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"What is the laziest thing you've ever done"

Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:32 pm
Posted by bhtigerfan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
29678 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:32 pm
Stumbled across this on Reddit, some are genius.
quote:

I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I'm comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he's sleeping, I'll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
quote:

was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep
quote:

I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-arse circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.

But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.

And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.

He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.


quote:

I once watched 2 hours of antique roadshow because the cat jumped up in front of the tv sensor as I was flicking through channels and fell asleep.
quote:

I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.
quote:

I didn't want to get up to get scissors to open a package I had, so I grabbed the cat and used his claws. It was soft plastic and the cat was indifferent.
quote:

I ran out of clean bowls for cereal. So I lined the bowls with foil, over the old food and made a bowl of cereal. After that I threw away the foil and did it again the next day.


LINK
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 8:36 pm
Posted by HailHailtoMichigan!
Mission Viejo, CA
Member since Mar 2012
69355 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:34 pm to
Occasionally I don't feel like wiping
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65868 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:34 pm to
tl/dr
Posted by LSUTANGERINE
Baton Rouge LA
Member since Sep 2006
36113 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:34 pm to
nothing
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79322 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:36 pm to
I think someone on here had a story of sitting around all day waiting until it was noon/midnight to reset one of his clocks after a power outage some days later.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124551 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:36 pm to
I haven't done laundry in months. I just pick the one that smells the least and wear it.


Today I wore a baggy t-shirt as a pair of shorts and cut a hole in a bedsheet to wear as a moo-moo.


Can't say it's not comfy.
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166497 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:37 pm to
Ops guy was funny
Posted by Birdie King
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2013
8065 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:39 pm to
quote:

I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.


this is greatness
Posted by motorbreath
New Orleans Saints fan
Member since Jun 2004
6381 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:40 pm to
In high school I was supposed to do a research paper. I kept procrastinating and finally said frick it. I didn't do it. Failed sophomore English and had to make up the class in summer school.
Posted by Scruffy
Kansas City
Member since Jul 2011
72173 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:42 pm to
Last night, I wanted to watch a movie. I decided to watch a movie that I own. While laying on the couch, within arms reach of the movie, I decided it was much easier just to pay $3 to rent the movie through my smart tv than it would be to get up and put the movie in my DVD player.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92877 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:42 pm to
Didn't go out and vote against Obama in 2008
Posted by Carson123987
Middle Court at the Rec
Member since Jul 2011
66467 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:43 pm to
terd postd this last time we had this thread

quote:

The other night I was laying in bed about to fall asleep and I realized that I wasn't really that comfortable. I started thinking about how I'd probably be more comfortable if I rolled over to my other side... but then I just didn't feel like doing it.

I probably sat there for 3 or 4 minutes contemplating on whether or not I should adjust myself or just try to fall asleep how I was.\





quote:

was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep


Posted by Henry Jones Jr
Member since Jun 2011
68584 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:45 pm to
When I was a kid, I had a stomach virus. Woke up one night and felt like I had to throw up. I didn't feel like getting up so I just rolled over and puked on the carpet floor.
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 8:55 pm
Posted by Grouper Picatta
Sarasota,FL
Member since Mar 2013
1590 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:46 pm to
quote:

quote: I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.



Lol. I've pissed in my shoes so I wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92877 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:48 pm to
quote:

Used to have one of those 'clap on, clap off' lights in my room. I hated clapping so I just made an audio recording of me clapping and mapped it to one of the programmable keys on my keyboard.


I actually have a funny story about this. I used to fall asleep with the TV on and never could find the remote in the middle of the night to turn it off so I had what I thought was a brilliant idea, I would just buy a clapper and I could clap to turn it off. Well a few days later this girl I was seeing came over and I started hitting it doggy and the TV kept turning on and off and on and off. When I told her what had happened after and we started laughing so hard that she let out the largest queef that it made the entire thing one of my favorite experiences ever!
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:52 pm to
Bought an entire album on itunes because I have a cd of the same album in my car but don't feel like going through the process of putting it on itunes.
Posted by John McClane
Member since Apr 2010
36708 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:53 pm to
OPS bagel was great
Posted by Cap Crunch
Fire Alleva
Member since Dec 2010
54189 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:53 pm to
quote:

I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-arse circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.

But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.

And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.

He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.


This is from a year ago, and even though I doubt the above is true, this is still one of the greatest things I've ever read
Posted by TheGasMan
Member since Oct 2014
3147 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:55 pm to
I was in the Navy and we had to do a command run for morning PT. Me and a few friends peeled off at the start, went into Burger King and crushed some breakfast. After wards we went to our barracks room, splashed some water on our shirts and hair and rejoined the run at the finish. Somehow none of the Chiefs noticed.
Posted by TDawg1313
WA
Member since Jul 2009
12312 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 9:11 pm to
I have a friend who really wanted Dr. Pepper but didn't want to go out of his apartment. He called up a pizza shop and ordered a 2 liter for delivery.
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