quote:
You know, for most people, that may be the right way to look at it, and may still be right here, but she waited until he was a grown man to even consider making contact. His adoptive parents stood in the way, even though he should have been able to make his own decision.

Problem with this: As you say, what if he doesn't even know he is adopted?

What if his parents spent the work of a lifetime to keep him from that. To keep him from being tormented at night wondering why his "real" mom didn't want him?

Or what if they did tell him, and there was so much pain there is the reason for the return of the unopened letters.

Its a very messy and fragile set of circumstances. Don't demonize the adoptive parents, no matter how easy it is now. You simply don't know the circumstances to judge them.

For all you know, if you had gotten your chance to corner the son, you might have found him violently angry with decades of repressed emotion surging at your wife.

This post was edited on 12/31/17 at 2:13 am

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Posted by HubbaBubba

F_uck Joe Biden, TX

Member since Oct 2010

45851 posts

Posted on 12/31/17 at 2:22 am to Volvagia

quote:
Volvagia

Good points, all.

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Posted by TutHillTiger

Mississippi Alabama

Member since Sep 2010

43700 posts

Posted on 12/31/17 at 3:00 pm to Volvagia

Sorry but I have a similar situation except it was with my father. About a week or so after he died a girl about my age called asking me questions about my dad. (Before internet) She said her father or stepfather had recently died and her mother gave her some info she was following up on. Like is this the George Miller that used to live in oxford, Miss, etc. (This happened a lot as my father had lived all over usually with people saying they were old friend etc and wanting to send something, etc)

I confirmed All her information I could literally hear the excitement build in her voice. She then revealed she would like to meet me and my father etc. I had to tell her than wasn’t possible as my father had died of massive heart attack weeks ago ( He was 39)

She starting almost immediately crying and apologize for bothering me and hung up.

A buddy of mine who had answered the phone initially said I think she is your stepsister. I have no doubt that I have a stepsister somewhere but I have never heard from her ago. I assume she told her that my father was her real Dad or something after her other father or father figure died.

I have never heard from her again and it has been over 30 years ago. She knows who I am but I know nothing about her. I even think she was at college same time as she was at Ole Miss as I think she told me she was going to be a Freshman or was a Freshman that Fall. I was sophomore.

I assume if she wanted to meet she could have

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