re: Missing Florida boys' boat found capsized

Heartbreaking. The thought of one my children or any child to whom I'm related or close lost at sea with official searches called off is way more than gutwrenching. I'm not sure there's an apt word for that.

I've always disliked the word "closure". There is no closure even if bodies are found. I think if the bodies are found, it allows the family and friends the ability to "cross over" to the next stage of grief with a goal of learning to live life in spite of the loss. People don't get over these losses, so there's no closure. It's more of a moving on with an unimaginably broken heart and learning to live with it, a much harder thing to do when no body is found. That's excruciating. When do you give up? How can you give up as a parent even though you know you have to accept the loss at some point?

The only "positive" and I use that term very loosely because I can't think of a better word right now, is that they know where the boys were lost. The ocean sort of becomes a huge grave, somewhere to go to "visit" them, though not the same as a cemetery. It's not much of a consolation and I don't think I could ever look at that area of the ocean without thinking that my child was lost and likely died there.

I knew someone who died in the Mobile Regatta disaster. Thankfully, he was found and buried. However, his family members have found solace in the fact that he died doing what he loved and they look at the bay as a beautiful place and have some have visited since then at various times. They somehow get some peace there and thinking about him dying in that manner, in a strange way. Any way you can get solace of any kind even for a brief moment is good.

Geez, I don't know these kids or their families, but it's so darn sad that it's difficult not to mourn for them. Still hoping for a miracle, but that's a slim chance at this point and getting slimmer with every minute.