re: Three armed men invade your home at 2am. What do you do?

Play a 1930's gangster movie and turn the volume way up when the guy says "get out of here you filthy animal". Light fireworks when he starts shooting the tommy gun. If for some crazy reason that doesn't work. I will ice the front walkway. Superheat the front doorknob. Break some Christmas ornaments by the main stairs and rig a paint can on rope. Put a nail on the basement stairs. Collect a hot iron, some hairspray, and my bb gun for self defense.

I'm so ready.