re: Being There For A Parent That Abandoned You And Has Been A Source Of Pain Your Entire Life

Not quite the same but my father left my mother after 1.5 years married -- and she was almost 5 months pregnant.

He did his "obligation" and paid child support and I'd visit a week during the summer and a weekend here and there when I was younger. That's it -- no real true relationship by any stretch. In fact I'm 48 and don't even address him at all really -- not by "daddy" and not even by his first name.

I avoid him at all costs just as he avoided me as it's just stressful for me and have to take Xanax on the rare occasion when I do agree to see him. Well, he's moving at some point to my area -- I am trying to nicely figure out a way for me to say "NO" when he wants to get together at holdiays or whatever, if he indeed tries at all.

I often wonder how I'll feel when he dies -- but never once did I think about having to take care of him. Good Lord, something else to obsess over.

The RIGHT thing is to help a parent -- many times things are much easier said than done. Right doesn't equal easy.