S's all comrade XI

Not necessarily the best XI, just a team full of pure comrades, selection based upon a wide range of parameters.

Gk: David Stockdale -- Brighton

Listen, the seagulls have been building something special for a few years now and this guy has been a lynchpin. He's probably the best keeper in sorry I forgot what I was saying.


Rb: Gaetano Berardi -- Leeds

The modern day Laurent Robert, which is to say he will literally give you the clothes off his...legs.

Cb: Johan Djourou -- Hamburg

Hamburg, Louisiana? Mais non cher, the German one. This guy used to play for Arsenal and was suffering from tCurse of Pascal Cygan/Oleg Luzhny until a move to the burgersligue or whatever the frick it's called. He has the type of hair I'd have if I was an african-swiss. (Is that a thing?)

Cb: Chris Smalling -- Manchester United

Mike

Lb: Ross Wallace -- Sheffield Wednesday

He played for Celtic so probably pissed Bhoy off at some point. He was awesome in fifa 2005 and is Scottish and has tattoos and is probably a dick.


Rm: Will Hughes -- Derby

Since Dirk Kuyt is somewhere I have no idea where, Hughes fills the critical "Link from Zelda" lookalike role.

Just opened a beer.

Cm: Michael Carrick -- Manchester United

A true comrade rocks a skullet at some point in his or her life. Bitch, did I mention we are going 4-4-2?

Cm: Lewis Cook -- Bournemouth

Lewis, we could have been a thing, especially after Alex Mowatt was sold, but, nevertheless, you're still a comrade.

Lm: DaMarcus Beasley -- Houston Dynamo

Remember that goal in the 2003 confederations cup vs Turkey? We're going back to those days, hence a more attacking role for Run DMB.

St: Billy Sharp -- Sheffield United

Baw, I have no doubt you would have banged in the goals like Personality bangs tWest coast sloots if you played on this year's Leeds team. Instead you were receiving balls from the tGOATpionship versions of wondo and the mizzou guy that hates Leicester.

St: Antoine Greizmann -- Atletico Madrid

You can't be that sexy and not be a comrade. Fluent in spanish AND French and looks like he's from Lake Charles.

Thank you.