Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage | Page 7 | TigerDroppings.com
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Phate
New Orleans Saints Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2006
9838 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage

My fiancé and I are getting married in November. We've started putting together a financial plan outlining where we're going to put disposable income and how much extra we're going to put towards our house. Since so many marriages end because of money issues it's a good idea to make sure both of you are on the same page.


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TulaneUVA
Virginia Fan
Member since Jun 2005
21215 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

joint account for joint expenses

individual accounts for your own money.

paychecks go into individual accounts.

each person contributes equally to the joint account every pay day

works perfectly


Not married yet but this will be my proposal from the start. I may offer that the joint account can be funded from unequal portions dependant on differences in income or some other determination. But this system seems the most fair IMO


Venelar
LSU Fan
The AP
Member since Oct 2010
399 posts
Online

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Without reading the whole thread. Talk now. Try and find a Dave Ramsey class (financial peace university) and do it. Even if you dont believe in all the Ramsey hype it'll get on the same page money-wise.
This post was edited on 1/18 at 2:58 pm


warr09
LSU Fan
Georgia by way of Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2013
745 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
I have been married twice. First one failed due to multiple issues. One major issue being money. It lasted 11 months.

I have been married to my second wife going on 6 years. Both of us make good money, although she makes almost double what I make. Having money helps a relationship, it keeps the minor issue from snowballing into MAJOR issues. We don't use a bank. We have two money market accounts through Edward Jones. One is for life in general, it was in her name when we got married and decided it was easier to just leave it as is. We then started a joint account, both of us have access to it. That being said, we live off our credit card and pay it off every month. We have never had a fight about money and probably never will. We did however discuss our debt before marriage and also our life goals. We have enough money in our emergency fund to pay all of our bills for 7 months. All vehicles are paid for in cash. All this and I have not seen a paycheck in 5 years. She monitors everything and I could not care less what she spends.....again I know her goals and she knows the only way to reach them is to save money. It works.
It also helps that she is EXTREMELY tight with money.

Moral of my story, have the talk. Establish goals. Not sure if one of your goals is to have kids. Kids cost a lot to bring into this world as well as it costs a lot to raise them. We pay $1000 a month for daycare alone for two children.


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lsu480
LSU Fan
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
79635 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Be a man, make all of the money and control the finances yourself.


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bigpetedatiga
LSU Fan
Alexandria, LA
Member since Aug 2009
5818 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Just my opinion, if you are not open to sharing everything and trusting this person completely, then maybe you aren't ready to marry.

Not trying to be ugly, just honest.


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brass2mouth
LSU Fan
Member since Jul 2007
14109 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
If she makes more than you, joint checking...if not, separate.


jmarto1
LSU Fan
Houma, LA
Member since Mar 2008
15602 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

If she makes more than you, joint checking...if not, separate.


This is unfortunately accurate. To answer the OP question we would really need to know more about her upbringing. If you're giving someone who has grown up poor access to money then you will be screwed. If she grew up learning how to manage money you have a good chance of being all right.

CSB Moment:

Had an issue where a woman's card was initially charged incorrectly. The payment was voided and it was explained that the approval will still show on her account for 48-72 hours but no money will be taken out. Obviously call us if it does. She keeps calling for the next few days saying the money has been taken out. Over the next couple days we keep trying to explain to her that money has not been taken out. Her bank tries to explain to her that money has not been taken out. Tells both of us we are wrong. I notice the name on the card is her husband's. I ask her if she has ever had her own card? No. Have you ever had a bank account? Just a savings. Then how are you telling me and the bank that we are wrong?

Tl;Dr I know but this is a very common occurrence where women who follow the traditional roles do not have a clue how to manage money.


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Fat and Happy
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2013
3384 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Why did you wait till right before you got married to have this talk?


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deltaland
Ohio State Fan
Member since Mar 2011
26642 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Women have half the money and all the pussy. So it isn't long before they have all the money
This post was edited on 1/18 at 7:11 pm


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roscoe mike
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2009
988 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
The structure of the account(s) is less important IMO. The key is transparency and access. My wife and I have been married 20+ years and have joint and separate accounts but we both have access to all the accounts. And we always discuss whatever purchases we make before hand. It has worked great for us.

In regard to having the talk, it's important to approach it in a relaxed, matter of fact manner. I'm sure your fiancé is interested in being financially responsible. Transparency is the key.


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mr. penguin
USA Fan
Member since Jun 2009
7050 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Community property state so it doesn't matter all that much.


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JabarkusRussell
Member since Jul 2009
9961 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
There was a thread on this years ago with a genius solution. I wish I still had it.


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BananaHammock
LSU Fan
Californication
Member since Aug 2011
8423 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
I just stopped in to reiterate how much I like your username.


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Boats n Hose
LSU Fan
NOLA
Member since Apr 2011
36872 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Does the money talk include talking about money shots?


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Gmorgan4982
LSU Fan
Member since May 2005
101712 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

You are in it together and responsible for everything together anyway.


Sounds like fun. I don't know what could ever go wrong.


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lighter345
New Orleans Pelicans Fan
Member since Jan 2009
10696 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
So is it uncommon for a regular john and jane couple to get a pre nup?

Like would it be insulting if I told my soon to be wife that I wanted a pre nup, I feel as if that would tell her that a divorce is inevitable. This is hypo I am not marrying anyone anytime soon, just wondering.


nola tiger lsu
SMU Fan
Member since Nov 2007
2601 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

we had a similiar talk 17 years ago. we got seperate checking accounts about 16 years ago and could not be happier. she buys what she wants and i do the same


This


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Northgate
LSU Fan
Member since Jul 2012
2527 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/23 at 7:47 am


Mung
LSU Fan
El-lick
Member since Aug 2007
6129 posts
Online

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Sounds like my ex. Every year I had to use my bonus to pay her taxes. Every 3-4 years we had to refi the house to pay off her credit card debt. She made good money, just spent every penny plus more. Forgot to mention her bankruptcy to me before the marriage.


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