re: OT lawyers assemble. Child care question.

I am very sorry for you and your ex-wife. I tell you this not in my capacity as an attorney, but in my capacity as a Dad:

I recently spent time with my son who just celebrated his 32nd birthday. His Mother and I separated right before his 1st birthday. We had 50/50 custody with him living with her. It was a very ugly divorce and she and I did some nasty stuff to one another. None of the nastiness affected our child. My son never heard me say an ugly word about his Mother and he never heard his Mother say a ugly thing about me. I couldn't ask for a better or more well-adjusted kid. The way his Mother and I handled his upbringing is what I am proudest of in my life.

It's time for you to sit down with your ex-wife or call her and straighten things out for the sake of your daughter. Your ex-wife shouldn't do anything concerning your daughter that she wouldn't want you to do and vice versa. If she can have her SO pick up your daughter, you should be able to do the same.

If the daycare is a problem you should speak with them and advise them that you expect the same courtesies of privacy or disclosure that your ex-wife receives from them. If they will not agree, it's time to change daycare.

Nothing you said in your post would indicate that you are being unreasonable. But as an attorney and as a person who has been divorced, I know that there are always two sides to every story. Take this advice, make things as easy and peaceable as you can with your ex. You can still hate her and she can still hate you, but for the sake of your child you both have to act like grown-ups. I can tell you that my son's Mother and I do not hate one another anymore. We don't socialize, but send holiday and birthday wishes to one another. It has worked out for us, but more important, it has worked out for our son.

Best wishes to you. Keep your daughter's interests paramount.