Grounded people create website for alternative universe where HRC won

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WASHINGTON D.C. -- President Hillary Rodham Clinton suffered a setback on Tuesday with a new Rasmussen poll showing her approval rating falling to merely 79 percent.

538's Nate Silver said Rasmussen's methodology means its findings are subject to an anti-Clinton "house effect," meaning that structurally, they tend to overstate her unpopularity.

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In the apology, Sony's Dr. Luke appears deeply remorseful, saying "raping Kesha has caused me to suffer from embarrassing lawsuits, the anger of my unforgiving bitch wife, and losing the millions of dollars of income I'd otherwise have gotten from producing more of Kesha's hit songs had she not said anything."

But Dr. Luke also appeared eager to cast some blame on the young pop star for her role in the sexual assaults, saying, "when it comes to rape, it takes two to tango, and it was always within Kesha's power to stop the rape by consenting. After all, she was fat, so she should have felt lucky."

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