Ronna McDaniel Hired As DNC Chair

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The former chairwoman of the Republican National Committee will not remain unemployed for long following her resignation, as Ronna McDaniel has been hired at the Democratic National Committee due to her extensive experience in defeating Republicans.

After building an impressive resume of keeping Republican candidates from being elected to office at nearly every level of government, McDaniel was quickly recruited by the DNC after announcing her upcoming resignation as head of the RNC.

"It's an opportunity to keep doing what I do best," McDaniel said. "I've developed proven strategies that get Democrats elected, and I have every intention of continuing to do that in my new position. If my uncle Mitt Romney taught me anything, it's that with enough hard work and determination, you can make sure Democrats always remain in power. I believe the damage I've done to Republicans in 2020, 2022, and already in 2024 speaks for itself."

Democrats are confident that McDaniel's track record will give the party exactly the edge it needs if attempts to rig future elections hit any snags. "She's perfect for this job," said one prominent Democrat strategist. "No one has been able to consistently keep Republicans from winning elections like she has. It's beyond impressive. She obviously has a gift for it, and it's exactly what we need on our team."

At publishing time, McDaniel was already preparing to utilize her tried and true methods of publicly bashing the most popular Republican candidates and pushing voters toward supporting Democrats.