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Message
re: No Kids Krewe - Assemble Inside
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:53 am to TH03
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:53 am to TH03
quote:
We want kids but not right now.
I highly highly suggest any couple in their 30s that thinks this to at least get their fertility status checked out at a fertility clinic. That way you at least know if there is something that will be an obstacle later on. Once you have to resort to fertility treatments....the odds get stacked against you the older the woman is.
Let my experience be a cautionary tale to others. I wish I would have done the same thing when I first got married. Would have changed a lot of decisions we made then.
In a few months I’ll either be finally pregnant after 5 years of trying or forever done with trying for a child. When I was 30 I would have never guessed this is where I would be at 40.
Don’t take your fertility for granted.
0
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:53 am to lsucoonass
quote:
I do wonder if there are brain structural differences
brain chemistry, genetics, environment, etc all play parts in our decision making
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:55 am to rocket31
quote:
just trying to save as many men from the plantation as possible
You mean ensuring other bloodlines conquer us and your lineage comes to a stop?
For shame. You are a genetic failure
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:56 am to rocket31
True
Posted on 1/23/19 at 10:03 am to rocket31
I'm in but not super willing or happy.
Kids need stability and grounded home life. If you can't provide that then you shouldn't have them. Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to provide it.
Also, the chances of having a retarded child who needs 24/7 care for 35 years sounds like a nightmare.
Kids need stability and grounded home life. If you can't provide that then you shouldn't have them. Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to provide it.
Also, the chances of having a retarded child who needs 24/7 care for 35 years sounds like a nightmare.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 10:35 am to Chuker
quote:
Also, the chances of having a retarded child who needs 24/7 care for 35 years sounds like a nightmare
Dude.
I have a good friend with a child with Down’s syndrome. That is real love to raise a child like that. I don’t know how I could handle it.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 10:41 am to rocket31
I don't have kids. I really enjoy children, but I am not interested in that level of responsibility.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 10:44 am to CunningLinguist
quote:
I have a good friend with a child with Down’s syndrome. That is real love to raise a child like that. I don’t know how I could handle it.
I know three parents with special needs children. All three are autistic. They are in various levels of difficult parenting.
One kid has to wear headphones to school everyday to mute out noises. Teachers then wear a mic and talk to him. Kid is smart so he will be OKish as an adult. Yikes.
Another one is goign to likely require constant care for his entire life.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 1:46 pm to brian_wilson
Yeah that’s why Autism is now referred to ASD, spectrum of difference
Posted on 1/23/19 at 1:49 pm to tigerinthebueche
quote:I am glad you are ok with your mental illness. Much like being a trans is a mental illness for going agaisnt basic biology, choosing willingly not to procreate against basic human biology is also a mental illness
They found fulfillment and satisfaction on the path they chose. I have too
I am glad we are finally opening up about this here on tigerdroppings. Its time we no longer bury our heads in the sand as Americans as it relates to mental illness
Posted on 1/23/19 at 2:19 pm to rocket31
quote:
has this thread ever been started?
wtf
It has been a topic of discussion on here before, yes. It's not a frequent flyer like tipping, wallets, or watches, but it's not a new topic.
My point wasn't about the topic itself. I was wondering why someone who doesn't have kids is posting a thread about how great his childless life is.
1. You don't have the experience of having kids to compare your life to.
2. If your life is so great not having kids, why did you make a thread about not having kids? It seems more like a topic you would not necessarily even discuss, much less, start the discussion on.
Now having said that, I am not doubting your life is great or saying you're wrong and should have kids. There are many ways to live a great, happy life.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 2:39 pm to rocket31
My question is: am I supposed to automatically want kids? I certainly dont have that urge. Girlfriend doesnt want kids now but will want them eventually. I feel like having kids would be "nice" I suppose, but I cant quite grasp the nirvana type, lovey-dove feeling that people seem to get from having kids. Does that feeling just appear once the kids are born or what?
Posted on 1/23/19 at 2:43 pm to lsupride87
quote:
I am glad you are ok with your mental illness. Much like being a trans is a mental illness for going agaisnt basic biology, choosing willingly not to procreate against basic human biology is also a mental illness
I am glad we are finally opening up about this here on tigerdroppings. Its time we no longer bury our heads in the sand as Americans as it relates to mental illness
typical smarmy attitude of an a-hole parent who considers himself/herself superior to others because they had a kid(s).
some of us choose not to have kids because we accept our selfish nature and realize we'd suck at it. Some simply can't conceive or hold a pregnancy. . "Hers was a rocky ground where my seed could find no purchase".
either way, yours is the exact reason threads like this get started. You're apparently so impressed with such a "basic" act of human biology that you feel others are inferior or "ill".
Your kids are gonna be some fricked up if they aren't already.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 2:47 pm to Chuker
quote:
lso, the chances of having a retarded child who needs 24/7 care for 35 years sounds like a nightmare.
Yea I specialize in therapy for children with Autism.... having a severely Autistic kid that I could never take my eyes off for a second for their entire life is one of my biggest fears. What these parents have to do is nothing short of incredible.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 2:48 pm to tigerinthebueche
quote:I dont at all, just like I dont consider myself above a trans person
typical smarmy attitude of an a-hole parent who considers himself/herself superior to others because they had a kid(s).
quote:Why? For teaching them going against basic human biology is a mental illness? I dint say you were bad people
Your kids are gonna be some fricked up if they aren't already.
I love you and Kaitlin my friend
Posted on 1/23/19 at 3:04 pm to Steadyhands
quote:
If your life is so great not having kids, why did you make a thread about not having kids? It seems more like a topic you would not necessarily even discuss, much less, start the discussion on.
Probably because us "childless" folks are constantly judged by those with children, and we can't really say what we want to those who ask us about it because they'd most definitely get butthurt. I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have been asked when we are going to have kids. Would it be "okay" if I asked my friends who have kids, why they chose to have kids (especially when they did)?
I'm not in the forever without kids group, but I'm 31 years old and probably won't try to have kids for a another couple/few years.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 3:05 pm to lsupride87
Parents are evil.
Random chemical reaction that repeats itself over time becomes conscious and then continues the same mindless repetition. Dumb.
Or, you bring a child into this world. God exists and has determined everything the child will do and every choice it will make. Meaning you've created an automaton that potentially was born to go to hell. You are a horrible person for foisting that onto another conscious being because you couldn't keep it in your pants (because choice is an illusion). Miserable robot.
Or, you bring a child into this world. God exists and every choice and action is scrutinized and weighed with the slim chance that your child finds the right buttons to push to make it into heaven. You have foisted upon another conscious being the same anxiety that you have had to live with your entire existence. Selfish.
Random chemical reaction that repeats itself over time becomes conscious and then continues the same mindless repetition. Dumb.
Or, you bring a child into this world. God exists and has determined everything the child will do and every choice it will make. Meaning you've created an automaton that potentially was born to go to hell. You are a horrible person for foisting that onto another conscious being because you couldn't keep it in your pants (because choice is an illusion). Miserable robot.
Or, you bring a child into this world. God exists and every choice and action is scrutinized and weighed with the slim chance that your child finds the right buttons to push to make it into heaven. You have foisted upon another conscious being the same anxiety that you have had to live with your entire existence. Selfish.
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:06 pm to X123F45
Even without kids that sounds horrible
Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:20 pm to rocket31
quote:
baws with beer guts who work on oil rigs dont have legacies either dude.
I don't work on an oil rig, and I don't have a beer gut, but I disagree that they don't necessarily have legacies.
quote:
children are not a legacy, its your ideas and knowledge that are passed down that society will consider valuable. for example, no one cares about shakespeares crotch spawn its his works and mind that are shared around the world.
Oh Jesus. Very few of us are Shakespeares. And that includes the vast majority of you DINKs that churn away in a cube all day. I'd put more value in sharing beliefs, mores and values with kids than in social media posts and W-2s that remain on file with your employer. Posted on 1/23/19 at 9:22 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Probably because us "childless" folks are constantly judged by those with children,
Nah, but you are overly sensitive. I don't think you're judged per se, it's just that so many of you engage in moral preening and act as if not having kids is some significant, virtuous act to be celebrated.
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