Around the SEC: In Alphabetical Order
The West

Alabama – Even friends of Harvey Updyke are upset with the Lane Kiffin hire and the prospect of a starting quarterback not named Jacob Coker. The decline, although forever denied, appears real.

Arkansas – Brett Bielema has the arduous task of extinguishing the conflagration started by the exhaust of Bobby Petrino’s wrecked motorbike. Going ofer in the SEC again this season will end all attempts.

Auburn – Gus Malzahn has reversed Auburn’s losing ways—and their mentality. Bobby Knight said that “Mental is to physical as three is to one.” The same could possibly later be said for him to Nick Saban.

LSU – Les Miles, the Wolverine, the menacing “skunk bear” or “glutton,” will lead his Bengal Tigers against an upstart, hopeful group of badgers this Saturday in H-Town. Bettors ride the SEC big cats.

Mississippi State – The bulldogs host Southern Miss this weekend in Stark Vegas. Optimism hasn’t been this high since NASA relocated its space program there in the 1990’s, citing no perceivable atmosphere.

Ole Miss – The Rebels, after losing the Egg Bowl to their cross-state nemesis, apparently got awful serious about winning football. Wallace cut his mullet and bow ties are now banned in the Grove.

Texas A&M – The Aggies will have a difficult year in Manziel’s huge wake. Kevin Sumlin will earn every penny of his exorbitant salary and will be scrutinized by every high dollar booster the program boasts.

The East

Florida – Will Muschamp is no longer a wunderkind. Losing to a division II team that failed to complete a pass was the low point for the 2013 Gators. A new OC and a fresh mindset are Champ’s only hopes.

Georgia – Mark Richt proponents swear his seat is not even lukewarm. However, Richt cannot afford another season like last. Starting the season at home against Clemson with a win will work wonders.

Kentucky – Trivia Question: Who is Kentucky’s new football coach? Bob’s brother is a hint. Trivia Question II: Who was Kentucky’s last football coach? No hint. Answers: Mark Stoops, Joker Phillips.

Mizzou – Gary Pinkel proved his worth a year ago when he shocked the SEC and made it to the Championship game. Despite the perceived miracle, no one is giving his team credit for a repeat.

South Carolina – Spurrier has his swagger back and the rest of the SEC better take notice. Kevin Sumlin is highly regarded in most media circles as a damn good coach. We find out in Columbia on Saturday.

Tennessee – Speaking swagger, Butch Jones is a fireball of mud, blood and sweat looking to resurrect a once-proud Tennessee tradition. They have a couple patsies before playing Oklahoma in Norman.

Vanderbilt – Derek Mason has replaced the departed Kevin Franklin, who chose to try and extinguish the dumpster fire started by the Jerry Sandusky scandal. Franklin, like Mason, obviously loves challenges.

Bias Against the Other Thirteen and for the Tide

The head of SEC officials (referees) is a graduate of the University of Alabama. He and Mike Slive hire and commission all referees. Alabama was the least penalized team in the Southeastern Conference a year ago, and the least penalized during five of the last six seasons. The SEC offices are in Birmingham, Alabama. Alabama’s schedule is the easiest of the teams favored to win the Western Division, and the 12th toughest overall of 14 league teams. Is this a coincidence, or is something more sinister, at play?

If strength of schedule (like in hoops) is a critical factor to be considered by the inaugural playoff committee stacked with SEC-friendly representatives at year’s end, is it possible that the venerable Crimson Tide will be denied a coveted playoff slot if it fails to win the Western Division or the SEC Championship? These are important questions as the league embraces the long-awaited playoff era of American collegiate football and tries to improve its ability to place two teams in the championship bracket at year’s end.

Another important consideration is the playoff committee’s role in selecting four teams. If the SEC does somehow work its political magic and land two teams in the four-team playoff, how will the other two “super conferences” that are left out, react? Choosing number one will be easy…two, three and four—not so much. Nobody wants to be three, as you will play one. You thought the BCS was a mess. Rest assured this will only be a temporary fiasco. In three or four years you can expect an eight-team playoff—and that will certainly be good for the true democratization of college football…which is still only at best a country boy’s dream.

Until next week…

*A double graduate of LSU in Baton Rouge, Chris Warner is the author of over twenty titles, including “A Tailgater’s Guide to SEC Football Volume IV,” “SEC Sports Quotes Compendium,” “Bushwhacked at the Flora-Bama,” and a brand new novel, “Saved at the Alabama-Florida Line,” inspired by the life and times of Joe Gilchrist, among others. He lives in L.A. (Lower Alabama) on the Redneck Riviera. Find his books on Amazon or in the Kindle Store.