re: Why don't we see original films like Armageddon anymore?

“Bruce Willis is the best deep-core driller? I didn’t know they rated deep-core drillers. You know what I mean? Like, if you went around and asked somebody, ‘Who’s the best deep-core driller?’ How do you know? Who keeps track of these things?”

I asked Michael why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers and he told me to shut the f**k up. So that was the end of that talk. [Does Michael Bay voice] “You know, Ben, just shut up, OK? You know, this is a real plan.” I was like, “You mean it’s a real plan at NASA to train oil drillers?” and he was like, “Just shut your mouth!” See, here’s where we demonstrate that, because Bruce is gonna tell the guys that they did a bad job of building the drill tank. [With extreme sarcasm] See, he’s a salt-of-the-earth guy and the NASA NERDONAUTS don’t understand, uh, his salt-of-the-earth ways, his rough-and-tumble ways. [Just straight up laughing now] Like somehow they can build ROCKET SHIPS but don’t understand what makes a good tranny. Eight whole months? As if that’s not enough time to learn how to drill a hole, but in a week we’re gonna learn how to be astronauts? [Impersonating Willis’s character, Harry Stamper] “Oh one whole week? We’re gonna learn how to fly into space? I need my guys.” Why do you need ’em? “They’re the best.” Everyone’s the best. Why are they the best? “I don’t know, they just are.” I mean, this is a little bit of a logic stretch, let’s face it. They don’t know jack about drilling? How hard can it be? Aim the drill at the ground and turn it on.

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