Page 1
Page 1
Started By
Message

Teacher tries the old "my cat opened the bottle of lube" defense

Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:04 pm
Posted by arseinclarse
Algiers Purnt
Member since Apr 2007
34412 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:04 pm
LINK



quote:

The Riverdale prep school teacher on trial for allegedly having sex with his 16-year-old student came up with yet another bizarre excuse Thursday when probed about the tube of lubricant his jilted lover discovered on his coffee table.

“My cats can open fridges — they open cabinets,” Richard Hovan testified nonchalantly in Manhattan Supreme Court.

Prosecutor Shanda Strain fired back, “So the cats could open a box? Take the lid off?”
Hovan answered, “I don’t know who could do it — because it wasn’t me.”








This post was edited on 2/27/15 at 3:53 pm
Posted by Slingin Pickle
Fancy side of the North Shore
Member since Jun 2008
3013 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:07 pm to
doesnt matter


had sex
Posted by Y.A. Tittle
Member since Sep 2003
101468 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:08 pm to
I like how the article calls him creepy.
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134865 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:09 pm to
quote:

laimed he and the teen were merely doing crossword puzzles together after she stayed over his Chelsea apartment.


8 Down

Five letter acronym for anal sex
Posted by ClientNumber9
Member since Feb 2009
9316 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:10 pm to
Posted by LSUTygerFan
Homerun Village
Member since Jun 2008
33232 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:13 pm to
quote:

“If you’re just sitting down on the couch doing crossword puzzles, why is [the victim] climbing down the fire escape? Does that make any sense?




guess who aint getting a second date?
Posted by Topwater Trout
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
67590 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:16 pm to
quote:

Hovan’s then-fiancée Marina Bontkowski — who burst in on the geometry teacher as his strawberry blond victim was allegedly straddling him in May 2011.


awkward
Posted by NawlinsTiger9
Where the mongooses roam
Member since Jan 2009
34905 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:17 pm to
quote:

Teacher tries the old "my cat opened the bottle of lube" defense


oldest trick in the book
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:18 pm to
quote:

awkward


only chance is the "who you gonna believe, me? or your lyin' eyes?" Hail Mary
Posted by jeff5891
Member since Aug 2011
15761 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:19 pm to
My SO's cat has done the same thing
Posted by mattz1122
Member since Oct 2007
52810 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:22 pm to
quote:

strawberry blond victim



Come on, NY Post, you're better than this.


Actually, no, you're not.
Posted by Patrick_Bateman
Member since Jan 2012
17823 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:29 pm to
quote:

doesnt matter


had sex
So hilarious! Especially when applied to rape.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:30 pm to
quote:

Especially when applied to rape.


just because she was straddling him doesn't mean she was raping him
Posted by Geaux2015
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
1212 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:33 pm to
You have posted some crazy articles this week. What do you search for to find these?
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 2:33 pm to
this one is probably his client
Posted by summersausage
Member since Jul 2010
1816 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 3:06 pm to
quote:

probed about the tube of lubricant
Posted by LSUJuice
Back in Houston
Member since Apr 2004
17673 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 3:24 pm to
quote:

when probed


quote:

poked holes in
Posted by detmut
Jesuit 81 Metairie
Member since Sep 2011
2304 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 3:31 pm to
is this the cat?

Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65714 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 3:39 pm to
HOVAN!!!!!

Posted by Chicken
Jackassistan
Member since Aug 2003
22022 posts
Posted on 2/27/15 at 3:43 pm to
Please edit your post. You can only quote 2-3 paragraphs max.
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 1Next pagelast page
refresh

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram