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re: Dudes dropping out of dating game.

Posted on 1/4/24 at 7:33 pm to
Posted by mattfromnj
New Jersey
Member since Mar 2020
572 posts
Posted on 1/4/24 at 7:33 pm to
Fwiw I think another part of the issue is that women no longer feel the need to settle. A lot of people in my parents generation and even younger got married because the woman needed some degree of financial stability since they usually made less money than men. Now it's different. There are hundreds of thousands of women with e-mail jobs in every major city, they make six figures or close to it, live in nice apartments, have their own social circle, travel, etc. They feel like they don't need to settle for a guy that they're not completely enamored with.

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board. It's just that back when they were younger women didn't have nearly as many options and were much more willing to settle down.
Posted by OKBoomerSooner
Member since Dec 2019
3134 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 12:29 am to
quote:

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board.

This describes my dad to a T and I say that with immense respect for him as a man and for what he accomplished. But he would have been eaten alive by these hoes today
Why I struggle to take seriously the older guys that try to weigh in on the modern dating scene. It’s not that they weren’t successful in their time or that they’re dumb or anything like that. It’s that if you haven’t lived it you have. No. Idea. how bad it is. Social media and a decade of young people having their lives shaped by the Internet has been as big a paradigm shift as the sexual revolution at 5x the pace.

You’re also spot on about the economic incentives. Way too many guys try to play by the old “husband material” playbook. Girls don’t need “husband material” anymore and frankly they don’t want it either. They want Prince Charming, they’ll put out for Johnny Badass, but they aren’t settling for Reliable Bradley anymore because they replaced him with a make-work salary.
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
14260 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 8:10 am to
quote:

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board


Laughable.

Those of us Gen X’er’s that read this roll our eyes just like we did when our kids told us “dad you don’t understand what it’s like to be in high school”….because we told our dads the same thing.

I’m so sorry that you’re the first generation ever that has to experience competition for dating women.
Posted by Dragula
Laguna Seca
Member since Jun 2020
4946 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 8:20 am to
quote:

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board. It's just that back when they were younger women didn't have nearly as many options and were much more willing to settle down.


Wrong... us Gex Xers had the stones to say F-it and make the move.

Funny... You kids today only date online because talking to women in person "makes you feel uncomfortable and weird."
Posted by EZE Tiger Fan
Member since Jul 2004
50396 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 8:44 am to
quote:

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board. It's just that back when they were younger women didn't have nearly as many options and were much more willing to settle down.


This is funny to read, honestly.

When my ex and I separated, I couldn't wait to go out and chase women 10-15 years younger than me. Know why? Because "men" today are soft as baby shite. My parents grew up poor, so they taught me a LOT of things growing up that "men" today didn't have to live through or experience. Great times create pussies.

When I started dating, I had MANY 28-35yo women tell me they wanted to date older men (I was 46) for the reason I stated above.

So yeah, we may not be as savvy with social media, but we are still fricking women your age and younger. Every single one of my friends that is single and close to 50 has a GF at least 10-15 years younger.

We were used to a thing called "competition". I had more trouble hooking up in college (and I tore it up in college) than I did as a single man almost 50.

Found the right one over a year ago and I'm done with this shite. LOL I did have a good time doing it though.
Posted by Porpus
Covington, LA
Member since Aug 2022
1667 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 9:17 am to
quote:

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board. It's just that back when they were younger women didn't have nearly as many options and were much more willing to settle down.



I've had the same thought. I wonder how much luck I'd have as a single man in 2023. The last time I had to play the field was ~2015, and while I did OK, things were definitely different from, say, 2005. The bar scene for singles in particular is dead and gone.

Another factor that I see is the decline of car culture. Adolescent girls and young women are attracted to maturity. The two big markers of male maturity in my youth were height and access to a car or truck. The latter has become irrelevant. You can't make up for being 5'8" by being the guy with the IROC-Z anymore.

That said, I think about 50% of incels could get some if they'd just lower their standards. They cling to this "looksmatch" idea, thinking "I'm more attractive than 40% of men so I should get a woman who's more attractive than 40% of women." Maybe things used to be more like that, but they're not that way now.
Posted by dewster
Chicago
Member since Aug 2006
25395 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 10:55 am to
quote:

Fwiw I think another part of the issue is that women no longer feel the need to settle. A lot of people in my parents generation and even younger got married because the woman needed some degree of financial stability since they usually made less money than men. Now it's different. There are hundreds of thousands of women with e-mail jobs in every major city, they make six figures or close to it, live in nice apartments, have their own social circle, travel, etc. They feel like they don't need to settle for a guy that they're not completely enamored with.

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board. It's just that back when they were younger women didn't have nearly as many options and were much more willing to settle down.



There is some truth to this. And I suspect that this may contribute to an even lower fertility rate in the US.

We are following Japan into that problem.
Posted by PrecedentedTimes
Member since Dec 2020
3128 posts
Posted on 1/5/24 at 11:03 am to
quote:

It sounds mean but I see a lot of guys that are about 50+ who are married with kids who if they'd been born 25 years later would be online on some incel board.


My grandfather is one of these. He got married at 21 to my grandma, who was 17. His first and only relationship, and their parents set up the first date.

Grandma passed away a few years ago and ever since then he reverted to his ‘old’ self (who nobody had ever witnessed) and now he’s awkward and slightly obtuse all the time; acts like an autist. At first I figured it was grieving but now I think that’s just who he’s always been, and my grandma kept him contained and mannerly.
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