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A couple of anti-jokes to finish your day

Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:56 pm
Posted by floyd of pink
Metry
Member since Nov 2011
3270 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:56 pm
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None. Historians believe that pirates were most likely illiterate.

What did Buzz Lightyear say to Woody?
A lot. There were 4 movies, and a couple of short films too.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
One says, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one says, "Sure is. Probably about 350 degrees Fahrenheit."
Posted by EmmittLBrown
Member since Oct 2023
275 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:59 pm to
frick you.

That's my anti-laugh.
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
150961 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:01 pm to
A termite walks into a bar and says "Hey, where's the bar tender?"
Posted by Snoopy04
Republic of Texas
Member since Aug 2015
3016 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:02 pm to
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
150961 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:02 pm to
What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?






A dead poodle, split in two.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124711 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:03 pm to
Why was 6 afraid of 7?




Because 7 was a serial rapist with a penchant for torture.
Posted by jcaz
Laffy
Member since Aug 2014
15803 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:05 pm to
A young woman approaches a bald man at a speed dating event and asks him…. “So what’s your sign?”
He says “Cancer. I have cancer.”

How’d I do?
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
67023 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:06 pm to




What did the sunflower say to the crow?






Sunflowers can’t talk you fricking idiot.
This post was edited on 11/15/23 at 3:07 pm
Posted by WB Davis
Member since May 2018
2121 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:07 pm to
Posted by Cdawg
TigerFred's Living Room
Member since Sep 2003
59630 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:09 pm to
Two penguins are in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?"
The other says, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"
Posted by Rex Feral
Athens
Member since Jan 2014
11485 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:11 pm to
The pirate joke was funny
Posted by Upperdecker
St. George, LA
Member since Nov 2014
30655 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:12 pm to
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

They treat each other civilly and go about their business.
Posted by Fat Fingers
Member since Nov 2010
334 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:14 pm to
quote:

Two penguins are in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other says, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"


I thought the answer was going to be "I don't know. I have to swallow it first."
This post was edited on 11/15/23 at 3:15 pm
Posted by yakster
Member since Mar 2021
1496 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:15 pm to
What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? Aye matey…
Posted by madmaxvol
Infinity + 1 Posts
Member since Oct 2011
19229 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:17 pm to
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. After that, they covered the bar with high-visibility yellow and black tape so nobody else would be injured by it.
Posted by Cdawg
TigerFred's Living Room
Member since Sep 2003
59630 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:17 pm to
What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Many think it's Arrrrrr but 'tis the sea.
Posted by Bazzatcha
Member since May 2017
751 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:18 pm to
Why does your mom charge so much for a blowjob? Everytime I ask her she gets choked up.
This post was edited on 11/15/23 at 3:21 pm
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
65974 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:18 pm to
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably...

Posted by floyd of pink
Metry
Member since Nov 2011
3270 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:21 pm to
Man some of y’all really don’t understand the concept of an anti-joke huh?
Posted by 0
Member since Aug 2011
16660 posts
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:25 pm to
How do you make a plumber cry?

You kidnap his family

What is red and tastes like blue paint?

Red paint
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