Your go-to office pranks

Shitting directly into your boss's coffee mug is always great high jinks.

My favorite prank is to convince people to do pranks and have them lose their jobs over them because of the no-tolerance policy.

And then I have less competition.

Remove shift key from keyboard & air horn under desk chair

Ive spent a large portion of my existence in the AF, so pretty much all I've learned are high scale hijinks...

Air Samples
Lost aircraft keys
10' of flightline
Water fountain monitor
I-D10-T oil
K-9P
NDI steel toes
Obvious corrective actions


I could literally go on all day...
The AF is the comedy show of the services

Put little boy underwear in a guys lunch box during a turnaround, and alerted the guard. She checked his box and pulled them out in front of everyone asking wtf it was. He was pissed

Top ten ways to be 'the funny guy' in your office:

10. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick it inyour arse- then return it and tell the person to smell it- when they tell you that it smells bad- be like, "It should! I had it in my arse!"

9. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyones hand.

8. Answer every question asked to you with 'frick if i know!' then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.

7. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the front of your pants.

6. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!!" Then when it stops, look down and say...."Oh."

5. shite on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it tell them its the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shite, laugh and point.

4. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard-then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up a big loogie- then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "Beat that!"

3. Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker," then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good "arse fricking".

2. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.

1. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks- tell everyone how you're just kidding- then tell everyone that they're just a bunch of homo lovers.

Wait until Christmas or valentines
Get on their Facebook
Download bad/stupid looking photos of them
Go to Walgreens.com
Make really cheesy holiday cards of them with bad photos and an uncomfortably cheesy message
Print 20 copies
Get to work really early and leave a copy on everyone's desk (including your own)

Put a pice of tape on their desk phones earpiece
Repeat everyday until it gets so thick that they can't hear anythig

Someone had posted taking a screen shot of someone's desktop, then move all icons into one folder inside of "my documents" and make the screen shot their desktop wallpaper.

If they're a "hunt and peck" typer, I'll rearrange the keys on their keyboard.

I'll tell them that someone (usually a manager) needs to see them in their office. When the manager never asked to see them.


Some more sinister ones that have been pulled:

Create a macro on their outlook that replaces one word with another. For example; have the word "tool" replaced with "black cock". This guy sent an email out asking for tools only to see he was asking black cocks

Connect the vent fan in the men's bathroom to the vent in their office. To sweeten it, I brought in Mexican food for the office that day.

Buy 100 crickets at the pet store and let them loose in someone's office. I got burned on this one. I can still hear crickets months later.

Take something off their desk. Go to various spots around town, taking pictures of the item. Then send them the pictures from random phone#'s/emails. The owner of the company pulled this one. Had this guy go to Twin Peaks, Hooters, the strip club, and finally a sex shop. Little did he know the owner had people at each location in on the joke. So the guy comes back, and the owner asks why he was at Twin Peaks, Hooters, the strip club and a sex shop when he should've been at work