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How do you deal with the death of your parents?
Posted on 1/21/14 at 12:53 am
Posted on 1/21/14 at 12:53 am
This has been on my mind lately. Like everyone else, the folks are getting up there. They aren't in the greatest health. I've been through some heartache, but these are the only two rocks in my life. It's just hard for me to imagine a world without them.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 12:55 am to tigersownall
My GF has lost both hers. All I can say is it hit her real hard. Her dad died last spring and she's nowhere near getting over it.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 12:58 am to tigersownall
Time helps. That's about it.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 1:00 am to tigersownall
Lost my Dad to lung cancer July 11, 2011 (exactly 1 month before his 60th birthday)
So many surreal moments from the time I got the phone call until the time we got home from the funeral. Also a lot of moments and days in there I don't even remember. Some of it was a blur and some of it is ingrained in great detail in my mind.
Wake and funeral are the easiest. It's going back to work, trying to sleep on that first night after they're buried...you realize that your world has taken a huge hit, but the world itself doesn't notice and life goes on.
You'll find yourself getting emotional when you least expect it and not being emotional at all when you think you should. I personally will never get over the loss of my dad (my best friend and mentor), but I cope with it better and better every day that life goes on. And maybe....hopefully, I can be half the man, father and person he was someday.
So many surreal moments from the time I got the phone call until the time we got home from the funeral. Also a lot of moments and days in there I don't even remember. Some of it was a blur and some of it is ingrained in great detail in my mind.
Wake and funeral are the easiest. It's going back to work, trying to sleep on that first night after they're buried...you realize that your world has taken a huge hit, but the world itself doesn't notice and life goes on.
You'll find yourself getting emotional when you least expect it and not being emotional at all when you think you should. I personally will never get over the loss of my dad (my best friend and mentor), but I cope with it better and better every day that life goes on. And maybe....hopefully, I can be half the man, father and person he was someday.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 1:05 am to tigersownall
My mom has been sick. Not sure what's going to happen. Prepared (I think), but not sure how I'll deal with it.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 1:06 am to tigersownall
You just have to accept the fact that they're gone. There will be bad day, and there will be good days. At times something will happen, you'll laugh and remember them and it'll make your day.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 1:38 am to tigersownall
There's really nothing that you can be told bc everyone deals with it differently. You will think about them at times for the rest of your life. If you believe in God, know that they are in a better place.
Think about how they would not want you to sulk.
Think about it in a simplistic manner and that it happens to everyone and that they lived a good life.
You will never prepare yourself for it. Just make sure they know, today, how much you love them.
Think about how they would not want you to sulk.
Think about it in a simplistic manner and that it happens to everyone and that they lived a good life.
You will never prepare yourself for it. Just make sure they know, today, how much you love them.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 2:30 am to tigersownall
Time helps plus knowing how badly he was suffering in the months leading up to his death and knowing he had no quality of life.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 2:31 am to tigersownall
My father passed away two years ago and it was tough. It was like a kick in the gut, and everytime I go home to visit my mom I find myself looking for him. And like a previous poster stated, you will find yourself all of a sudden having an emotional spell. I find they come less and less often thankfully. But you never get over it and will always miss him/her. And finally it forces you to come to grips with your own mortality, especially knowing that you are the next generation in line.
Do yourself, and them, a favor. Visit and call often. God Bless.....
Do yourself, and them, a favor. Visit and call often. God Bless.....
Posted on 1/21/14 at 2:43 am to tigersownall
It's more than a test. It's a whole new chapter in your life. Things that bring comfort also bring pain, till they sorta become one in the same. And that's called learning to live with it, one day at a time the best you can.
Things that you took for granted you'd give anything to just to have a few moments of that again. Memories become personal treasures, and with that, what seems as painful reminders can become pillars of strength.
Things that you took for granted you'd give anything to just to have a few moments of that again. Memories become personal treasures, and with that, what seems as painful reminders can become pillars of strength.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 5:28 am to tigersownall
I lost my dad. It isn't easy but life goes on, at first you will think about them every day and all the stuff you did and didn't do together. What you will realize is if you have kids enjoy them as much as you can.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 5:50 am to tigersownall
quote:not well
How do you deal with the death of your parents?
Posted on 1/21/14 at 6:39 am to tigersownall
Ain't easy. Both of mine are gone and the obligatory "wish I would have done X, and should have visited more" come around at times.
My suggestion......do everything, and I mean everything you can with them right now. No excuses. Make it happen and you might feel better in the end.
They will be gone. I was the same way....never gonna lose them....
My suggestion......do everything, and I mean everything you can with them right now. No excuses. Make it happen and you might feel better in the end.
They will be gone. I was the same way....never gonna lose them....
Posted on 1/21/14 at 6:42 am to tigersownall
Enjoy the time you have with them now. Stop borrowing problems
Posted on 1/21/14 at 6:55 am to tigersownall
My Dad died the night of Memorial Day, 2005 and I'm not sure I'm over it. I find myself daydreaming about our going fishing, just the two of us (I'm the 2nd of 5), in our little flat boat and really miss that. I even think about how I loved how he would tie my cleats so tight so the shoestrings wouldn't come undone as a six year old, how he so enjoyed a State Championship Game run my Soph year, and the letter he wrote me the day of the CG telling me how proud of me he was, him holding my children for the first time, jumping into the pool fully clothed after beating USC in the 98 CWS, but mostly, his last words to me hours before he went Home, "I Love You, son."
Dang, sorry for getting carried away.
Dang, sorry for getting carried away.
This post was edited on 1/21/14 at 6:57 am
Posted on 1/21/14 at 7:24 am to tigersownall
my mom died a couple of months ago. She was 84 and deep into Alzheimer's, so it was a relief for her not to have to live like that anymore. I was never outwardly sad and felt no grieving. Looking back, i was a bitch to live with for that first month. Everything made me angry. Now i find my eyes leaking at weird times.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 7:29 am to tigersownall
Just be glad for the lifetime you had with them. There's others out there who have no memories whatsoever of their parents.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 7:30 am to tigersownall
I lost my dad in August 2012. He fought a hard fight for the longest time. A day does not go by that I don't think about him. Time like they say is a great healer.
I will tell you one thing. I will never forget seeing his last moments of life. The sounds the smell of the hospital room, the lady at the nursing station yelling out he's gone.
I will tell you one thing. I will never forget seeing his last moments of life. The sounds the smell of the hospital room, the lady at the nursing station yelling out he's gone.
Posted on 1/21/14 at 7:30 am to tigersownall
My FIL died in May 2010.My dad died in November 2010.
I was really close to my dad and we still talk about him and the kids still talk about papa.Its getting easier but the first few months were really hard for me since he wasnt there for hunting season,holidays and the birth of our little girl.It has gotten easier but time is the only thing that makes it easier.
My wife wasnt close to her dad and she grieved differently.I know she misses him but she doesnt speak of him often at all.
Everybody handles it differently.Just dont keep it bottled up.
I was really close to my dad and we still talk about him and the kids still talk about papa.Its getting easier but the first few months were really hard for me since he wasnt there for hunting season,holidays and the birth of our little girl.It has gotten easier but time is the only thing that makes it easier.
My wife wasnt close to her dad and she grieved differently.I know she misses him but she doesnt speak of him often at all.
Everybody handles it differently.Just dont keep it bottled up.
This post was edited on 1/21/14 at 7:39 am
Posted on 1/21/14 at 7:36 am to tigersownall
my father passed 4 years ago yesterday. he was military to the hilt and was never real emotional or affectionate. but when i look back, i realize that he was always right there. whenever i had a rough patch, he was right behind me and was always willing to offer a hand up. i don't think i ever realized how much i took from him or how much he influenced me until i was preparing for his eulogy. it was earth-shattering. that said, one of the things i took from him was the stiff upper lip. i'm never an overly emotional person. the hardest part was the first 12 hours. getting the phone call from my mom to come back to the hospital as quick as possible and then having to call my two brothers. it still makes my hands shake. however, by far the worst of it all was having to tell my kids (13 and 11 at the time). my kids saw my parents almost every day. thinking about that conversation brings tears to my eyes. i guess part of the reason that i held back emotion was to put up the strong front for them. i visit him on his birthday and veteran's day and make sure that i remember the "little" things that turned out to be life lessons.
This post was edited on 1/21/14 at 7:39 am
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