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re: Dealing with death of a parent
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:18 am to lsunurse
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:18 am to lsunurse
The “firsts” will be difficult. Like the first Thanksgiving, first Christmas without is really hard, no doubt. But even after that, accomplishments in my kid’s lives, I often think about what my dad would think. He died March of 2016.
While I still miss my dad greatly, I look back fondly at lots of “little things” he used to say or do and find myself smiling or laughing out loud. It does come with some sadness and pain, but it’s good to do so. It keeps their memory alive in a place it needs to be kept alive the most…in your heart.
While I still miss my dad greatly, I look back fondly at lots of “little things” he used to say or do and find myself smiling or laughing out loud. It does come with some sadness and pain, but it’s good to do so. It keeps their memory alive in a place it needs to be kept alive the most…in your heart.
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Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:20 am to tiger91
both mine are 75 and in good health and I give thanks every day for that. I’m so fortunate
they are about to finally move away from shithole BR and I could not be happier for them. Obviously I won’t see them as much but they’ve given me and my siblings more than we likely deserve
they are about to finally move away from shithole BR and I could not be happier for them. Obviously I won’t see them as much but they’ve given me and my siblings more than we likely deserve
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:21 am to tiger91
quote:
Hoping no big things happen.
Their ac went out yesterday evening. Had to drive over there and confirm it’s not working and go put them up in a hotel. They have a home warranty so I placed request but who knows when they will come out. My bf just had his ac go out and they were so backlogged with service requests…..took 10 days before someone could come out. No ac this time of year here is an emergency
This post was edited on 8/22/21 at 11:22 am
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:22 am to lsunurse
My Dad passed away in 1995 and I still think about him. It gets easier as time passes and you don’t get that punched in the gut feeling like when it first happens.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:22 am to lsunurse
I posted a reply to you in the LNST at 3:00 this morning (God knows why I was up at that time). But I said that the "firsts" that occur in the year following the death of a loved one are difficult. I do not have any real advice as to how to make it better. My thought is that you need to find comfort on knowing your Dad is in a better place and free from pain. And, if my Faith is fact, you will see him again in Paradise.
Best to you, Nurse.
Best to you, Nurse.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:22 am to lsunurse
My mom passed away almost 3 years ago from brain cancer. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real that she’s gone. It sucks. You’ll have days of being ok and days that just rip you apart. Sometimes I just take time to go through photos, videos, listen to old voicemails….it hurts, but that’s my process. There is no timeline really. I’m sorry for your loss.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:29 am to GeauxDouble
quote:
just take time to go through photos, videos, listen to old voicemails….it hurts, but that’s my process.
The only video I have of me and him….was him walking me on my wedding day. Considering I also just went through a bad divorce beginning of the year…don’t know if it will help to watch. I def still will keep the video cause at least I have that once happy moment for my dad forever to watch later on.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:30 am to lsunurse
Took quite a while to get over the sadness and constant feeling of loss after losing my mother to cancer. She was an amazing woman that I appreciated greatly, but after she's gone I can see I never appreciated her enough. She fought hard for almost two years and looked great for most of that time with an amazing, infectious positive attitude, but at the end she deteriorated quickly. Even in death she was graceful and appreciative to those who were helping her.
That was just over a year ago, followed shortly thereafter by separation from my alcoholic ex-wife and a divorce that was just finalized. That put me in a bad place for a while, but I'm German and we love misery anyway. I'll admit I still got a little teary-eyed just now typing that about my mother, but I tend to remember the beautiful and wonderful things about her now, and I'm not sad about her very often.
That was just over a year ago, followed shortly thereafter by separation from my alcoholic ex-wife and a divorce that was just finalized. That put me in a bad place for a while, but I'm German and we love misery anyway. I'll admit I still got a little teary-eyed just now typing that about my mother, but I tend to remember the beautiful and wonderful things about her now, and I'm not sad about her very often.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:33 am to lsunurse
quote:
How have others coped with this? When does is truly get to where you just don’t all of a sudden get punched in the face with the grief? A year? 2 years?
3 months is a short period of time, I would allow at least 6 months before I even thought twice about wondering if this is normal.
My mom and dad have been gone now 26 and 28 years respectively, and I think about them daily, and think of the good memories I have of them. I think that's quite normal for those who had loving, supportive parents.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:37 am to lsunurse
quote:No idea Nursie. It’s still too fresh as I hope to finish his eulogy this afternoon.
How have others coped with this?
I’m sure it will take a lot of time to not be so painful.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:38 am to lsunurse
I go to their grave and bring flowers. I also have their names honored in the church bulletin. Very sorry for your loss.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:39 am to lsunurse
7 years since my dad died and it still hits me hard every now and then. 3 years since my mom died and it hits me more frequently.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:39 am to lsunurse
Oh I feel you. I was pretty upset. Would randomly think about him in the shower, or if I was driving. The hard part was thinking Oh I'll call him for something and then remembered I couldn't. It does get better I promise. Time heals. It really does.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:41 am to lsunurse
quote:God bless you and his sweet soul. He sounds me exactly of my Mom before she passed. It’s been 7 years since she died and the sadness and pain has definitely lessened. Time really is key here.
I’ve posted about his mental illness (severe debilitating anxiety) struggles on here and I know he is finally at peace and know his illness is no longer tormenting him every moment like it was when he was alive. And that brings me some peace
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:42 am to Bullfrog
I’m so sorry Frog. I know I walked around in a blur of sorts the first week after my dad passed.
We still haven’t done anything for his death. He wanted to be cremated and my parents had burial plots in BR so eventually we will bring him back to BR and bury his urn in his plot. I know he would want that, as much as he missed BR.
You will find the right words to express what an amazing man your father was. What you wrote about him the other day here in the GMT …I think made all of us realize that you had quite the father.
We still haven’t done anything for his death. He wanted to be cremated and my parents had burial plots in BR so eventually we will bring him back to BR and bury his urn in his plot. I know he would want that, as much as he missed BR.
You will find the right words to express what an amazing man your father was. What you wrote about him the other day here in the GMT …I think made all of us realize that you had quite the father.
This post was edited on 8/22/21 at 11:43 am
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:43 am to lsunurse
It doesn’t necessarily get easier. You get used to it. Not sure if that makes sense, but that’s my experience.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:45 am to Bullfrog
I'm sorry, Frog. I'll say a prayer that you and yours are given the strength and comfort to get though this time.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:47 am to lsunurse
I developed PTSD about it and haven't really properly processed it. The events immediately preceding and succeeding the death were intense in a way I can't explain and didn't comprehend at the time.
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:47 am to lsunurse
Thanks Nurse, Iona 
Posted on 8/22/21 at 11:48 am to lsunurse
Prayers for your family nurse. I know you dad isn't suffering any more.
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