gather round rantards, its that special time of the year again. no not the time for your wife to dust off your john hennigan for the first time since christmas to show you why you puts up with your overweight, underpaid and irrelevant arse.

what you are about to read has been in the works since november. to be specific, since we got hog tied and had our shite PUSHED IN by bobby petrino. because come on, who you kidding frank, the peach bowl don’t mean shite at L-S-U. ive talked to players, current and former to get the insight on this year’s team. if you need someone to vouch for me i can reel off about a dozen usernames that will have my back.

without further adu- here is the driveman’s 2009 forcast for the 2009 lsu tigers:

washington - WIN

this is the little dog and pony show you’ve all been waiting for. washington won as many games as the lions did last season which isn’t a good start. epecially when you have a bunch of pissed off southern, athletes looking to make you bow down.

no this isnt the latest roster of DKE fratstars these are the men donning the colors for the huskers on saturday. have you seen chad jones?? have you seen ciron BLACK?? because i did everyday this summer and ill give you two adjectives to describe him.

vandy - WIN

if vandy comes to tiger stadium and beats us ill jump off the stadium its that simple.

U-LALA - WIN

no fenroy, no problem. last time i saw these goons in the tigers den the DORSASAURUS was using lanier coleman as a human mop. i expect more of the same.

@ MISS ST - WIN

what's the other thing better than a bye week in the SEC???

a SLY week

@ GEORGIA - LOSS

we haven't beaten georgia between the hedges since dinardo. i have inside information that two certain linebackers have this game circled but it won't be enough.

FLORIDA - LOSS

it would be great to win this one but if i had to pick between jesus and a tiger im going with jim cavizel everytime. ***LOCK OF THE YEAR***

AUBURN - WIN

chuck the turk gives us images of cecil collins, the good kind.

@ ALABAMA - WIN

reuben randle's coming out party, he told me this at the shell parking lot on nicholson.

LOUISIANA TECH - WIN

good to have a cakewalk game after some brutal SEC ball. tech might not even win a a game this year.

@ OLE MISS - LOSS

one of my mentors sean payton has taught me one thing in life: don't eat the cheese. the way they're talkin in oxford makes wisconsin look like a dairy queen. if the rebles get a couple of injuries we COULD swing this one, stay tuned for more.

ARKANSAS - WIN

these idiots can't read or write but always beat us in football, what the frick??? **REVENGE FACTOR GAME OF THE YEAR**

so there you have it 9-3 a good bounce back year but no cigar. more like a swisher and remember WITHOUT THE BADGE THEY A BITCH N A HALF, driveman OUT.

BONUS COVERAGE

since i was able to sit in on a few practices i thought id throw a bone at the rantards. whil i can't reveal too much. here is a possible play we will use this season.