Funeral / Wake etiquette - Page 2 - TigerDroppings.com

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LSU alum wannabe
LSU Fan
Katy, TX
Member since Jan 2004
12164 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


"I am sorry."

That's it. Anything else sounds rehearsed, and possibly stupid. "Stay strong"? Who said they were weak? "It's gonna be alright/get better."? Nope. They are still gonna be dead.

Also depends on how close you were to the person and the deceased. My closest friend through grade school and college had his Dad just pass. I stayed over at their house and camped out with him and his parents more than I can recall. I didn't SAY a word. Just a good "man hug" with the hand shake and back slap was all that was needed. It ALMOST got him going but he choked them down. To say anything would have been mean to me and felt like I was trying to get a cry out of him.






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BRgetthenet
Golf Board Smash Lab™ CEO
Member since Oct 2011
58181 posts
 Online 

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


What? Not really....it pretty much kills any mood to roll in the hay.





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OMLandshark
Ole Miss Fan
Member since Apr 2009
37499 posts
 Online 

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


quote:

I agree...I believe in God and my faith is what held me together last year when we lost our baby son, but I did not appreciate people telling me "well God just needed him more than you do right now"...just idiotic...some people just can't help themselves


I'm very sorry for your loss.






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Jim Rockford
LSU Fan
Member since May 2011
33593 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


If they're you're best friend in the whole world, maybe. If not, just express your sympathy and move on down the line.





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Rouge
USA Fan
deep in dem backchannels
Member since Oct 2004
95521 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


Expressing sympathy is fine, but pretty much pointless at that time. Your being there shows that much.

Only one thing needs to be said.

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to contact me."

They have tons of support now. It is a month from now when the world mves on while their world still feels shattered that you can be the most helpful.



This post was edited on 2/2 at 11:35 am


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HubbaBubba
LSU Fan
RIP - los angeles tiger
Member since Oct 2010
7862 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


Just wail,

"Why?! Why?! Why?!...... Why couldn't it have been Peej?! "

And then move on.






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Jim Rockford
LSU Fan
Member since May 2011
33593 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


quote:

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to contact me."


That puts the burden on them to ask. Better is to think of something you knows needs doing and do it for them.






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Spankum
LSU Fan
Miss-sippi
Member since Jan 2007
31428 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


I have lost a good number of loved ones...your condolences will be remembered and appreciated....but believe me, there is nothing encouraging or inspirational that you could say that won't seem like you are trying to minimalize their loss....

Stick with offering your condolences and let them know that you are there for them if they need anything ....



This post was edited on 2/2 at 11:43 am


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YogaPants
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2008
1549 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette








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Rouge
USA Fan
deep in dem backchannels
Member since Oct 2004
95521 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


Agree to disagree, and that is ok





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IonaTiger
Iona Fan
The Commonwealth Of Virginia
Member since Mar 2006
26270 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


At my Dad’s wake one of my sisters got me good. The rest of the family and many friends were already in the room. Just as my sister and I were entering the room (timing it perfectly) she looked at me and said, “You know, we’re half orphans now.” Well, I started laughing out loud just as I crossed the threshold of the room. A group of nuns looked at me in astonishment. It was pretty embarrassing when I had to introduce myself as the eldest child. My Dad would have loved it.

OP, just express your condolences.






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NorthshoreTiger76
LSU Fan
Madisonville LA
Member since May 2009
34393 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


Hey is not hello just say hello





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Lookin4Par
Colorado State Fan
Boulder, CO
Member since Jun 2012
857 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


Get eye to eye with them, frown your lips, hold their head firmly as if to embrace then say in a whispering voice with saliva flying, " I know what you did you bastard", and walk away.


On second thought...



This post was edited on 2/2 at 1:16 pm


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JAMAC2001
LSU Fan
Upstate, NY
Member since Jan 2013
1171 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


quote:

Get eye to eye with them, frown your lips, hold their head firmly as if to embrace then say in a whispering voice with saliva flying, " I know what you did you bastard", and walk away.


Dude, a little harsh for a grandmother to take.






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MrSmith
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2009
2697 posts

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


Wow bro





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BrotherEsau
Member since Aug 2011
1906 posts
 Online 

re: Funeral / Wake etiquette


A lot of people I'e been close to have died (though no immediate family members). When my aunt died, I was 15 (well, she was immediate family). She was my best friend. People kept telling me to "be strong for your mother" and shite like that. Really started to get to me, because her death fricked me up pretty good. I ended up getting completely 100% shit-faced at our family Christmas Eve, two months after she died, and just completely lost my shite.

point is, say you're sorry and move on. If you talk to them out of the line, talk about the dead person, and ask if you can do anything for them. Oh, and don't say "how have you been" to someone you havent seem in a while. Awkward.






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