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re: Has anyone here dealt with the onset of mental illness with their spouse?
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:54 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:54 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Meds for the win. Been married for 41 years and without her realizing she had an issue and needed meds (prozac) we wouldn't have made 41 weeks.
Seriously, depression is real, especially with females.
Seriously, depression is real, especially with females.
1
Posted on 1/3/24 at 7:38 pm to Northshore Aggie
Multiple spiderman meme.
Good luck man!
Good luck man!
Posted on 1/3/24 at 7:44 pm to Happygilmore
quote:
Multiple spiderman meme
Lol what do you mean
Posted on 1/3/24 at 7:50 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Don’t try to hide it or protect her. Don’t be embarrassed. Bring in as many friends and family into fold as possible, especially from her side.
Otherwise, you will feel trapped and alone. Help is available and better days are possible, but there isn’t a magic pill or therapy session that will resolve it overnight.
Otherwise, you will feel trapped and alone. Help is available and better days are possible, but there isn’t a magic pill or therapy session that will resolve it overnight.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 8:24 pm to duckblind56
quote:
Seriously, depression is real, especially with females.
Why is that the case? Hormones?
Posted on 1/4/24 at 8:40 am to PetroBabich
quote:
Did she go extra crazy after the divorce or did you just realize how nuts she was once you were free?
Really both.
One of the big things I realized almost right away was I am a generally happy person. Over the years she sucked that happiness out of me.
Looking back, when we were dating and every member of her family I met - I mean every, single, one said “you must be super patient” I should have realized it.
Posted on 1/4/24 at 8:48 am to Nelson Biederman IV
My ex wife went through a lot after we were in a car accident. She was seriously injured, and it just wouldn’t heal, eventually requiring surgery and a lot of rehab. She couldn’t use her right arm much, and needed a lot of help being cared for and had to rely on me for almost everything for over a year. As a result, she fell way behind in school and fell into depression.
After she graduated, her career slapped her in the face, and she couldn’t handle it. She started drinking a lot in secret and hiding it. I could tell things were wrong, but she wouldn’t talk about it. I tried to get her to go to therapy or even just talk to her parents, and she refused. She started talking about suicide subtly, then got super abusive, trying to take everything out on me.
I eventually convinced her to get help, and she got through it, quit drinking, changed her job, stopped cutting, made some serious habit changes, and divorced me for the guy she was cheating on me with. No good deeds go unpunished, lol
After she graduated, her career slapped her in the face, and she couldn’t handle it. She started drinking a lot in secret and hiding it. I could tell things were wrong, but she wouldn’t talk about it. I tried to get her to go to therapy or even just talk to her parents, and she refused. She started talking about suicide subtly, then got super abusive, trying to take everything out on me.
I eventually convinced her to get help, and she got through it, quit drinking, changed her job, stopped cutting, made some serious habit changes, and divorced me for the guy she was cheating on me with. No good deeds go unpunished, lol
Posted on 1/4/24 at 10:11 pm to MyRockstarComplex
Hormones and for some reason, it just seems depression is more prevalent with females. It could be men hide it better, who knows.
Posted on 1/4/24 at 11:02 pm to duckblind56
Women get attention and sympathy when they talk about their feelings.
Men get shunned, discarded, and/or disrespected when they talk about theirs.
Men and women commit suicide at similar rates, but men are FAR more likely to succeed.
Men get shunned, discarded, and/or disrespected when they talk about theirs.
Men and women commit suicide at similar rates, but men are FAR more likely to succeed.
Posted on 1/4/24 at 11:08 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Did you read CAD703X’s thread?
Posted on 1/4/24 at 11:29 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
Bitches be cray cray
This post was edited on 1/4/24 at 11:29 pm
Posted on 1/5/24 at 1:21 am to Nelson Biederman IV
My wife is 65 and has been diagnosed with subcortial dementia. She is adopted so we have no idea of her family background. She is aware of the diagnosis. She's lost almost all independence and cries a lot. She's still safe around the house but I can't take her somewhere and then leave her alone. We have put all of our legal affairs in order. We've been married 40 years and of course we're still together. This is just part of the deal .... in sickness and in health. Two days ago she had a full hip replacement and I'm sitting in a hospital room now at 2 am in the morning making sure she doesn't try to get out of bed. It's hard.
Posted on 1/5/24 at 7:53 am to Kmit58
Prayers for you and your wife. Can’t imagine how difficult that is for you
Posted on 1/5/24 at 9:01 am to Kmit58
All the best to you. Angels on earth.
Posted on 1/5/24 at 9:15 am to kingbob
quote:
My ex wife went through a lot after we were in a car accident. She was seriously injured, and it just wouldn’t heal, eventually requiring surgery and a lot of rehab. She couldn’t use her right arm much, and needed a lot of help being cared for and had to rely on me for almost everything for over a year. As a result, she fell way behind in school and fell into depression.
After she graduated, her career slapped her in the face, and she couldn’t handle it. She started drinking a lot in secret and hiding it. I could tell things were wrong, but she wouldn’t talk about it. I tried to get her to go to therapy or even just talk to her parents, and she refused. She started talking about suicide subtly, then got super abusive, trying to take everything out on me.
I eventually convinced her to get help, and she got through it, quit drinking, changed her job, stopped cutting, made some serious habit changes, and divorced me for the guy she was cheating on me with. No good deeds go unpunished, lol
Damn bob, what a wild ride. I hope you are doing well now.
Posted on 1/5/24 at 9:43 am to Nelson Biederman IV
Every f-en day
Posted on 1/5/24 at 9:46 am to LegendInMyMind
quote:
her stepdad (had been married to her mom for a decade or so, and wasn't far from leaving her for good) came to my house. We talked for over an hour and he just told me what it was like.
Damn. Good for him to give you the talk. Couldn’t have been an easy decision.
Posted on 1/5/24 at 9:51 am to Kmit58
Sorry to hear.
Prayers for you and her.
Prayers for you and her.
Posted on 1/5/24 at 10:19 am to Northshore Aggie
quote:
many people dont even know what BPD is at all. the symptoms can indeed be very covert. it's not that it goes unnoticed, per se, it's that you dont know what the hell is wrong and what is going on in the relationship. you might even think you are the one who is crazy. it's wild man.
The thing with BPD is, it feasts on the well-intentioned and there’s often no escaping it other than literally/physically doing so.
A loving supportive spouse that isn’t aware or knowledgeable about it, or otherwise mentally/emotionally strong, will get torn up, feeling incompetent, worthless, futile, and worse. An a-hole would fare far better dealing with it.
Posted on 1/5/24 at 10:31 am to SpotCheckBilly
JFC.
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