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re: How to raise sons to be confident and successful today in a big city?

Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:01 am to
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65862 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:01 am to
Move to the Country
Have Livestock
Make the kids responsible for taking care of them

Profit
Posted by F1y0n7h3W4LL
Below I-10
Member since Jul 2019
1533 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:06 am to
Be the man you want them to be. They watch your every move.
Posted by Red Stick 55
Madisonville
Member since Oct 2012
384 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:09 am to
quote:

There is a confidence that comes from knowing you can whip 90% of people your age.


Agreed, but there is a superior level of confidence when do not need to exercise that option due to the level of respect and discipline you command.
Posted by Spasweezy
Unfortunately, Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
6621 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:16 am to
Tell them to ridicule the woke brigade.
Posted by LRB1967
Tennessee
Member since Dec 2020
15822 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:18 am to
Get involved in a local church. Make sure that your sons are solidly grounded in their faith. Encourage friendships with kids from families who share your values.
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
78957 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:21 am to
quote:

I want my sons to be products of their generation


Absolutely not. The influence of out hyper- feminized culture is overwhelming.. Remember , they are being conditioned to forgo play ( the single most important thing) fear risk and comply. That’s what I saw with mine. The weight of the entire culture, most significantly in school, is against them to make them mushier.I would take a different approach, take them somewhere in nature, without mom and sister, and DO physical character- building things. Focus on their masculine nature and building tradional character traits focused around leadership , ethics and integrity. Teach them the danger of going with the herd and the value of doing manly things with manly men. Let them get dirty and take risks.

All the sensitive stuff you talk about is easily accomplished IN the home . Sensitive parents raise sensitive kids. Relationships with family members and pets and some kind of moral instruction like church or moral/ ethical lessons through books and chores and specific things they need to do. As a parent of both, it’s much easier for a girl to thrive in the current climate. That’s why you have to be more INTENTIONAL with your sons.
Posted by Naked Bootleg
Member since Jul 2021
1845 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:24 am to
quote:

The school system is hard on boys. They cut out all the recess and then wonder why the boys are climbing the walls. There are fewer and fewer male teachers who would better understand how to deal with high strung boys. Rather than giving them textbooks, they give them 16 different apps to keep up. Guess who is less likely on average to have the organizational skills to handle that? There is a reason that girls are absolutely whipping boys asses in school, and it’s not because they are more intelligent.


As a father of boys: this is 100% correct. We had 50 minutes for recess when I was that age. Now, they get 20 or 30 and they spend 10 minutes of that time making the kids line up to go outside then back in.

And to add to your point: I never had a teacher under 30 years old until high school. The older men & women knew how to control the classroom. In contrast, my youngest didn’t have a teacher over 25 or so until high school. So they have bright-eyed girls fresh out of college, speaking to the kids like they are friends and they just don't have the understanding or experience necessary.

I was warned about the school counselor. She fancied herself as a on-the-spot psychiatrist. In her view, all the (normal) boys had some form of ADHD. As predicted, of course she thought mine did as well. I had it out with her and the principal and his 22 year old 2nd grade teacher. I decided to have him tested via the traditional route (with required input from his teacher) and guess what? No ADD or ADHD. The root problem was as pelicanpride described: with regard to boys, the curriculum implementation is a square peg / round hole situation.

That counselor was gone the next year. We called her “Lady Adderall”
This post was edited on 4/20/24 at 7:33 am
Posted by theOG
Member since Feb 2010
10516 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:33 am to
quote:

1. lead by example.
2. spend time with them.


This and do everything in your power to get them in a school that aligns with the way you live your life.
Posted by Bayou
CenLA
Member since Feb 2005
36890 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:44 am to
quote:

How to raise sons to be confident and successful today in a big city?

Not sure why "the big city" is singled out.
We need young boys to be young men again. Responsibility, accountability, etiquette, all the things instilled from a working rural farm.
If you want them successful in a big city teach them social media, video games, self absorbtion.
Posted by TygerTyger
Houston
Member since Oct 2010
9223 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:53 am to
Take them fishing, hunting, hiking, and camping. Get them outside in nature.

While you’re out there, talk to them. Teach them the importance of being a man and not a boy.

Have them read the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling. Then sit with them and talk about each line and what it means.

Most of the fricked up people in the world today are that way because of no interaction with their father.


IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

This post was edited on 4/20/24 at 7:59 am
Posted by Mariner
Mandeville, LA
Member since Jul 2009
1949 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:57 am to
Instill in him that if he embraces his masculinity, women will be lining up for an opportunity. There will be a smaller market of those men, and good women will want that.

You are a decent woman...do you go after the soyboy who brings emotional baggage or the protector who has none?

Make sure you instill in him that he makes no apologies for his upbringing, but also has a certain level of respect for other people's beliefs. Ensure that he stands true to his values.

I am a firm believer of putting him in a good school as a minor. That will be a big help for you.

Also, load him up with sports activities where he has to work as a team.
This post was edited on 4/20/24 at 7:59 am
Posted by bakersman
Shreveport
Member since Apr 2011
5718 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 7:59 am to
Tell him to act like a man. That’s all I got
Posted by SteveLSU35
Shreveport
Member since Mar 2004
13984 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:15 am to
Get out the big city and teach them the value of work. Hikes, fires, hunting, mowing, and anything else you can think of. The more men you have around them with kids their age the better.
Posted by RedlandsTiger
Greenwell Springs, LA
Member since Jan 2008
2945 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:17 am to
When they are small, read to them every night and then say prayers together before they go to sleep.
Tell them to always show up (that's 90 percent of life).
Teach them to always do their best.
Keep a positive attitude, good things will happen.
Play sports, they don't have to be the best just try their best. You learn more from losing than winning (how do you get better).
Join cubscouts then boysouts and make Eagle rank.
Volunteer, it's not all about them. Help other people, especially old folks and the disabled.
Keep them active with sports, scouts, school.
Take AP courses in HS, nothing less than a B.
Be involved with church and youth groups doing activities.
This is the formula we used with our 2 sons and they are both USAFA grads and pilots today.

Posted by Azkiger
Member since Nov 2016
21784 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:26 am to
quote:

Because that’s the reality, why fight the inevitable?


That's not what you originally said, you originally said you *wanted* them to be products of their generation.
Posted by Screaming Viking
Member since Jul 2013
4486 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:38 am to
quote:

1. Do not shelter them 2. Let them learn life lessons the hard way (be supportive, but don't intervene) 3. Get that fricking tablet/cellular device out of their face 4. Commit to being a full-time dad


This guy is doing right….IMHO.

It all starts with time. While everyone needs some space at times, too many people do not take pride in the product that is their children.

Time means they see how you treat your wife and your mother.
It takes a ton of time to be around but let them fail. Then even more time to ask them WHY they failed. FTR I almost never answer questions right away. They hate it, but those lessons are remembered.

Take the time to teach them how to use power tools, how to boil crawfish, shoot an animal, then clean it, then cook it. Lastly how to clean up after themselves. It is as easy as,”….come see, I need some help.”

Would like to buy a beer for bootleg and his kids.
Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
16243 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:42 am to
quote:


1. lead by example.
2. spend time with them.


3. Call anything they do “gay” unless it is sports or beer.

Signed,

Father of SECDragonmaster.

(I must admit it worked well for all of his sons)
Posted by Triggerr
Member since Jul 2013
1893 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:52 am to
Be a man and lead by example. I have two that just made 17 and they are by all accounts good kids on the right track. Good grades, have fun, but know when not to take it too far most of the time, hunt, fish, have a successful lawn/ landscape/ firewood business for highschool kids. We live in city but they drive trucks, wear boots. They don’t take shite off most, but know when to be respectful to adults regardless if they are wrong. Been known to wreck 4 wheelers, boats or a minor vehicle fender bender. Pretty much boys being allowed to be boys like I was and my friends were and we have all grown up to be successful strong backboned men.
Posted by nicholastiger
Member since Jan 2004
43015 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:54 am to
If you didn’t take the belt out and whip his a** when he was growing up there’s not much hope
Posted by Joecaster06
Salt Lake
Member since Oct 2016
508 posts
Posted on 4/20/24 at 8:55 am to
Get a good job and have fun when the time is right.
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