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Do you have a favorite Rodney Dangerfield quote?

Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:31 pm
Posted by Jax-Tiger
Port Saint Lucie, FL
Member since Jan 2005
24781 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:31 pm
The man was a comic genius. Self-deprecating one-liner after one-liner.

Here are my favorites. Whatcha got?

"Doc, every morning I look in the mirror and feel like barfing, what's wrong", he said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Posted by Ed Osteen
Member since Oct 2007
57528 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:33 pm to
He always annoyed me
Posted by Crusty Juggler
Member since Jun 2013
351 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:34 pm to
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Posted by OKTiger83
Norman, OK
Member since Feb 2013
3132 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:35 pm to
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
96443 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:37 pm to
The first movie I was in was so bad the premiere got walked out on. And it was held on an airplane.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98341 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:39 pm to
"Hey Moose! Rocko! Help the Judge find his checkbook!"
Posted by Blizzard of Chizz
Member since Apr 2012
19110 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:42 pm to
I'm sitting on top of the world but I've got hemorrhoids
Posted by Vegas Eddie
The Quad
Member since Dec 2013
5979 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:43 pm to
That's skilled labor for an italian
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:44 pm to
Tell the chef this is low grade dog food. I can still see the marks where the jockey was hitting it.
Posted by GetBackToWork
Member since Dec 2007
6263 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
This steak still has marks on it from where the jockey was hitting it.

Ohhh baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Posted by Tortious
ATX
Member since Nov 2010
5142 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
"My wife says she wants to go somewhere she's never been. I say try the kitchen."
Posted by TigerstuckinMS
Member since Nov 2005
33687 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:46 pm to
I don't like cocaine, I just like the way it smells.
Posted by chris44gwlsu
Berlin, Germany
Member since Jan 2008
1165 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:47 pm to
"The best thing about having kids is making them"
Posted by BRgetthenet
Member since Oct 2011
117734 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:48 pm to
" we're all going to get laid!"
Posted by Pepe Lepew
Looney tuned .....
Member since Oct 2008
36178 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:48 pm to
Posted by TigerstuckinMS
Member since Nov 2005
33687 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:49 pm to
I was five years old before I realized there was no such thing as Alpo baby food.
Posted by Dave lsu 89
B.R,/ Houston
Member since Jun 2016
3879 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:52 pm to
The triple lindy
Posted by mdomingue
Lafayette, LA
Member since Nov 2010
30804 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:54 pm to
My favorite was actually an audience interaction. "anybody got a cigarette? I left mine in the machine.'
Then "You got a match, I'm not doing magic up here, you know."
Posted by Captain Lafitte
Barataria Bay
Member since Nov 2012
6383 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 5:56 pm to
From Easy Money:

"My mother-in-law, for years I wouldn't kiss her face; I end up kissing her arse."
Posted by The Dudes Rug
Member since Nov 2004
13860 posts
Posted on 5/11/17 at 6:03 pm to
quote:

My grandfatha' had a pacemaker. Every time he sneezed, the garage door opened.
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