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Message
Conversation with waitress at lunch yesterday: white privilege
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:19 am
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:19 am
There's a local place my family likes to grab lunch after church on Sundays. The food is just decent, but it's never very busy...which is great because we have a 4 yo and 22 mo.
Anyway, they have a new waitress who was doing a fantastic job, so I decided to tell her as much. This lead to a long conversation where she revealed she's working 3 jobs and her husband 2, because they're trying to save up enough money to move out of a motel and into a house...at which time their kids will move back in with them.
It really made me think about all of the motel dwellers I see at those old school, ran down motels and how those folks are always white.
It also made me think about what priviledge means.
I was fortunate to have enough brains to successfully attend a midsized state university (
) and get a job. I'm not sure what I would be doing otherwise. I sometimes wish my family had more than the $140k/yr my wife and I make...I'll never do this again.
This waitress - a 32 yo mom who has lived in 9 states, was also raised by a single mom, and whose kids are living with her mom until she has appropriate accommodations - is struggling to get by on 3 server gigs that probably pay her $400 per week.
I'm certainly the more privileged one in this scenario, and I freely admit it. However this waitress' whiteness hasn't bestowed any special priviledge onto her that I can see.
When can we blow up the term 'white privilege' and replace it with something more appropriate like 'generational privilege'?
How can those of us lucky enough to have gotten our foot in the door help/encourage those who are struggling?
Anyway, they have a new waitress who was doing a fantastic job, so I decided to tell her as much. This lead to a long conversation where she revealed she's working 3 jobs and her husband 2, because they're trying to save up enough money to move out of a motel and into a house...at which time their kids will move back in with them.
It really made me think about all of the motel dwellers I see at those old school, ran down motels and how those folks are always white.
It also made me think about what priviledge means.
I was fortunate to have enough brains to successfully attend a midsized state university (
) and get a job. I'm not sure what I would be doing otherwise. I sometimes wish my family had more than the $140k/yr my wife and I make...I'll never do this again. This waitress - a 32 yo mom who has lived in 9 states, was also raised by a single mom, and whose kids are living with her mom until she has appropriate accommodations - is struggling to get by on 3 server gigs that probably pay her $400 per week.
I'm certainly the more privileged one in this scenario, and I freely admit it. However this waitress' whiteness hasn't bestowed any special priviledge onto her that I can see.
When can we blow up the term 'white privilege' and replace it with something more appropriate like 'generational privilege'?
How can those of us lucky enough to have gotten our foot in the door help/encourage those who are struggling?
This post was edited on 10/9/17 at 8:20 am
25
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:21 am to Eli Goldfinger
Parenting privilege would be the more accurate description, but how can you pander for votes with that phrase?
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:21 am to Eli Goldfinger
quote:
When can we blow up the term 'white privilege' and replace it with something more appropriate like 'generational privilege'?
Yeah. We need more PC terms to describe "poor"
quote:
How can those of us lucky enough to have gotten our foot in the door help/encourage those who are struggling?
We pay out the arse in taxes and provide jobs. what else do you want?
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:22 am to Eli Goldfinger
Work through a faith based organization.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:22 am to Eli Goldfinger
quote:
When can we blow up the term 'white privilege' and replace it with something more appropriate like 'generational privilege'?
It's 100% socioeconomic.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:25 am to Eli Goldfinger
quote:
move out of a motel and into a house...at which time their kids will move back in with them.
I think there must be more to the story here. A motel costs more than renting or owning.
We had folks that would stay at the homeless shelter and their alternative was go find a motel. That is not financially affordable in the long run for some one without enough funds or even with funds for that matter.
This post was edited on 10/9/17 at 8:27 am
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:28 am to Eli Goldfinger
quote:
22 mo
that is all
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:29 am to Eli Goldfinger
While I think white privilege is overblown (especially by comparison to socio-economic privilege), I think it's off base to pretend it doesn't exist at all, at least in countries in which whites are the majority (frankly, if people were honest, it would be more appropriately referred to as majority privilege, anyway. The fact that it's white privilege ironically speaks to Eurocentrism).
This is the original piece on the subject written almost three decades ago. You may not agree with every point, but I'm not sure one can reasonably argue against every point:
LINK
Now, we can certainly debate how much any of these things matter, but they almost certainly exist.
This is the original piece on the subject written almost three decades ago. You may not agree with every point, but I'm not sure one can reasonably argue against every point:
LINK
Now, we can certainly debate how much any of these things matter, but they almost certainly exist.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:32 am to themunch
quote:
A motel costs more than renting or owning.
Long-term yes, but not upfront.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:33 am to Eli Goldfinger
There is no doubt that some people are more blessed than others when it comes to their upbringing and parenting. The question is, how are we supposed to address it?
Many groups of people are in undesirable situations by their own choices and unfortunately, their kids suffer, and oftentimes repeat their parents behaviors.
It isn't what people would call fair, but life has never been fair.
Do you think the child in India rummaging through the trash for something to eat asked to be placed in that situation?
There are no easy answers and simple black and white responses can't solve this issue.
Many groups of people are in undesirable situations by their own choices and unfortunately, their kids suffer, and oftentimes repeat their parents behaviors.
It isn't what people would call fair, but life has never been fair.
Do you think the child in India rummaging through the trash for something to eat asked to be placed in that situation?
There are no easy answers and simple black and white responses can't solve this issue.
This post was edited on 10/9/17 at 8:36 am
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:33 am to themunch
quote:
motel costs more than renting or owning.
Not the kind of
Hotel he is talking about
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:34 am to Eli Goldfinger
quote:white privilege is an actual thing, and pointing out that every white person isn't rich is a pretty lazy way to counter that fact.
When can we blow up the term 'white privilege' and replace it with something more appropriate like 'generational privilege'?
This post was edited on 10/9/17 at 8:35 am
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:34 am to Eli Goldfinger
The only proven privilege in this country is the 2 parent privilege.
WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD cant any protest/movement/whatever in this country push for 2 parent households!?
WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD cant any protest/movement/whatever in this country push for 2 parent households!?
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:36 am to themunch
Depends on the level of motel we are talking.
Your Ten Flags Inn / Alamo Court Motel etc places are the kind of fleabag dumps which offer insanely low prices to rent by the month for a furnished room.
Your Ten Flags Inn / Alamo Court Motel etc places are the kind of fleabag dumps which offer insanely low prices to rent by the month for a furnished room.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:36 am to RogerTheShrubber
care to venture a guess as to whether a white baby or black baby would be more likely to win the genetic lottery (be born a Turner, Oschner, Pennington, etc...)
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:38 am to notsince98
quote:
The only proven privilege in this country is the 2 parent privilege.
WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD cant any protest/movement/whatever in this country push for 2 parent households!?
Preach, brother!
PREACH!!!!!
ETA: Here's what my white privilege looked like. I grew up in a two-parent household with four brothers and sisters. It was understood from my earliest recollections that I would go to college. My father put himself through school - every last cent. I didn't have to pay all of my college costs, but I had to pay some, so I worked throughout my college years.
I got out of college and worked my tail off. I've been laid off 6 times (laid off, not fired), but I've almost never been out of work for more than a month since graduating. After my last layoff, I said screw this and struck out on my own.
I have to work constantly at finding work. I sell myself and my services. If I don't work, I don't make money. That's the privilege my skin color has afforded me.
Those 'white' values of hard work, getting an education and getting married then having kids are available and free to everyone. As far as I know, everyone who applies them succeeds.
This post was edited on 10/9/17 at 8:46 am
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:46 am to Eli Goldfinger
"Parenting privilege" (thanks, boosie)
"Monetary privilege"
"Wisdom privilege"
There are all sorts of more accurate phrasings, but those put the onus on the "victim" whereas "white privilege" puts the blame on a generic group. Also, personal or familial responsibility doesn't sell ads quite as well as racism.
"Monetary privilege"
"Wisdom privilege"
There are all sorts of more accurate phrasings, but those put the onus on the "victim" whereas "white privilege" puts the blame on a generic group. Also, personal or familial responsibility doesn't sell ads quite as well as racism.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:46 am to Joshjrn
quote:
While I think white privilege is overblown (especially by comparison to socio-economic privilege), I think it's off base to pretend it doesn't exist at all, at least in countries in which whites are the majority (frankly, if people were honest, it would be more appropriately referred to as majority privilege, anyway. The fact that it's white privilege ironically speaks to Eurocentrism).
It has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin. As Ben Shapiro points out, the #1 indicator of “success” is if you are raised in a 2 Parent Household. This is an undeniable fact and crosses every demographic.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:56 am to ABearsFanNMS
quote:
It has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin. As Ben Shapiro points out, the #1 indicator of “success” is if you are raised in a 2 Parent Household. This is an undeniable fact and crosses every demographic.
and a close #2 is having a parent or parents that read to their children regularly from very early on.
Posted on 10/9/17 at 8:57 am to shinerfan
quote:
That is not financially affordable in the long run
Life is about the long run especially if you are parenting.
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