Arse's Fatty Rewind: Milwaukee, WI (updated with rehosted images)

First things, first. I wasn't arrested. It was all a misunderstanding about Green Bay fireworks law, and my phone was out of power. My friend who witnessed the incident assumed I was in jail, since my phone was going directly to voicemail. I discovered I had been "arrested" from calls from my mom, the lady next to me at mass and the little lady before 9:30. The power of Tigerdroppings is impressive.

Why in the world would they sell fireworks at every gas station, if you can't set them off?


My nerves were raging on Friday morning. It was a day before LSU's first game and I was about to frick up the keto diet. I left the house at 4 am for my flight. Once I was seated for the first leg of the flight, i ordered the first Beam of the morning.


The next flight of the trip would get fun. The stewardess kept feeding us drinks. Four free Beams during a two hour flight sent the mood for the day. It was time to unload.


I left the lady my business card in case she wanted to meet up in Nola.


When we arrived in Milwaukee, we needed to wait for a few friends. We hit up the Miller bar. While they drank beer, I kept pounding the double Beams.


We unpacked and headed to a spot called Calderone Club. It was suggested by a local who frequents Lafitte's with me. I knew it would be good when this lovely face of a dago smoking a cigarette greeted me at the front entrance with my drink.


I ordered for the table. We went toasted ravioli, calamari, three pies, and two spicy penne sausage. Everything was delicious. The pasta was ridiculous. It was very fresh and spicy. While we ate, Gino kept the booze coming.








For dessert, Gino brought us some shots. I think he's an LSU fan.


We then walked around looking for drinks and the Lakefront Brewing Company. The weather was very nice at around 70 degrees. I decided to Uber instead of walk.


At our destination, we ordered a shite ton of beers. But I found it interesting that people who had just finished the tours were giving us their free beer tokens. More money for us! I didn't enjoy the beer.



Finally around 4, they were allowed to sell me some Jameson. They were allowed to sell it because they began selling food. Everyone from Milwaukee told me to try the fish fry from the brewery. I should not have listened. That shite was awful and bland. I guess if God gives you cod, you eat terrible fish fry.


From there, I went to Mader's. It's a traditional German braus house. My buddies shared huge beers, while I kept the Beam flowing. While we were there, I decided we should snack of some local brats. I ordered 3, and they were delicious.




We then walked down the street to Brass Alley to meet more Tigers and enjoy the Abita. I stuck with my Beam. I also ordered some jambalaya. I think it was more like risotto, since it was very moist. It had a good heat, but it just wasn't right. Maybe it needed tomatoes.



After I was done there, I wanted to eat some good meat. The other athlete in the group and I headed to Carson's. I ordered a martini, a huge pork chop and baked macaroni. All were good, and I was feeling no pain.