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Message
If Trump shot Michael Cohen in broad daylight
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:44 am
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:44 am
Here's what Republicans would say
Humor from the Guardian
The New York Times:
Breaking news: in an eerie echo of Donald Trump’s infamous campaign trail remark – “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters” – many witnesses report, and CCTV footage obtained by the Times confirms, that early this morning the president drew a handgun on his former lawyer Michael Cohen and shot him dead on a street in midtown Manhattan.
House speaker Paul Ryan:
“If these reports are true – I emphasize IF – then yes, I’m very concerned. I don’t think the president should be killing people in broad daylight in front of Tiffany’s. But I’m not a legal expert, I could be wrong.”
White House press secretary Sarah Sanders:
Associated Press: “Ms Sanders, did the president shoot his former lawyer in an effort to stop him from testifying against the president?”
Sarah Sanders: “No, he did not.”
AP: “Are you saying that the shooting was not motivated by Mr Cohen’s recent plea deal, or rather that the president did not shoot him?”
SHS: “You’ve got my answer, Jim. No, no, no.”
AP: “Ms Sanders, I’m still not clear what –”
SHS: “The answer is no. No as in no. N. O. It’s these kinds of questions that have turned the American people against the press.”
CNN:
Anderson Cooper: “We’re seeing incredible images here. The president being taken into custody. Kellyanne, what can you tell us?”
Kellyanne Conway: “I’m not going to comment on rumors, Anderson.”
AC: “Kellyanne, these are not rumors. The president has handcuffs around his wrists. You’re seeing the same footage we are.”
KC: “You’re free to see things your way. I have an alternative perception.”
AC: “But how can you possibly –”
KC: “Let’s agree to disagree, Anderson!”
Senator Mitch McConnell:
“People die every day in this country. I’m not going to let myself get sidetracked by these distractions.”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“Back from GREAT chat with members of NYPD--the finest! Brand new police station. Very NICE. They want a wall too. Was NEVER taken into custody. FAKE NEWS cooked up by Crooked Hillary and FAILING NYT and CONFLICTED Mueller! Keep our borders strong – JUST SAY NO to murdering and raping Mexicans.”
Rudy Giuliani, president’s attorney:
“Let’s get our facts straight. The president was never taken into custody except for maybe around six hours. He has not been charged with murder and won’t be charged with murder because murder isn’t always murder. The constitution is very clear on this: charging the president with a crime is a crime.”
White House press briefing points:
“First of all, the president was not in Manhattan at the time of the shooting. Second, he was watching TV on the 26th floor of Trump Tower when the shots were fired. Third, while he didn’t have the opportunity to save the students at the Parkland school, this time the president was able to rush into a busy city street and thereby save dozens of lives from a distraught and possibly deranged lawyer.”
Words on Target umbrella held by Melania Trump, first lady:
“I really do care.”™
Homeland security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen:
“At this moment I can confirm that one of the alleged eyewitnesses to the shooting is a tourist from Mexico. Certainly we need to ask what a tourist from Mexico was doing in front of Tiffany’s at the time of this alleged incident. Now can I please eat my taco in peace?”
Alex Jones, Infowars:
“What I want to know is why hasn’t anyone mentioned that Chuck Schumer and Hillary Clinton were NOWHERE to be seen at the time of the shooting? Are you telling me that’s mere coincidence? C’mon! And why haven’t the NYPD and the DEEP STATE FBI looked into this? What else aren’t they looking into?”
Sean Hannity:
“What about the thousands of bills that Chuck Schumer has killed? What about Hillary’s murder of Vince Foster? And the Democrats dare talk about justice?”
Paul Ryan:
“I never said the president couldn’t kill in broad daylight. I just said I hope the president stays focused on all the great things we’re doing for the American people.”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“Michael Cohen said he would take a bullet for me. So NO MURDER! And NO COLLUSION!! WITCH HUNTS! Worse than SALEM!!! Never should have let CRIMINAL Comey (lousy writer to! book sales DOWN!) talk me out of executing KILLIN’ Hillary…”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“…and JIHAD Brennan and LEPRECHAUN Sessions. FAKE NEWS hates Trump because I built a Beautiful Wall. And brought PEACE to England! Now I’m PARDONING myself for NO CRIME! Also pardoning…”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“…extended family, all former campaign managers, present and future cabinet members. MAGA! #DraintheSwamp”
Humor from the Guardian
The New York Times:
Breaking news: in an eerie echo of Donald Trump’s infamous campaign trail remark – “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters” – many witnesses report, and CCTV footage obtained by the Times confirms, that early this morning the president drew a handgun on his former lawyer Michael Cohen and shot him dead on a street in midtown Manhattan.
House speaker Paul Ryan:
“If these reports are true – I emphasize IF – then yes, I’m very concerned. I don’t think the president should be killing people in broad daylight in front of Tiffany’s. But I’m not a legal expert, I could be wrong.”
White House press secretary Sarah Sanders:
Associated Press: “Ms Sanders, did the president shoot his former lawyer in an effort to stop him from testifying against the president?”
Sarah Sanders: “No, he did not.”
AP: “Are you saying that the shooting was not motivated by Mr Cohen’s recent plea deal, or rather that the president did not shoot him?”
SHS: “You’ve got my answer, Jim. No, no, no.”
AP: “Ms Sanders, I’m still not clear what –”
SHS: “The answer is no. No as in no. N. O. It’s these kinds of questions that have turned the American people against the press.”
CNN:
Anderson Cooper: “We’re seeing incredible images here. The president being taken into custody. Kellyanne, what can you tell us?”
Kellyanne Conway: “I’m not going to comment on rumors, Anderson.”
AC: “Kellyanne, these are not rumors. The president has handcuffs around his wrists. You’re seeing the same footage we are.”
KC: “You’re free to see things your way. I have an alternative perception.”
AC: “But how can you possibly –”
KC: “Let’s agree to disagree, Anderson!”
Senator Mitch McConnell:
“People die every day in this country. I’m not going to let myself get sidetracked by these distractions.”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“Back from GREAT chat with members of NYPD--the finest! Brand new police station. Very NICE. They want a wall too. Was NEVER taken into custody. FAKE NEWS cooked up by Crooked Hillary and FAILING NYT and CONFLICTED Mueller! Keep our borders strong – JUST SAY NO to murdering and raping Mexicans.”
Rudy Giuliani, president’s attorney:
“Let’s get our facts straight. The president was never taken into custody except for maybe around six hours. He has not been charged with murder and won’t be charged with murder because murder isn’t always murder. The constitution is very clear on this: charging the president with a crime is a crime.”
White House press briefing points:
“First of all, the president was not in Manhattan at the time of the shooting. Second, he was watching TV on the 26th floor of Trump Tower when the shots were fired. Third, while he didn’t have the opportunity to save the students at the Parkland school, this time the president was able to rush into a busy city street and thereby save dozens of lives from a distraught and possibly deranged lawyer.”
Words on Target umbrella held by Melania Trump, first lady:
“I really do care.”™
Homeland security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen:
“At this moment I can confirm that one of the alleged eyewitnesses to the shooting is a tourist from Mexico. Certainly we need to ask what a tourist from Mexico was doing in front of Tiffany’s at the time of this alleged incident. Now can I please eat my taco in peace?”
Alex Jones, Infowars:
“What I want to know is why hasn’t anyone mentioned that Chuck Schumer and Hillary Clinton were NOWHERE to be seen at the time of the shooting? Are you telling me that’s mere coincidence? C’mon! And why haven’t the NYPD and the DEEP STATE FBI looked into this? What else aren’t they looking into?”
Sean Hannity:
“What about the thousands of bills that Chuck Schumer has killed? What about Hillary’s murder of Vince Foster? And the Democrats dare talk about justice?”
Paul Ryan:
“I never said the president couldn’t kill in broad daylight. I just said I hope the president stays focused on all the great things we’re doing for the American people.”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“Michael Cohen said he would take a bullet for me. So NO MURDER! And NO COLLUSION!! WITCH HUNTS! Worse than SALEM!!! Never should have let CRIMINAL Comey (lousy writer to! book sales DOWN!) talk me out of executing KILLIN’ Hillary…”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“…and JIHAD Brennan and LEPRECHAUN Sessions. FAKE NEWS hates Trump because I built a Beautiful Wall. And brought PEACE to England! Now I’m PARDONING myself for NO CRIME! Also pardoning…”
Tweet from @realDonaldTrump:
“…extended family, all former campaign managers, present and future cabinet members. MAGA! #DraintheSwamp”
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:45 am to BigAppleBucky
pathetic and you libtards are awful at this
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:46 am to BigAppleBucky
Holy frick, no wonder the left can't meme.
Besides, at the rate libtards are parading around like homicidal maniacs in between their self masturbatory rant sessions at the innocent sky, while conveniently turning a blind eye to their own rampant hate/violence, this is definitely the pot calling the kettle black.
Besides, at the rate libtards are parading around like homicidal maniacs in between their self masturbatory rant sessions at the innocent sky, while conveniently turning a blind eye to their own rampant hate/violence, this is definitely the pot calling the kettle black.
This post was edited on 8/24/18 at 10:51 am
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:46 am to BigAppleBucky
Less humor and more liberal fantasy.
Though I admit I chuckled at the Paul Ryan response.
Though I admit I chuckled at the Paul Ryan response.
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:46 am to BigAppleBucky
What a stupid fricking waste of time.
A literal strawman of your own creation for you to to attack because reality doesn't justify your hate.
A literal strawman of your own creation for you to to attack because reality doesn't justify your hate.
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:49 am to BigAppleBucky
Hate Trumps Love. Upside down world.
Dems be like on limbo rocks... how low can you go.
Dems be like on limbo rocks... how low can you go.
This post was edited on 8/24/18 at 10:51 am
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:50 am to BigAppleBucky
quote:
If Trump shot Michael Cohen in broad daylight
99.9% of Trump's supporters, myself included would do three things:
1. Immediately stop supporting Trump and hope he goes to prison for murder.
2. Clench our butts in preparation for President Pence.
3. Make snarky comments about the people the Clintons have raped and murdered over the years. At least he was transparent about it.
This post was edited on 8/24/18 at 10:51 am
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:51 am to Nguyener
quote:
1. Immediately stop supporting Trump and hope he goes to prison for murder.
2. Clench our butts in preparation for President Pence.
The Clinton mode is two shots to the back of the head at midnight suicide.
This post was edited on 8/24/18 at 10:53 am
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:52 am to BradPitt
quote:
Holy frick, no wonder the left can't meme.
pink knitted vagina caps are the most clever thing they've come up with in years.
To quote "As Good As It Gets" : I thought you people were supposed to be the sensitive ones
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:52 am to BradPitt
quote:
Holy frick, no wonder the left can't meme.
People who get offended easily, generally have a terrible sense of humor. Recall the left used to produce folks like Trudeau (Doonesbury) - but even he seems to have lost his sense of humor.
And if you have no sense of humor about yourself, you CANNOT be funny to other people - at least not intentionally.
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:53 am to BigAppleBucky
The sad thing is that most of the democrats are so fricking stupid they'd believe it if it was reported, no matter what the truth was.
Make up shite and then get all worked up - that's how y'all roll.
Make up shite and then get all worked up - that's how y'all roll.
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:54 am to BigAppleBucky
You wasted too much time copy and pasting this.
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:54 am to SCwTiger
quote:
The sad thing is that most of the democrats are so fricking stupid they'd believe it if it was reported
I fully expect this to hit my FB page at any minute. A few more posts in this thread and Google should pick up the story
Posted on 8/24/18 at 10:58 am to BigAppleBucky
progs can't do memes, humor, and certainly not a parody.
Posted on 8/24/18 at 11:00 am to BigAppleBucky
holy wall of lame text.
why is the left so awful at humor?
why is the left so awful at humor?
Posted on 8/24/18 at 11:03 am to BigAppleBucky
You live in a bubble. Get out more. Go to a cfb game or a red state and talk to some normals. It might broaden your understanding from your NYC-centric myopia.
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