Week 2, Lsu plays host to the Washington Huskies. The Huskies went 7-6 last year, garnering an impressive 0-4 record against teams ranked in the Top 25. Despite having C.Polk last year, they still were a slight lean to the pass vs run, 255/154 ypg. The major problems Washington had last year were not on the offensive side of the ball. Their defense took the short bus to the stadium, and everywhere else for that matter. And I'm not talking about Rainman, savant-retarded. No, they were a slobbering bunch of mongoloids taking a 15 passenger white van to WalMart, hold each other's hand in the parking lot even though your 25- type of retards. They ranked 108th in the nation in points allowed. On the ground they gave up a staggering 169 yards per game, while through the air they allowed 285.

They return 15 starters, including Keith Price, their Qb. Normally I'd say that's good. But there's a problem I noticed. 7 of those starters are on defense, so that's a huge negative. Another glaring negative is that Chris Polk (Undrafted, Signed)is gone, who accounted for 99% of their rushing attack. Much of their offensive line remains intact, and they are a large group, all 6'0-6"4" and 300-322 lbs. The one spot that they are still looking for a starter is a OT spot, which is just not what you want to have against LSU.

Positional Guide
QB- Keith Price is a decent QB. I forsee Mett and he being of comparible talent at this point in the season. Mett won't be getting run the frick over due to an OT with 1 game's worth of experience (Vs San Diego State no less). When KP gets injured, we may get to see Nick Montana play, Joe Montana's son.
HB- Extreme advantage Lsu. Sankey is not a good player at all, he couldn't run into the endzone if he was the only player on the field. Lsu features a four headed, soul devouring, baby ripping, a-hole incinerating, dog kicking, chainsaw cocked beast from the bowels of hell-rushing attack.
FB- Nobody cares.
WR- Washington returns two receivers with real game experience. They don't stand a chance in hell of catching anything this game. It's going to be a waiting game, for me, waiting to see how long it takes Eric Reid to break someone's collar bone. I look for Lsu to force the wideouts inside toward Minter, Reid and Loston, and then make them quit early. For Lsu, they will be matched against a middle of the pack secondary who all return for another year of getting their asses kicked in half.
TE - Washington uses their tight end a lot in the passing game. A.S.J. is actually Washington's leader returning pass catcher. Lsu mostly uses their TE's as blockers, so I have to give the advantage here to Washington, by a lot from what I saw in the Lsu Spring Game.
OL - Washington is going to find out early and often what the meaning of pain is. 4/5 of their starters return. The issue is that one of the two tackle spots has to be filled by a newbie. Here's a better way to put that... a first year starter for Washington, with only one game's experience has the pleasure of keeping either Barklingonious Mingo or Sam Montgomery, collectively both top 5 NFL prospects, from pounding Keith Price in the arse all game. On the other side, LSU's offensive line will be going against a defensive line that returns two starters, if you can call them that, who combined, made 27 tackles last year.

Defenses -
Lsu--- Washington
Iceburg--- The Titanic
Manny Pacquiao--- Glass Joe
Bolt of Lightning--- AA Battery
Sasha Grey--- Toothless Plank Rd hooker
12 Oz Filet--- Walmart $3 dogmeat steak
Core i7--- Celeron
Walking Dead--- Jersey Shore
Ye-Ye Fark Thread-- Another JJ Thread

Final Analysis -
There are games, and then there are bloodbaths. While Lsu and Washington may not hate each other, I still see this one getting ugly. Washington will not be able to run the ball due to their poor RB play. Lsu will get sporadic QB pressure and force many, many punts and turnovers. I look for Washington to keep it close for 20 mins, and then Lsu to pull away. The problem for Washington is that last year, the Tigers ran the gauntlet on the toughest schedule in college football history, forging themselves into warriors, 10 ft tall men among boys. Meanwhile Washington struggled to break .500 win% against a schedule so pussified by comparison, that they are going to be run off the field in every facet of the game, except TE play. When they limp back to the bus and hop their plane back to Washington, they'll be asking their coaches who the frick put Lsu on the schedule and why they couldn't back out. Tigers win, 89-10.

This post was edited on 9/12/12 at 3:41 pm