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Started By
Message
Who here lives alone, and likes it?
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:47 am
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:47 am
Newly separated and on my way to a divorce. After 18 years with my wife, and the last 13 with children (ages 13, 12, and 9). The house was "beautiful chaos".
Been living alone for 6 months now. And I have found that I like it. I thought I would miss the "hum" of my wife and children. But I don't. And I feel sort of guilty about that.
I like my time alone. It allows me to focus and organize myself both physically and emotionally. Then, when I do spend time with other people (friends, family, my kids) I feel that I am more "focused" (I am not sure if that is the right word). But after being alone for a couple of days, I actually enjoy the presence of other people. And I feel like I engage with them in a more meaningful way.
Before, I felt bombarded with humanity all the time. So I found myself constantly looking to disengage.
TLDR: Now that I am alone, I value my time with other people more. I am a better father and friend than I was before.
Who else likes living alone? Does it make you feel a little guilty? Or that you are being judged as an outcast or a selfish?
ETA: My kids stay with me one night per week and every other weekend. Plus I am taking two week long vacations with them this summer. I have less time with them now, but more quality time.
Been living alone for 6 months now. And I have found that I like it. I thought I would miss the "hum" of my wife and children. But I don't. And I feel sort of guilty about that.
I like my time alone. It allows me to focus and organize myself both physically and emotionally. Then, when I do spend time with other people (friends, family, my kids) I feel that I am more "focused" (I am not sure if that is the right word). But after being alone for a couple of days, I actually enjoy the presence of other people. And I feel like I engage with them in a more meaningful way.
Before, I felt bombarded with humanity all the time. So I found myself constantly looking to disengage.
TLDR: Now that I am alone, I value my time with other people more. I am a better father and friend than I was before.
Who else likes living alone? Does it make you feel a little guilty? Or that you are being judged as an outcast or a selfish?
ETA: My kids stay with me one night per week and every other weekend. Plus I am taking two week long vacations with them this summer. I have less time with them now, but more quality time.
This post was edited on 6/28/17 at 10:17 am
60
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:49 am to No Colors
Love it. When I get tired of doing whatever I wanna do everyday, I'll consider marriage.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:49 am to No Colors
I love living alone. I don't plan on ever having a roommate unless I get married.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:51 am to No Colors
quote:
Now that I am alone, I value my time with other people more. I am a better father and friend than I was before.
Yeah... I'm sure your kids LOVE it
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:51 am to No Colors
it's nice to have your own spot, but it's also nice to be able to roll over and sex
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:52 am to No Colors
quote:
I am a better father
Keep telling yourself that.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:54 am to No Colors
I enjoy having the house to myself for a weekend or so. After that, I get fairly lonely.
ETA: I loved living along for a couple of years after college.
ETA: I loved living along for a couple of years after college.
This post was edited on 6/28/17 at 9:55 am
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:54 am to No Colors
quote:
Does it make you feel a little guilty
Not. At. All.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:55 am to No Colors
Pretty much the exact same feelings I have, been divorced for 2 years. Still love my peace and quiet.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:56 am to No Colors
I love it
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:57 am to No Colors
so they dont ever stay with you?
you should have waited for them to graduate.
that seriously sucks for them.
you should have waited for them to graduate.
that seriously sucks for them.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:57 am to No Colors
I love living with my girlfriend, but goddamn I miss living alone. It's awesome to live alone.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 9:57 am to No Colors
Not trying to get into details of your life, but 18 years is a good stretch. Did it happen quickly or has the separation been building up for a while? I only ask bc it's hard to imagine after so long what could happen (besides cheating) that could cause a separation? I guess you can just get tired of someone. And before someone says you need to be married to understand I've been married for 6 six years but with my wife for 12 years
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:07 am to No Colors
Hell ya. Nothing like watching tv on the couch in boxers
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:12 am to No Colors
I live alone and wouldn't trade it for anything.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:15 am to No Colors
It can be a little scary to live alone, though. Like, if you have a stalker.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:20 am to No Colors
I've lived alone since 2012 outside on 1 year living with an ex. I love it. I have my peace and quiet and can do other things when I want.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:22 am to No Colors
quote:
Been living alone for 6 months now. And I have found that I like it. I thought I would miss the "hum" of my wife and children. But I don't. And I feel sort of guilty about that.
I have lived alone for the better part of 25 years or so. Of course there's been a few "extended visits" both with and by gf's lasting months to a little over a year or so.
Once I had a male roomie in the dorms during college I knew, never again. Life's too short to put up with sock on a doorknob, or finding a place for a weekend so a bro can ho.
quote:
Does it make you feel a little guilty? Or that you are being judged as an outcast or a selfish?
I don't GAF what other people say, do, or think. I'm the only one that has to live with myself 24/7/365.
Not only do I prefer to live alone but I completely cutoff anyone and everyone who is a negative to my life. People either edify or detract from us. For me, if the relationship does not edify it's not worth having and I won't have it bring me down.
For example: My late Aunt got mean and derisive early on in her Alzheimer's. Screw it, got no time for that.
Of course I also understand it's a lot easier for me to walk away from people than it is for others. Moving every 2-3 years from birth till teenager taught me that people come and go in our lives all the time, NBD.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:22 am to No Colors
Love living alone. I have a dog, which is a lot of company. Enough to not feel alone alone. And I stay super busy with various friends and events, and get to travel without much thought. Just about every night of the week, I am at a friends or out and about. I never feel lonely or bored or like I am missing out by not having a live-in SO or kids (yet). Currently, it's the perfect blend. That being said, I think if I were an introvert, I would be over this lifestyle by now. I am closer to 30 now, and used to feel like I was maybe missing out by not hopping on the marriage/baby bandwagon, but as most of my friends have had kids in recent years, I realize it's not as magical and wonderful as it's cracked up to be. I like my wine, social life and not being a slave to a household. Maybe I won't be so happily selfish one day. 
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