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re: Divorced members of the OT
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:11 pm to sunnyz
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:11 pm to sunnyz
quote:
Physical. Got tired of getting knocked around like a rag doll.
Maybe. If so, I'm sorry to hear that. That being said, I've seen those allegations quite a bit, and they don't always mesh with reality. It is definitely the second greatest weapon in the woman's arsenal in divorces though.
1
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:20 pm to TheOcean
quote:
_______ be crazy
No shite. I had actually watched my ex totally frick over a couple of her so called girlfriends in earlier years. Never had a clue that I was next.
Crazy thing is that in looking at her, she has developed an eating disorder (or has had it and did a good job of hiding it all these years). She went back to chain smoking, and given her family history of cancer, it's only a matter of time. She had the best insurance she could have had while married to me. Now, she will have to rough it, and I predict that the end won't be pretty. She is 57 and looks like she's 77. Worse, she looks like her fricking paternal grandmother - never liked that bitch.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:23 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
That being said, I've seen those allegations quite a bit, and they don't always mesh with reality.
Unfortunately it was my reality. And yes I've seen women falsely claim abuse. I was just stupid for staying as long as I did.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:24 pm to jvilletiger25
It's been 5 years for me. Still sucks you just have to get accustomed to a new normal.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:26 pm to VetteGuy
quote:
That's what a man does.
Thanks. That was definitely one abyss that I looked into, that looked back at me. It helped me to redefine my character. I just tried to do what was right by the kids. In effect, they had no mother for about three years. It did a lot of damage to my daughter. I recall my daughter calling me crying telling me that her mother told her she didn't have time to talk as she was trying to start a new life.
Goddamn that bitch to the flames of hell forever!!!!!
I could survive getting shite on. Watching my kids take that was another matter.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:33 pm to mulletproof
quote:
you just have to get accustomed to a new normal.
Yes, your life is going to undergo redefinition. Funny thing I learned: Just keep your head down, keep trying to do the right things, use the experience to find (even small) ways to make yourself a better person, and you will come out with an interesting sense of peace. I was in my 50's when the wife left. I never thought that I would be single. Now I am in my 60's. I occasionally date, but not much. As for the ex, that bitch will eventually hit the wall, and I really won't care.
As to the issue of retirement, mine later wanted to go after it.
Two problems:
First, she initially indicated in the presence of my lawyer and myself that she wasn't interested in my retirement. Consequently, it wasn't in the property settlement. In order to lay hands on it now, she would have to get a LA attorney to sue LASERS. Good fricking luck with that one.
Second, I offer to proportionally divide the retirement as long as she agreed to take on half of the debts made in the community (including a student loan that I can afford, but she can't). She backed off real quick.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:39 pm to damnedoldtigah
With sky high divorce rates (70% of the time the woman wants out), cheating and ridiculous alimony settlements I don't know how in this day and age anyone would question anyone who doesn't want to marry.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:40 pm to AZBadgerFan
quote:
I don't know how in this day and age anyone would question any man who doesn't want to marry.
FIFY. Generally, women are incentivized to get married (and divorce).
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:44 pm to jvilletiger25
Replies to the OP are depressing, but funny.
I'm happily married for 20 years and in our group of friends the only couple married. I can sense the envy they have.
This is prophetic movie quote to its core...
I'm happily married for 20 years and in our group of friends the only couple married. I can sense the envy they have.
This is prophetic movie quote to its core...
quote:
No, no. You just said you loved her. There's some difference between lovin' and likin'. When I married Jennie's mother, I-I didn't love her - I liked her... I liked her a lot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do... still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin' her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 4:59 pm to Mo Jeaux
Correct, I should have been more specific
Posted on 5/19/16 at 5:07 pm to jvilletiger25
quote:Alright - enough is enough! frick that shite man. Plans change everyday, people change and you have to change too.
I wish I could be like you. But I planned on being with this girl for the rest of my life. It's hard for someone to get through to me. But when they do, I love hard. That's how it's supposed to be. We're not robots.
If you're paying for everything for those two kids + child support then you have a shitty lawyer. You should be paying child support and that's it. She's supposed to use that income to pay childcare, food, medical bills, etc. to take care of them. She's double dipping if you're paying out like that.
Now, if she was a pill popping, cheating, lying bitch and she has moved on to destroy another poor bastard's life then thank your lucky stars it's not you.
You can either get busy living or get busy dying. Pick yourself up and get on with living dude.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 5:38 pm to jvilletiger25
Financially- A little over a year. When we separated, like an idiot, I agreed to let her keep EVERYTHING we had acquired during our time together. Except the xbox, because goddamnit, she wasn't taking that. Which meant I was actually homeless for about a month. I left with literally my clothes, the xbox, $200 and my car.
I think I agreed to it because I didn't want any of her shite in my life, reminding me of the years I wasted only to have her rip my heart out.
Fortunately, she was fricking rich, so she didn't want alimony, and we didn't have any children together.
Emotionally-I still have my tough days, 5 years later, but then I remember the living hell it was being married to a borderline personality and I get over it.
I've been with many women since, can't bring myself to feel much of anything for them though. Even with the current gf, I wouldn't be devastated if we called it quits tomorrow, as long as got to hit that one more time. Probably a defense mechanism, wonder if that ever goes away.
I think I agreed to it because I didn't want any of her shite in my life, reminding me of the years I wasted only to have her rip my heart out.
Fortunately, she was fricking rich, so she didn't want alimony, and we didn't have any children together.
Emotionally-I still have my tough days, 5 years later, but then I remember the living hell it was being married to a borderline personality and I get over it.
I've been with many women since, can't bring myself to feel much of anything for them though. Even with the current gf, I wouldn't be devastated if we called it quits tomorrow, as long as got to hit that one more time.
Probably a defense mechanism, wonder if that ever goes away.Posted on 5/19/16 at 5:41 pm to jvilletiger25
Mine "coincided" with the RE crash, and my entire life (law practice, investments, residences) was tied up in the market. I have a hard time separating out what was directly related to divorce--I definitely made a few really stupid financial decisions before the divorce was even final, which I'm still paying for over 5 years later.
But I'd say on the whole, simple answer: 3 years. Hunker down.
But I'd say on the whole, simple answer: 3 years. Hunker down.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 5:55 pm to Vols&Shaft83
quote:
I've been with many women since, can't bring myself to feel much of anything for them though. Even with the current gf, I wouldn't be devastated if we called it quits tomorrow, as long as got to hit that one more time. Probably a defense mechanism, wonder if that ever goes away.
That's actually a good question. I have experienced the same thing myself and still do seven years later. I think part of it is a defense mechanism. I also think that we hit what we thing is the lowest point in our lives, and as we're coming back up, no one will ever hurt us like that first one did.
I like to go out from time to time, have a good time, get laid, etc. I also have a many evening where I am content to have dinner with the dog and enjoy a movie with her sleeping at my side on the couch. The dog has been the most faithful creature of anything that happened in the divorce. They are authentic and accept you unconditionally. They are more than ready to play when you are feeling great, and they are there for you in your low times as well. If anything, I think my dog senses when I am having a down day and tries to cheer me up by brining me a tennis ball to throw or a piece of rope to play tug. Thank God for dogs.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 5:57 pm to McLemore
quote:
Hunker down.
A good strategy indeed. Don't make any major financial or life decisions for awhile. Don't make an emotional decision on a life changing issue.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 5:57 pm to damnedoldtigah
Yeah I don't think I'll ever get married again. I keep hoping but I'm far too cynical these days.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 6:44 pm to Mo Jeaux
Who elses ex and family are copy/pasting this thread in hopes of some sort of upper hand?
Posted on 5/19/16 at 9:20 pm to dbeck
quote:
Yeah I don't think I'll ever get married again. I keep hoping but I'm far too cynical these days.
Comes with being older and wiser.
Posted on 5/19/16 at 9:22 pm to meauxjeaux2
MJ, did this all start with the ex seeing her ex a few years ago? I remember the thread back then.
You are better off.
You are better off.
Posted on 5/20/16 at 12:19 am to madamsquirrel
Yeah, good way to cut your net worth in half.
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