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Write your own "A Florida man..." story
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:16 pm
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:16 pm
What's the dumbest headline you can come up with that's crazy enough to be true in our favorite penis-shaped state?
Example:
A Florida man was arrested for public intoxication after seen masturbating while riding a manatee around St. Petersburg harbor.
Example:
A Florida man was arrested for public intoxication after seen masturbating while riding a manatee around St. Petersburg harbor.
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:18 pm to kingbob
A Florida man lived a normal life
Eta: obviously my story is science fiction
Eta: obviously my story is science fiction
This post was edited on 4/21/15 at 1:19 pm
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:19 pm to kingbob
Florida has any nice parts, but the weirdness/trashiness factor lurking behind the scenes and on the periphery is off the chart.
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:24 pm to baybeefeetz
Florida Man gets tired of being painted with a broad brush because of all the stupidity dregs from other states perpetrate in his beautiful state.
What? Too wordy?
What? Too wordy?
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:31 pm to kingbob
A Florida high school administrator was arrested after streaking on to the field during a girls' high school soccer game before proceeding to allegedly masturbate at midfield. Authorities reportedly found traces of spice along with other drug paraphernalia in the principal's office.
Arse's thread title: "Florida principal adds spice to girls' soccer game"
Arse's thread title: "Florida principal adds spice to girls' soccer game"
This post was edited on 4/21/15 at 1:32 pm
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:35 pm to BamaChemE
Florida.....what could be.
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:46 pm to kingbob
One Florida Man turns in Jorts for pair of Khakis, or Does He?
Lakeland, FL -- After being countlessly assaulted, verbally, for wearing an old pair of cutoff jeans, Jim McGreggor has decided to turn to khakis. The Indiana native moved to Lakeland to get out of the cold winters and quickly integrated into the cultureless community of Lakeland. In fact, it seemed eerily similar to his community in Indiana, with the small difference of a fad of cut-off jeans.
However, when visiting friends back in the mid-west he was met with discerning hatred. After countless verbal rapings, McGreggor decided to switch to khaki's as his normal leg wear.
However, now he is going to the courts to try and resurrect his rights as a jean short wearing man. His case is currently set to be heard by a Florida circuit court, but may make it all the way to the supreme court.
"No Jort wearing man should have to endure the type of criticism I have had to endure," states McGreggor, "I have been criminally persecuted and I will stand up to the prejudices. I am the Dr Martin Luther King of Jort wearers and I have a dream."
More to come as more facts turn their ugly, racist heads.
Lakeland, FL -- After being countlessly assaulted, verbally, for wearing an old pair of cutoff jeans, Jim McGreggor has decided to turn to khakis. The Indiana native moved to Lakeland to get out of the cold winters and quickly integrated into the cultureless community of Lakeland. In fact, it seemed eerily similar to his community in Indiana, with the small difference of a fad of cut-off jeans.
However, when visiting friends back in the mid-west he was met with discerning hatred. After countless verbal rapings, McGreggor decided to switch to khaki's as his normal leg wear.
However, now he is going to the courts to try and resurrect his rights as a jean short wearing man. His case is currently set to be heard by a Florida circuit court, but may make it all the way to the supreme court.
"No Jort wearing man should have to endure the type of criticism I have had to endure," states McGreggor, "I have been criminally persecuted and I will stand up to the prejudices. I am the Dr Martin Luther King of Jort wearers and I have a dream."
More to come as more facts turn their ugly, racist heads.
Posted on 4/21/15 at 1:48 pm to SouthOfSouth
A Florida man has been arrested after seen fricking a goat in the walmart parking lot.
Posted on 4/21/15 at 2:00 pm to Tiger inTampa
quote:
Florida Man gets tired of being painted with a broad brush because of all the stupidity dregs from other states perpetrate in his beautiful state.
What? Too wordy?
Hell No! Every word is true. I just want my damn state back. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, there were only around six million in the entire state.
Rural Florida is still a very nice place to live. Where I live is two hours through the woods to the Gulf and thirty minutes to Crescent Beach, on the Atlantic. It's still a little heaven on earth as far as I'm concerned.
To many Laws though.
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