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Conjoining your account with your siginificant other
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:32 am
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:32 am
Morning Money Board:
I will be married for the first time in the next 6 months. Fiancée and I were talking about finances and conjoining bank accounts. Realistically, we are talking about savings accounts as of now for things like a down payment on a house in the future, bills, etc. We both are making good money at our age and are saving extremely well. I am not sure about the process of conjoining accounts and what to expect, things like that.
In anyones opinion, what is the best way to go about this? Any advice would help. TIA
I will be married for the first time in the next 6 months. Fiancée and I were talking about finances and conjoining bank accounts. Realistically, we are talking about savings accounts as of now for things like a down payment on a house in the future, bills, etc. We both are making good money at our age and are saving extremely well. I am not sure about the process of conjoining accounts and what to expect, things like that.
In anyones opinion, what is the best way to go about this? Any advice would help. TIA
29
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:35 am to atrain5
Don't do it...
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:36 am to atrain5
i did it and it makes things way easier imo. but you need to both be on the same page about what you are doing with money, or you are going to have a bad time.
but if you can make it work, it makes things so easy
but if you can make it work, it makes things so easy
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:36 am to atrain5
most divorces happen because of finances... joining accounts IMO is the start of that. What me an my wife do is, we have a joint account and we both deposit a percentage of our earning into that account and all bills are paid out of that account. The percentages were discussed and negotiated based on each of our income.
and for anyone thinking OMG, you are getting married, you shouldnt have to do that....
You do not understand what the data shows.
and for anyone thinking OMG, you are getting married, you shouldnt have to do that....
You do not understand what the data shows. This post was edited on 11/16/21 at 10:37 am
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:42 am to CarRamrod
quote:
we have a joint account and we both deposit a percentage of our earning into that account and all bills are paid out of that account.
That is the basis of what we are thinking about doing. We would each start by putting about half of our respective savings accounts into the joint account while each still having our own savings accounts. We will each direct deposit a portion of each of our paychecks into that account with the rest going into our own accounts.
This post was edited on 11/16/21 at 10:46 am
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:50 am to atrain5
To each their own. We have joint accounts where incomes come in and separate accounts as well for spending.
Evreything out of the joints is automatic transfers. Then we each spend put of our separate accounts.
Works for us.
Evreything out of the joints is automatic transfers. Then we each spend put of our separate accounts.
Works for us.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:51 am to atrain5
Finance is the #1 cause of divorce. I believe separate accounts is the #1 driver of that. it is hard to hold each other accountable when you have no idea what the other person is doing. Everything in a marriage is equally owned by both. Starting with a joint savings is a good first step.
I wouldn't conjoin anything. I would open a new joint account. Should be quick and easy and you can do it completely online.
I wouldn't conjoin anything. I would open a new joint account. Should be quick and easy and you can do it completely online.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 10:53 am to atrain5
Opening a shared account that you both contribute to for bills is perfectly fine. Contribute to that account according to income and it's fair and allows both parties to manage their own entertainment and other value judged spending. (i.e. how much value do you place on a nice vehicle vs. how much value do they place on a 43rd pair of shoes).
Do not fully join finances.
Do not fully join finances.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 11:01 am to atrain5
Wife and I opened new joint accounts to add a percentage of income…weight based on percentage of total take home pay…to cover all expenses & planned savings. These are updated at least annually for new budget, and whenever there is a change in salaries.
This was discussed as nausea when first setup and in the first year, now wife doesn’t even think twice about it based on the methodology used
We also added each other on the others accounts in the event of death.
This was discussed as nausea when first setup and in the first year, now wife doesn’t even think twice about it based on the methodology used
We also added each other on the others accounts in the event of death.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 11:06 am to atrain5
Wife and I took a look at average monthly expenses, including retirement savings (investing) goals, and just divided everything up based on % of income.
This way I don’t know or care about the cost of hair appointments and Amazon packages showing up at the door, and she doesn’t care about what it costs for me to play golf every weekend.
One thing I know is that statistics on divorces played zero into our decision. General population divorce statistics do not apply to my wife and I. They are irrelevant and we do not make any decisions based on this.
This way I don’t know or care about the cost of hair appointments and Amazon packages showing up at the door, and she doesn’t care about what it costs for me to play golf every weekend.
One thing I know is that statistics on divorces played zero into our decision. General population divorce statistics do not apply to my wife and I. They are irrelevant and we do not make any decisions based on this.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 11:10 am to BRIllini07
Do what works for you and your spouse. I'm sure this post will be filled with opinions but everyone comes from different financial backgrounds and so do their spouses.
The hard line "do not" and "divorce will come if you don't" comes from a persons individual experience.
I personally combined my accounts with my spouse and we have had zero issues, I look at it as means of checks and balances. I'm told all the time I cant buy a boat...
The hard line "do not" and "divorce will come if you don't" comes from a persons individual experience.
I personally combined my accounts with my spouse and we have had zero issues, I look at it as means of checks and balances. I'm told all the time I cant buy a boat...
Posted on 11/16/21 at 11:12 am to PhiTiger1764
quote:We used to do that, but I don't even care anymore. If she wants to do whatever, fine with me and vice versa. I trust her. We also don't really do much as far as buy crazy un-needed shite like a new car every 3 years, etc.
Wife and I took a look at average monthly expenses, including retirement savings (investing) goals, and just divided everything up based on % of income.
Financial divorce happens due to a lack of trust...it's not money that's the issue IMO
Posted on 11/16/21 at 11:34 am to atrain5
We have everything combined without any issues
Posted on 11/16/21 at 11:50 am to atrain5
When my wife I got married, we opened a joint checking and savings account together. I never understood how people could have separate accounts and decide who pays for what. Seems like it would always be a constant "I paid for this, you need to pay for that" but I know people do it everyday. I see couples on my venmo stream all the time paying each other for groceries or half of daycare, etc... Seems like a lot of extra work. Marriage is hard enough without adding extra tension. To each there own though.
Reading some of the comments above, putting a percentage of each salary in a savings or checking account to pay mutual bills does seems like the second best option. If you can make it work.
Best of luck on your marriage!
Reading some of the comments above, putting a percentage of each salary in a savings or checking account to pay mutual bills does seems like the second best option. If you can make it work.
Best of luck on your marriage!
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:05 pm to atrain5
Don’t. Me and my fiancé already agreed to keep accounts separate. We are considering going into our own business (farm) together and the business acct would be joint.
But otherwise we keep separate accounts, we split bills and necessary home expenses. What’s left is ours to do what we please so there is no arguing over what we buy. I can’t bitch about her buying shoes and she can’t bitch about me buying a gun or a boat or whatever. We both have our own retirement/investment accounts.
But otherwise we keep separate accounts, we split bills and necessary home expenses. What’s left is ours to do what we please so there is no arguing over what we buy. I can’t bitch about her buying shoes and she can’t bitch about me buying a gun or a boat or whatever. We both have our own retirement/investment accounts.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:07 pm to atrain5
quote:
That is the basis of what we are thinking about doing. We would each start by putting about half of our respective savings accounts into the joint account while each still having our own savings accounts. We will each direct deposit a portion of each of our paychecks into that account with the rest going into our own accounts.
We keep certain bills in my name and some in hers. When the bill is due we stick it on the fridge and the person who doesn’t have the bill on their bank acct just uses Venmo and send the other their half.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:13 pm to CarRamrod
quote:
and for anyone thinking OMG, you are getting married, you shouldnt have to do that.... You do not understand what the data shows.
This is not the OT. I suspect many on here have not joined accounts. People are different in the ways they handle money. One spouse may need to know every penny at all times and another may just check online account every couple of days to get a general idea. Both may be saving and meeting long term goals, but handle money differently. I would not join my accounts, but to each their own. That way she can spend money any way she wants and I would not care unless she was unable to cover her portion of bills. I would presumably be able to do the same.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:23 pm to atrain5
We have joint checking for most all bills, and separate CC’s for personal spending. I used to have a separate checking acct for business expenses, but only because many of the places I went didn’t take CC’s.
Of course, this only works if you’re responsible enough to spend what you can afford to pay off, so it’s not for everyone.
Of course, this only works if you’re responsible enough to spend what you can afford to pay off, so it’s not for everyone.
Posted on 11/16/21 at 12:33 pm to atrain5
We have joint accounts and credit cards. Works for us just fine. My wife wants nothing to do with managing the household finances. Neither of us are big spenders, so it's very easy. YMMV.
As far as the process, we just went down to the bank one day and signed her up on my account, then we transferred the money out of her old account at another bank and closed it out. Stupid easy.
As far as the process, we just went down to the bank one day and signed her up on my account, then we transferred the money out of her old account at another bank and closed it out. Stupid easy.
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