like a little girl at a dance reception. I can't wait to get the recipe.

After opening gifts and drinking more bourbon, I passed the frick out while visions of lollipops danced through my head.

I awoke early to head to Christmas mass. It was not very crowded. I assume people were still opening gifts with their kids. I was nursing a little hangover.

After mass, I ran to my parents for lunch. She cooked a turkey, baked macaroni, candied yams and salad. We were in a rush so I didn't take pics. They needed to get to my grandmother's. The food was good, but I got into a slight argument with my mother about throwing the carcass away. Who the frick does that?

After the hangover subsided, I returned to the little lady's place for another party. The entire neighborhood shows up and there's plenty of food to go around.

Before eating, I needed to work on my drink. I grabbed some Jefferson's Ocean bourbon. This stuff was legit and very smooth. The bottle had me when I noticed it was "aged at sea."

After a few drinks, I started walking around the food to see what I wanted. I enjoyed these little crawfish pastries.

And of course, you know I ate some more artichoke balls.

They had plenty of protein, including a brined turkey, stuffed chickens, beef tenderloin, and lamb.

The turkey and stuffed chickens were my favorite. The chickens were from the Gourmet Butcher Block and stuffed with brocoli and cheese. I wish I had brought the leftovers for lunch. The spices were perfect.

The turkey was the best brined turkey I have had. It was also extremely moist. Kudos to whomever made it.

The steak was full of flavor, but it was cooked too much for my liking. The goat was extremely dry, and all the jelly in the world couldn't help it. Good try, good effort.

The sides consisted of corn casserole, cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes, carrot souffle, green beans, asparagus casserole, creamed spinach

They were all outstanding. I was very impressed with these croissants they purchased from QVC. They were made in France. They were flaky and buttery.

The desserts included cheesecake, lemon icebox pie, brownies, a couple other pies, and a Kringle from my buddy in Milwaukee. The cheesecake is by far my favorite. I don't know what her secret is, but I wouldn't be lying if I said I would attempt to eat the whole thing and not feel guilty.

I hope all had a very Merry Christmas.

Stay fat, my friends.

-Arse