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Started By
Message
My father recently passed. I want to be there for my mother, but how?
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:49 pm
My parents were married for 25 years before my father unexpectedly passed at the age of 44 from pneumonia. I am now her closest relative, geographically and physically. But thing is I'm still an hour and half away enrolled in school. My mother has never been alone and I'm so worried about her. I will come home most weekends now but I fear that's not enough. I entertained ?the thought of transferring to a closer school or even taking a break from school just to be with her. But my uncle reminded me she would absolutely never allow me to do that and the best thing I could do right now is finish my degree
Everyone is telling me I'm the man of the house Now when ?the fact is I still depend on my parents to send money when im low and in need... Are there good books written on the subject.
Everyone is telling me I'm the man of the house Now when ?the fact is I still depend on my parents to send money when im low and in need... Are there good books written on the subject.
22
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:50 pm to QJenk
really sorry man.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:52 pm to QJenk
Bright days are ahead 
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
Travel home... a lot
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
I'm sorry for your loss.
As for your mom, ask her what she needs. And tell her you will be there for her.
As for your mom, ask her what she needs. And tell her you will be there for her.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
I'm sorry for your loss.
I think you need to discuss this with your mom & see what her expectations of you are & go from there.
Again, I'm so very sorry.
I think you need to discuss this with your mom & see what her expectations of you are & go from there.
Again, I'm so very sorry.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:53 pm to QJenk
Sorry to hear about it man.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:54 pm to QJenk
Really sorry. Keep doing what you're doing. If you can, call more often in between weekends. Try to scavenge her friends and get them to do social activities with her. She needs people in her life.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:54 pm to QJenk
Sorry brother. Hang in there.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:54 pm to QJenk
Sorry for your loss bro.
An hour and a half away isn't that far, you could always go over there a few nights a week just to sit with her so she's not alone or maybe take her out to eat if she's up for it. You could also maybe cook or help her cook, and help her clean the house. It should also be your responsibility to handle all of the yardwork and other things like that around the house.
I wouldn't suggest dropping out but are you at least doing well in school? If you're just out there fricking around partying then you should maybe take a hard look at what you're doing. I wouldn't worry too much about the money thing, hopefully your dad had something put away and a decent life insurance policy. Mom still working?
An hour and a half away isn't that far, you could always go over there a few nights a week just to sit with her so she's not alone or maybe take her out to eat if she's up for it. You could also maybe cook or help her cook, and help her clean the house. It should also be your responsibility to handle all of the yardwork and other things like that around the house.
I wouldn't suggest dropping out but are you at least doing well in school? If you're just out there fricking around partying then you should maybe take a hard look at what you're doing. I wouldn't worry too much about the money thing, hopefully your dad had something put away and a decent life insurance policy. Mom still working?
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:55 pm to QJenk
Sorry man been there just try to listen and let her mourn and don't forget to mourn yourself.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:56 pm to QJenk
Do what you feel is right. I don't think there is a wrong answer here.
I think of I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing now. Reevaluate as time passes. If you think you need to be there then go home for a semester or two. Taking 6 months to a year off from school is no biggie in the long run.
Sorry for your loss.
I think of I were you I'd keep doing what you're doing now. Reevaluate as time passes. If you think you need to be there then go home for a semester or two. Taking 6 months to a year off from school is no biggie in the long run.
Sorry for your loss.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 10:57 pm to QJenk
Sorry to hear that, man. Good on you for doing what you believe is best for your mom, but remember your education is very important.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:00 pm to QJenk
quote:
My parents were married for 25 years before my father unexpectedly passed at the age of 44 from pneumonia.
Sorry, man. I just lost my dad in April unexpectedly. He was 53. I'm trying to navigate the same waters.
eta-I'm in WA state and she's in Bama. I've been doing a lot more flying.
This post was edited on 2/23/14 at 11:02 pm
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:00 pm to QJenk
Dude... I hope you can get through the tough times ahead
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:01 pm to QJenk
It's alway hard for someone to lose their mate, i'm no young person, but from what I've noticed in my own family as well as many others is that its much harder on a husband to lose his wife of many years and carry on, then it is for a wife to lose her husband. For some reason the female in the marriage always seemed to bounce back a lot quicker and move on in her life then the male. I don't know why that is, its just my observation during my lifetime. I'm betting that your mom will do fine. And I'm sorry for you and your family's loss of your dad.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:02 pm to QJenk
So sorry for your loss. Just do what you think you can to help out your mom.
As for school, are you even capable of giving it 100% right now? If I lost a parent so unexpected like that I don't know if I could focus on school at the moment and would likely seriously consider taking a break.
Education is important, but taking a semester or 2 off isn't horrible and doesn't automatically mean you have given up on school.
As for school, are you even capable of giving it 100% right now? If I lost a parent so unexpected like that I don't know if I could focus on school at the moment and would likely seriously consider taking a break.
Education is important, but taking a semester or 2 off isn't horrible and doesn't automatically mean you have given up on school.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:02 pm to QJenk
Talk to her about it. Listen to her. Be there for her. Sorry for your loss, but none of us d-bags can give you advice advice as your mom....talk to her.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:05 pm to QJenk
You also lost someone too man. Don't get too caught up on what you need to do and being "the man of the house." You gotta do what's right for you, if not you'll be no good for anyone else.
Posted on 2/23/14 at 11:17 pm to QJenk
Seeing you graduate will help her more then money.
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