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re: Follow up re: my imminent divorce UPDATE PG 20
Posted on 8/25/23 at 11:01 pm to TexasTiger08
Posted on 8/25/23 at 11:01 pm to TexasTiger08
Let the sadness turn into something else. Stop giving her the power and see her for what she is right now...your enemy. THAT will get you through the next few months. Like others have said, go to the gym. Every single rep, think about how you're going to become the man that she isn't good enough for. Gaining 15 lbs of solid muscle will do wonders for your confidence. Believe me, divorce is a STRONG gym motivator. Been there my friend.
0
Posted on 8/25/23 at 11:05 pm to lsu777
Woah Nelly! I'm all about the Gainz but let's not put the cart before the horse here. The baw needs a blood panel, Trt and in body scans before he goes to the gym to hurt himself.
Posted on 8/25/23 at 11:52 pm to Walt OReilly
quote:
You will never heal. It’s been 11 years for me and not a day goes by I don’t think of her. Only by the grace of god and my parents I haven’t put a bullet in my head. Once my parents pass I’ll probably bow out. You’ll never get over her despite what all these douchebags say. fricking randoms are great…for the night
Jesus Christ.
Posted on 8/25/23 at 11:55 pm to TexasTiger08
Yo man what area you live?
Posted on 8/26/23 at 12:43 am to TexasTiger08
Where you live in Texas bro? If you’re near me, we can grab a beer sometime. Getcha out for a bit.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 12:55 am to BeachDude022
This dude needs emergency pussy. The best way to get over someone… is to get under someone else. Were there kids involved? If so the child support will hurt the next few years but when you have moved on to a better situation you will find it funny that you were so broke up about it now. You will wind up in a spot where you wouldn’t take her back if she were begging. Believe me she has already moved on. These bitches don’t move on till they have their landing spot mapped out, so give up fantasies of reuniting. They are fantasies. What would you like to do, be, accomplish, see, explore? Focus on those. A time in the not too distant future will come and you will kick yourself for torturing yourself now. And you ARE doing it to yourself… because that bitch ain’t the slightest bit but worried.
This post was edited on 8/26/23 at 1:33 am
Posted on 8/26/23 at 1:01 am to Lester Earl
quote:
Lester Earl
You’re such a fricking tool
Posted on 8/26/23 at 1:10 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
Strangely enough, this place seems to be as good as any for therapy. Things have been worse lately. I find myself asking God to take me. I find myself even struggling to believe. I’m not a saint, but in general I think I’m a good person. I try to do right. I wonder what I did to deserve all this. My will to keep going is diminishing.
This time in 2011 I was Going through 2nd divorce while also filing bankruptcy. I resorted to delivering pizzas as a second job just to pay tuition for 4 kids in private school. The child support and other bills were crushing while the silence in a shitty apartment was deafening.
I didn't want to live any more. That was 100% how I felt.
While working those late nights delivering pizza on dark back roads of Ascension Parish, I genuinely wished a drunken idiot would run a red light or stop sign and put me out of my misery. The thought process was that my kids would get my life insurance and something from Papa Johns for it happening on the clock. I hated my life so bad but loved the kids so much, this made perfect sense to a broken man. But I didn't die. And I kept getting out of bed in the morning and going to my 'real' job all day and then pizza delivery at night.
It took about 18 months to finally experience a glimmer of the optimism that ran through my veins and defined me for most of my adult life. It came from so far out of 'left field' I didn't even notice it for a week. But it was there to stay. And things started looking up.
Yesterday I helped move my son into his dorm at college. So proud of the young man he's become.
Then tonight I went to watch my youngest two daughters dance and cheer for the first high school football game of the season. They've turned out so healthy and smart. And both of them possess that perpetual optimism gene I so proudly claim.
All I can say is that I'm awfully glad a drunken idiot didn't do me that "favor" and "put me out of my misery" 12 years ago. Life is great.
Even something simple as this dumb cat poster that was on the walls of our classrooms in the 1980s and is now a popular meme is still a great message. This is what you need to focus on.
This post was edited on 8/26/23 at 2:09 am
Posted on 8/26/23 at 1:14 am to mikelbr
Come here you big man I’m gonna hug you
Posted on 8/26/23 at 1:15 am to BRgetthenet
quote:
Come here you big man I’m gonna hug you
I call little spoon.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 1:18 am to BeachDude022
quote:
Where you live in Texas bro?
South Texas
Posted on 8/26/23 at 1:58 am to TexasTiger08
I go months without ever thinking about my ex-wife. You'll get there over time. Your life story has only begun to be written. The best part about that is that you are the author. Being sad or upset is to be expected, but don't let that define you - you control that. Do things that keep you being who you want to be going forward, and things around you will improve.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 2:03 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
South Texas
One last bit of advice. If you're close to Galveston, go skydiving. I went a few weeks ago and let me tell you, brother, any thoughts of not wanting to live literally go out the window when you jump out of that plane. That would be one hell of a wake up call for you and a badass story for later. Do it!
Posted on 8/26/23 at 2:24 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’m about to make a 2 hour drive and I’m on the verge of tears. Your solution probably isn’t the same as mine
Nothing about this is easy. Don't let people say just forget about her. It doesn't work like that. I went through what you're going through.
6 to 8 months of therapy. That's what it took for my upside down world to turn right side up. She taught me how to live without my ex when I wanted my marriage to work. Once I was all in, the light came on.
You're in a bad spot. We've been there already. Now it's your turn to overcome what we've done.
I don't look back on what could have been, maybe if I did this or that... It's over, it's history, it was how my life was supposed to be.
Do not date or frick another woman until your mind is right. It won't help you at all. You’ll make it through this.
I had to go through it without many friends or family around except occasionally which wasn't often. Im proud of what I've done.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 2:30 am to saintsfan1977
quote:
Do not date or frick another woman until your mind is right. It won't help you at all.
I was with you until this. We can’t ask the kid to join monastery.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 2:40 am to TexasTiger08
Do something for me.
Realize you are getting two views on this subject in this thread. All the assholes telling you to man up are not your friend.
It is apparent that YOU cared and still do for this person. That is how it is suppose to be. If you break up with your wife and it doesn't hurt like hell then you are probably a shitty person.
Time will help with the healing. That doesn't mean that it will be a long steady climb. It might get worse before it gets better. But know that it 100% WILL get less and less painful.
Pray a lot and then pray some more. Your kids are kids right now but they will grow up. You need to take the high road and be available to them. Available, to a prison guard forced on them. Your job if they stay with you will still be to be a loving parent and that means discipline. Don't let them walk all over you.
Never speak negatively of your wife/ex in front of them.
IF you wife is the problem, IF, then it is likely the kids will side with her for a few years. Later they will see the truth, whatever that is. If you took your life and then they learn SHE was the problem then they might just follow your lead or at a minimum turn the own lives into shite, knowing that there mom has issues and that the best thing in their lives (you) are gone forever.
Don't let that happen.
It WILL be hard but the struggle is something that you CAN overcome. It won't be easy. Accept that. Prepare for the long climb out of your hole.
You can do it.
Realize you are getting two views on this subject in this thread. All the assholes telling you to man up are not your friend.
It is apparent that YOU cared and still do for this person. That is how it is suppose to be. If you break up with your wife and it doesn't hurt like hell then you are probably a shitty person.
Time will help with the healing. That doesn't mean that it will be a long steady climb. It might get worse before it gets better. But know that it 100% WILL get less and less painful.
Pray a lot and then pray some more. Your kids are kids right now but they will grow up. You need to take the high road and be available to them. Available, to a prison guard forced on them. Your job if they stay with you will still be to be a loving parent and that means discipline. Don't let them walk all over you.
Never speak negatively of your wife/ex in front of them.
IF you wife is the problem, IF, then it is likely the kids will side with her for a few years. Later they will see the truth, whatever that is. If you took your life and then they learn SHE was the problem then they might just follow your lead or at a minimum turn the own lives into shite, knowing that there mom has issues and that the best thing in their lives (you) are gone forever.
Don't let that happen.
It WILL be hard but the struggle is something that you CAN overcome. It won't be easy. Accept that. Prepare for the long climb out of your hole.
You can do it.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 3:34 am to lsunurse
quote:
lsunurse
Posted on 8/26/23 at 4:59 am to Capt ST
quote:
was with you until this. We can’t ask the kid to join monastery.
Sex won't help him at all if he's depressed and missing his wife. He can wait until his mental health is better.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 5:27 am to saintsfan1977
quote:
Sex won't help him at all if he's depressed and missing his wife. He can wait until his mental health is better.
He needs to take the first step which is to stop feeling sorry for himself and take a decision that moves him in a positive direction. Posting on the OT on a Friday night so he can hear othe people's misery won't accomplish that. It is just a means of facilitating his misery.
Posted on 8/26/23 at 5:30 am to saintsfan1977
You’re going through the 7 stages of grief. This is all completely normal.
Sounds like you’re on stage 5 right now.
As someone that’s divorced (and other divorced guys on here would agree), you need to believe that things are going to be better very soon. You’re in the “horrible shitty part” right now.
Look up the 7 stages of grief. It’s surprising how accurate they are.
Sounds like you’re on stage 5 right now.
As someone that’s divorced (and other divorced guys on here would agree), you need to believe that things are going to be better very soon. You’re in the “horrible shitty part” right now.
Look up the 7 stages of grief. It’s surprising how accurate they are.
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