Zach Lowe’s (Pelicans) Dream: Too good to be true?

I’m curious to see our game vs the Warriors. AD/DC could potentially marginalize KD and Draymond by drawing a lot of fouls. If you take them out of the game then the Splash bros have to go into cheat mode to win.

Bought my tickets to the warriors game next Friday

Zach Lowe talking more Pelicans in his annual Crazy Predictions article.

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The Pelicans re-sign DeMarcus Cousins

Here's what I really wanted to predict: The Pelicans trade Cousins and filler to the Heat for Hassan Whiteside. That is my favorite fake trade in the league.

Think about it: If the Pelicans combust, they should get something for Cousins instead of letting him walk and pissing off Anthony Davis. Davis doesn't want to play center; Whiteside does!

For Miami, this is a pure talent play. Cousins is better and younger, with an untapped upside. If he ever gets his head on straight, Cousins is a top-10 player. You know who has a good record of coaxing alleged trouble personalities down the right path? The team that rescued Whiteside, and bought early on the Waiters Island waterfront!

The Heat are confident that once a player gets a taste of the way they do things (and of that South Beach life) they can entice him to stay. Miami's cap sheet is clogged through 2020; this might be their only way to land a star talent.

Alas, both teams swear up and down this won't happen. I almost predicted it anyway; Shea Serrano is always telling people to shoot their shot.

I'll settle for this: The Pellies hang around .500, miss the playoffs, shrug their shoulders, and max out Boogie. As of now, they won't have cap room to sign anyone else of consequence. Cousins would have them over a barrel the same way Jrue Holiday did.

And who else is lavishing Cousins with the max? At least half the league has (or claims to have) an ironclad "No Boogie" rule. The Lakers might take a shot on him as an Amar'e Stoudemire Memorial Free Agency Consolation Prize if they strike out on bigger names. The Mavs aren't afraid of gambling, and they'll need a center if Noel jets.

Beyond that, the market is murky.

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